Chapter 5

ASHTON:

It was already past eleven when I got home. Dapat kaninang alasyete pa ako umuwi. Dahil alam kong may occasion ngayon dito sa mansion. Pero hindi ako makaalis-alis sa apartment ni Lucy. Nagtatampo pa rin kasi ito na uuwi na naman ako kay Lexi. Kaya sinamahan ko na muna siya doon at ipinagluto ng dinner. Nanood din kami ng dalawang movies sa sala ng apartment niya kaya inabot ako ng alasdyes doon.

The mansion was unusually quiet. Napanguso ako na inabot ang briefcase ko at bumaba ng kotse. Maybe everyone had probably gone to bed except for the guards assigned to the night shift.

"Good evening, Sir."

Pagbati ng mga guard sa akin. I nodded at them before walking inside. The moment I stepped into the mansion, my eyes automatically searched the living room.

I expected to see Lexi there. Waiting for me. Like she always did. For two years, no matter how late I came home, she was always sitting on that couch, fighting sleep while waiting for my arrival. Nasanay na ako na gano'n ang naaabutan ko dito sa mansion sa tuwing umuuwi ako, maaga man o late na.

But tonight, the couch was empty.

My gaze lingered on the vacant seat longer than it should have. Walang Lexi ang nakaupo doon, nakangiting sasalubungin ako, babatiin ako at kukunin ang dala ko.

A strange feeling crept into my chest.

I loosened my necktie and headed straight to the dining room. Maybe she had fallen asleep there while waiting. Napailing ako sa mga naiisip. But the moment I entered, I froze. Because the dining table was empty.

Walang Lexi ang narito. There were no covered dishes. No dinner waiting to be reheated. No tea. Nothing. Napakalinis ng mesa na walang maski anong naroon ngayong gabi. Napalunok ako.

I stared at the table. For the first time in two years, I came home to an empty dining room. And somehow, I didn't like it. Not one bit. Kakaiba ang dating nito sa puso ko na unang beses. . . walang Lexi, walang dinner, walang naghihintay na asawa sa pagdating ko.

Napapikit ako na sumasariwa pa ang nakaraan sa akin. Ang gabi-gabi kong pag-uwi dito sa mansion. Lexi taking my briefcase the moment I walked through the door. Pulling out a chair for me. Preparing my tea exactly the way I liked it. Reheating dinner. Sitting quietly beside me while I ate. Afterward, she would clean everything up before going upstairs.

By the time I finished showering, my clothes would already be prepared. Even my watch. Even my tie. Even my damn underwear. Everything. Hindi pumapalya si Lexi sa pag-aasikaso sa akin at paghahanda ng mga kailangan ko.

I released a long breath and rubbed my temple.

Tonight was our second wedding anniversary. There’s a part of me had expected her to prepare something. A special dinner. A cake. Anything. Katulad noong nakaraang anniversary namin. May binili pa nga itong regalo at kahit wala akong regalo sa kanya, kahit hindi ko siya binati sa araw na iyon, nakangiti pa rin siya at masayang sinamahan ako sa dinner.

Pero ngayong gabi. . . ibang-iba. Hindi ko inaasahan na gan'to ang sasalubong sa akin.

"Is she sick?"

I frowned. Napailing ako sa naiisip na dahilan. There had been times when Lexi was running a fever, yet she still insisted on taking care of me herself. We had servants. But she always wanted to do everything personally. Because she loved me. Dahil mas gusto nitong siya ang umaasikaso sa amin ni baby.

The thought made something twist painfully inside my chest. I shook my head and headed upstairs. Pagod din ang katawan ko at inaantok na din ako. Tanungin ko na lang siya bukas kung bakit walang dinner na nakahanda sa pagdating ko. That's it.

When I entered our bedroom, only the bedside lamp illuminated the room. The bed was empty. My brows furrowed. Hinanap ng paningin ko sa buong silid ang pigura ni Lexi, pero wala ito. Then my eyes landed on the crib beside the bed.

Lumapit ako doon at nakahingang maluwag. There she was. Sleeping beside our son. One arm wrapped protectively around our baby. Hindi ko alam pero–para akong namagnet sa kinatatayuan.

I stood there for several seconds. Just watching them. The sight should have felt normal. Instead, it felt different. My gaze slowly moved to Lexi's face. And that was when I noticed it. Her eyes were swollen. Even in her sleep, traces of tears remained on her cheeks. My chest tightened.

She'd been crying.

I didn't know why, but seeing her like that made me uncomfortable or should I say. . . it hurts. Parang may kumukurot sa puso ko na makita sa unang pagkakataon. . . na kagagaling niya sa pag-iyak. I found myself staring at her face. Trying to remember the last time I had actually looked at her.

The woman who had spent two years loving me. Waiting for me. Taking care of me. While I gave her almost nothing in return. Hindi naman nagrereklamo si Lexi. Kahit nga hindi ko siya kausapin o sulyapan, hindi siya nagrereklamo.

Slowly, I reached out. My fingers hovering just inches away from her cheek. I wanted to brush away the loose strands of hair covering her face. I wanted to know why she had been crying. But before I could touch her–my phone vibrated.

The sound echoed in the quiet room. Para akong sinabuyan ng malamig na tubig at nahimasmasan. I immediately pulled my hand back. Almost as if I'd been caught doing something wrong.

Hinugot ko ang cellphone ko sa bulsa at tinignan ang nag-text. I glanced at the screen. A message from Lucy. My girlfriend.

“Are you home already? I miss you.”

