ログイン*Cathwulf*
On my way to work, walking through the small town of Azalea in Oregon, I am thinking about all the big things that will or might happen soon.
The rituals and the first change is certain, unless I should happen to not have a wolf, but that is so rare that I do not really fear it.
I don’t know much about the rituals, no young wolf is told beforehand. All I know is that they are sacred, given to us by the moon goddess herself and that they are different for men and women, but equally important.
The butterflies rumble a bit in my stomach, but it is the good kind. I am sure it will be a great experience joining the wolf ranks for real, getting my place in the hiraki.
To be honest I do not wish for much. Not knowing who my real parents are, no one can really guess about my rank. But most orphans are fighters or omegas.
Then there is the other thing, but there is no guarantee at all that I will find my true mate. It can happen that night, if he is there… maybe I will have to visit other packs searching for him. Or I could be like Lyca, she has never found her… maybe he died before they had a chance to meet.
This is something I have been dreaming of since I was a little girl: finding my mate. I hope he is handsome, kind and smart, someone I can talk to as well as snuggle up too. The man who will be my first and only everything.
I smile to myself, thinking of the man of my dreams. My very own Mr. Right… trying to imagine how he might look.
He doesn’t have to be someone powerful or famous… like an Alpha or a top ranked warrior, not that I would complain of course. But I mean, I am nothing but an orphan, so I am happy if he is a good man.
I spend the rest of my walk imagining how our first meeting will be. Will he take my hands and confess his undying love ? Will he kiss me in the moonlight ?
To be honest I have never seen anyone meet their true mate for the first time, as I have not been allowed to attend any first change ceremony, logically, but I have seen Them, the newly mated and they always seem so happy.
That is what I want the most, someone to look at me like I am the most beautiful creature under the moon … someone who will want to kiss me constantly because I am his everything.
Yes I am very much a dreamer and a romantic, my whole family tells me all the time, but I don’t care if they tease me, that is what I dream off and a girl can dream right ?
Reaching work I hurry inside, go to the maschine and clock in, before finding my small desk and starting with my work.
I actually like my job, even if it is for a company producing fur products. Evill Winterbottom Fur, it is called, it is the biggest fur company in Oregon, and the owners are very rich, like actual billionaires.
I guess it is a weird job giving that I will have fur myself soon, but mom needs the money, and it was the only job I could get. Also I only do paper work, and typing up letters and stuff, I do not work with the furs.
Most of my colleagues are also very nice. Especially those working in the same area as me, and we often talk during breaks, even if most of them are older than me and all are humans. They don’t know about werewolves of course.
Humans often come off as very little observant to be honest, they seem to think the pack is some sort of commune or cult, depending if they like us or not.
After having worked for about half an hour someone taps me on the shoulder and I turn to see Mr Evill’s personal secretary Rita. “Mr. Evill would like to see you in his office for some reason”.
To be honest Rita is one of the few People here I don’t like much. She seems to always look down her nose at others.
I smile at her nonetheless. “Oh.. he would. Okay, let me just finish this..”.
“Now !” She barks. “Mr. Evill said he wanted to see you now… you are not gonna make him wait are you ?”
“No of course not”. I hurriedly put my things away and get up. “Coming”.
She strides off with a huff and I follow with my heart pounding in my chest.
I feel myself getting all flustered and I quickly smooth down my clothes and hair, wanting to look perfect for the boss.
For some reason he always makes me very flustered and nervous, and him requesting me to come to his office like this has never happened before.
*Cathwulf* The blood on the ribbon is not much.That almost makes it worse.A dramatic splash would be cartoonish. This is a thumb smear, dark and dried against black satin, as if whoever tied the box had done it with a cut hand and a steady pulse. Nessa opens the lid with a pen while the rest of us stand around it like parishioners at a cursed christening.Inside lies a white fox-fur stole.Not fake. Not synthetic. Real fur, creamy and luminous under the office lamp, soft enough to make my stomach turn on contact. Nestled beneath it is a card in Torn Eviil's beautiful handwriting.‘For the chapel, since one should dress appropriately for revelation.’The blood is not human.A courtesy sample from one of our more difficult guests.Come alone if you want the living to remain so.The address is printed below. Fairfield.My hand goes cold around the edge of the desk.Therian reads over my shoulder and goes still in that terrifying way he has, all movement stripped out and violence packe
*Cathwulf*I do not sleep in the pack house.I attempt sleep in the pack house, which is a very different sport.Therian gives me a room at the far end of the guest wing and does not call it mine, ours, or safe. He says, "It locks from the inside. Bram is at the stairwell. Nessa is across the hall if you need her. If you need me, send for me."Then he waits like he is expecting another condition.I fold my arms. "And if I do not need you?"His face stays steady, but something tired moves behind it. "Then I stay away."That should be easy. It is not.He leaves. The door closes. The room is warm, clean, and too nice. Heavy curtains. A broad bed. A lamp with a brass base shaped like antlers because werewolves are incapable of decorating without committing to the bit. Somebody has set my new shoes by the wardrobe and left a folded gray sleep shirt on the bed, plain cotton, no lace, no agenda.I hate that the lack of agenda feels intimate.I shower because I smell like dust, old coffee, an
*Cathwulf* I do not go into the pack house because somebody says strategy.I go because I want a map, a lock on the door, and enough coffee to survive a room full of wolves discovering spreadsheets.Therian gives me all three.The room he takes me to is on the ground floor, off a narrow hall behind the main office. It smells like toner, pine cleaner, and old arguments. There is a scarred wooden table in the middle, a wall map of county lines, two filing cabinets, and a whiteboard that already has names and arrows on it in Bram's blocky handwriting.Someone has also set a tray of coffee on the sideboard with mismatched mugs and a plate of grocery store cookies nobody will touch because pack masculinity is a fragile little religion.Therian closes the door behind us, then stops far enough back that I can still reach the handle first.Small things. He keeps doing them."I had these brought in," he says.On the table sits a black duffel bag.I eye it. "If that contains ceremonial robes,
*Cathwulf* I do not like forests at night when men have invited me into them.Daylight woods can still pretend at innocence. At night, every tree looks like a witness with bark for skin. The moon hangs low and white over the clearing ahead, and the pack house beyond it glows in scattered windows like something old trying to look civilized.I stop at the edge of the tree line.Therian stops with me.He has not tried to take my elbow on the walk up. He has not tried to steer me. Bram trails behind at a respectful distance, which I appreciate enough to resent slightly, because now I have to admit at least one of them can learn.The clearing smells like pine, damp soil, wolf, and tension. A bad vintage."You can still say no," Therian says quietly.I glance at him. "To the council, or to the little moonlit parade where they all stare at the rare female your kind can't seem to stop treating like public property?"His mouth tightens. "To all of it."That stops me for half a beat.Three mont
*Cathwulf*The delivery man makes the mistake of smiling at me.It is a harmless smile, nervous and apologetic, the kind men wear when they suspect they have brought trouble to the wrong woman but would still like a signature. I cannot even hate him for it."Who sent it?" I ask, though I already know.He checks the little clipboard. "Eviil Winterbottom Holdings."Of course it is not enough for Torn Eviil to be obscene. He has to be branded.Therian's jaw goes hard across from me. He does not stand. He does not rip the boxes apart with his teeth. Gold star for basic civilized behavior."Refuse it," he says.I turn my head slowly and look at him until he realizes what he just did.His mouth tightens. "That was an order.""Yes," I say. "I noticed."He exhales through his nose. "Sorry."The delivery man looks like he would rather be hit by a bus.I hold out my hand. "Give me the card."He passes over a cream envelope so thick it could survive a flood. My stomach turns before I even open it
*Cathwulf*I spend the next three hours serving coffee to my past.Joe's Diner has never looked less like a refuge and more like a badly managed supernatural hostage exchange. Earl complains about hash browns. Mrs. Porter asks for more lemon and pretends not to notice the three dangerous men sitting in a row of booths like a particularly violent barbershop quartet. Ted keeps shouting for runners. Mandy keeps drifting by the window to get a better look at my misery.And Therian sits where I put him.That should not matter. It does.He does not pace. He does not order me around. He does not stalk to the counter every five minutes and make my skin crawl. He just sits there with a black coffee going cold in front of him and those terrible alpha shoulders held too still, like if he moves wrong I will bolt through the wall.Twice I catch him starting to stand when another customer reaches for my arm or leans too close over the counter. Twice he stops himself.Good. Let restraint hurt.At ele
*Therian* “Good, I prefer not to have an audience”. The young woman wraps her arms around men and tries to kiss me, but I turn my head away, so instead she kisses me down the neck instead. I am looking towards the door, a weird pain spreading inside my chest. I am not sure why I even do this … this
2 weeks later*Cathwulf*&nb
*Cathwolf*“Time to de-rope”. The alpha exclaims with grandiosity, letting his own rope fall, making me avoid my eyes. I have never seen a naked man in real life, not a grown man, only my younger brothers when little.But then everyone drops the
*Cathwulf*I look at myself in the mirror, smiling at my reflection. I am wearing no makeup, my hair hanging loose and I am only wearing a rope of white silk…and by only I mean no underwear. These are the instructions I have been given. I guess it has to do with the transforma