I stared at the message. Normally, I would've replied right away. Normally, seeing her name would make me smile. But tonight. . . for some reason, I found myself looking back at Lexi instead.

At her swollen eyes. At the sadness lingering on her sleeping face. And for the first time in a very long time. . . I couldn't bring myself to reply. Inilapag ko ang cellphone sa mesa at kinalas ang necktie ko. Hinubad ko ang long sleeve at sapatos ko at tumuloy sa banyo.

Hindi ko alam pero. . . biglang may kung anong mabigat na bagay ang pumatong sa dibdib ko.

“What happened? Umiyak ba siya. . . dahil late akong umuwi?”

*****

After taking a shower, I sat on the edge of the bed. The room was quiet except for the soft hum of the air conditioner. Katulad kanina, wala ding nakahandang damit ko na nakagawian ko.

My gaze drifted toward the crib beside the bed. For a moment, I simply watched them. Si Lexi at Ashford. Ang totoo niya'n, adopted son lang namin si Ashford. Ayokong anakan si Lexi dahil hindi ko naman ito mahal. Mabuti na lang at pumayag siyang mag-ampon kami ng bata. . . at palabasing baog ito.

Two years.

We've been married for two years. Yet I could barely remember a time when I truly looked at my wife. Not as the woman who took care of me. Not as the mother of my child. Just. . . Lexi.

The truth was, I spent most of our marriage avoiding her. Avoiding her feelings. Avoiding her expectations. Avoiding the guilt that came with every smile she gave me. Dahil alam kong hindi ko masusuklian ang mga ibinibigay nito.

My eyes settled on her face. The swollen eyes. The dried tear stains on her cheeks. Even in her sleep, she looked heartbroken. Muli akong nakadama ng kirot na mapatitig sa maamo niyang mukha. Kung tutuusin, ikinulong ko na siya magmula nang ikasal kaming dalawa. Ako ang nasusunod sa lahat.

Napahinga akong malalim na napahilot sa sentido. I leaned back against the headboard and closed my eyes. But instead of sleep, memories came flooding back.

Memories I hadn't allowed myself to think about in years. Memories of how Lexi came into our lives. How a stranger washed ashore on our island. And how one lie changed all of our lives forever.

It started two years ago.

*****

Papasok na ako sa trabaho, nang aksidente kong marinig si lola at family lawyer namin sa study room. Napahinto ako at lumapit sa nakasiwang na pintuan. Dinig ko ang lola na nagpapagawa ng last will and testament nito incase daw na hindi ako sumunod sa gusto niya.

At iyon ay ang hindi ko mamanahin ang yaman ng pamilya namin. . . oras na hindi ko pakasalan ang mapipili niyang babae. Alam ni lola na may minamahal na ako. My grandmother had never approved of her. Ayaw niya kay Lucy dahil mas matanda ito ng fifteen years sa akin. Ayaw niya dito dahil minsan ko na itong naging professor sa college back then.

Alam kong tototohanin ni lola na wala akong mamanahin. Dahil ang buong kayamanan ng pamilya Valmont ay maido-donate sa orphanage namin. Kaya naman kahit ayoko, pumayag ako nang sabihin ni lola na siya ang pipili ng mapapangasawa ko.

A few months later, the storm happened. The accident happened without warning. May dalawang yate ang nagsalpukan at sumabog sa dagat malapit sa aming isla.

Alam kong pabalik na noon si Lucy at posibleng sakay siya ng isa sa mga yate. Kaya naman nagtungo ako sa kinangyarihan ng aksidente.

Pagdating ko doon, marami na ang tao. The shoreline was crowded with rescuers, coast guards, and families desperately searching for their loved ones. I searched every survivor. Every injured passenger. Every rescued victim. But Lucy wasn't there.

Lumipas ang mga oras, nakuha na lahat ng mga pahinante. Walang Lucy ang nahanap sa mga katawan. Pabalik na sana ako sa mansion nang may mahagip ang paningin ko sa ‘di kalayuan. Isang katawan na palutang-lutang. I dove into the sea and swam toward it.

At first, umaasa akong si Lucy ito dahil babae siya. It was a young woman. Unconscious. Barely breathing. Dinala ko ito sa pampang, at nadismaya na makitang. . . hindi siya si Lucy. Iniligtas ko ito at ginawa ang CPR para tulungan siya. Hindi naman nagtagal, napaubo ito ng tubig at muli ding nawalan ng malay.

A few hours later, Lucy's parents arrived on the island.

Umalis na ako at ipinaubaya sa kanila ang dalaga. Hindi ko naman alam na magkakaroon ng temporary amnesia ang babaeng sinagip ko. Hindi ko rin alam na nagpanggap silang mga magulang nito at binigyan siya ng pangalan.

At first, ayoko sana sa plano nilang dalawa. Dahil kahit maloko ako, ayoko namang lokohin si lola. Isang araw, dumalaw ako sa hospital at nagulat sa isiniwalat nila sa akin. I looked at the woman sleeping on the hospital bed. Completely unaware that strangers were deciding her future.

Then I made the biggest mistake of my life.

Pumayag ako sa plano nilang pagpapanggap na anak si Lexi. Dahil malaking tulong sa kanilang pamilya. . . kapag maging parte sila ng pamilya Valmont. Higit sa lahat? Makukuha ko rin ang pamana na nararapat sa akin.

Katulad sa plano, natupad iyon lahat. Naging parte ng pamilya Valmont ang mga magulang ni Lucy. . . habang ako naman ay namana ang nararapat sa akin. At lahat ng ito at dahil sa isang tao. . . si Lexi.