Chapter 11

The Smell That Changed Everything

When James left Bellmont for Riverton, I was surprisingly happy.

I knew that probably sounded terrible, especially after everything I had told him at the restaurant. But the truth was that I needed the space.

James was a good man. He had been kind to me when I needed kindness. He listened when I talked, he made me laugh, and he never made me feel like I had to earn his attention.

But there was something I had never been able to give him.

That feeling.

That uncontrollable pull toward someone.

I enjoyed being around James, but I wasn't in love with him in the way I had been with Vince. I wasn't even sure I had ever felt physically attracted to him. I could sit beside him for hours and talk about absolutely nothing, and somehow those conversations could become the best part of my day.

But when he tried to get closer, I always found a reason to create distance.

I knew it.

He probably knew it too.

So when he told me he had to return to Riverton for work, I didn't feel sad.

I actually felt relieved.

"Call me when you get there," I told him as he packed his things.

James looked at me for a few seconds before smiling.

"I will."

"And don't work too hard."

"You sound like my mother."

I laughed.

"Maybe someone needs to tell you to slow down."

He shook his head, picked up his bag and walked toward the door.

Before leaving, he turned around.

"You'll be okay here by yourself?"

I nodded.

"I'll be fine."

He hesitated for a moment.

Then he walked back, hugged me, and kissed my forehead.

"I'll see you soon."

I watched him leave.

When the door finally closed behind him, I stood there quietly.

And instead of feeling lonely, I smiled.

For the first time in days, I had the room to myself.

I could sleep whenever I wanted.

Eat whenever I wanted.

Go wherever I wanted.

Nobody was waiting for me.

Nobody was asking questions.

Nobody was expecting anything from me.

I spent most of that day walking around Bellmont, enjoying the little freedom I had given myself.

I stopped at a few shops and bought things I didn't even need. I sat at a small restaurant and ordered something to eat while scrolling through my phone.

For a few hours, I forgot about Vince.

I forgot about the marriage.

I forgot about the lies.

I even forgot about the conversation I had with James.

It felt good.

But later that afternoon, when I returned to the place where I was staying, something happened that I couldn't explain.

I had barely stepped inside when I caught the smell of perfume.

I stopped.

It was familiar.

James's perfume.

He had worn it almost every day since I had arrived.

Normally, I didn't think much of the smell.

But this time, the moment it reached my nose, my stomach twisted.

I covered my mouth.

"Oh my God."

I gagged.

I quickly opened the window and stepped outside, taking deep breaths.

For a few seconds, I just stood there.

My eyes watered.

My stomach still felt unsettled.

"What was that?"

I looked around as if someone might have an explanation for what had just happened.

There wasn't one.

I laughed quietly.

Maybe the perfume had been too strong.

Maybe I hadn't eaten enough.

Maybe travelling had finally caught up with me.

I had been sick before.

This wasn't the first time my stomach had given me problems.

So I didn't think much of it.

I closed the window and went back inside.

By the time evening came, I had completely forgotten about it.

I ordered dinner, watched television and eventually fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up feeling perfectly normal.

That made me forget about the perfume incident even more.

I got dressed and went out again.

I walked through the town, bought myself something cold to drink and spent the afternoon sitting outside a little café.

Everything felt normal.

Until it wasn't.

By late afternoon, I suddenly felt nauseous again.

I put my drink down.

My stomach turned so quickly that I barely had time to react.

I stood up and hurried to the bathroom.

Afterward, I stared at myself in the mirror.

I looked tired.

But I wasn't frightened.

Not yet.

I washed my face and took a few slow breaths.

"This is nothing."

I said it quietly, almost as if I needed to convince myself.

I'd been sick before.

My body had done strange things before.

There was no reason to panic.

And there was one more reason I didn't allow myself to think about pregnancy.

The doctors.

I remembered sitting in that doctor's office years ago, listening carefully as they explained that getting pregnant could be extremely difficult for me.

Those words had stayed with me.

I had accepted them.

Maybe I would never have children.

Maybe that part of my life simply wasn't meant for me.

So pregnancy wasn't something I considered when I felt sick.

It wasn't even close to the top of my list.

I blamed the food.

Then the travelling.

Then stress.

Then the fact that I hadn't been sleeping properly.

Anything was easier to believe.

That evening, James called.

I smiled when I saw his name on my screen.

"Hey."

"How are you?"

"I'm good."

"You sound tired."

"I'm just relaxing."

There was a pause.

"You sure you're okay?"

I smiled.

"Yes, James. I'm fine."

I didn't tell him that I had been sick again.

I didn't want him worrying about me while he was back in Riverton dealing with work.

Besides, I wasn't even worried about myself.

Not yet.

After the call ended, I placed my phone beside me and lay back on the bed.

For some reason, my hand rested on my stomach.

I didn't know why.

I stared at the ceiling.

Then that strange thought appeared again.

What if?

I immediately pushed it away.

No.

That couldn't be it.

The doctors had already told me my chances were extremely low.

I had believed them for years.

So why would I suddenly be different now?

I turned onto my side and closed my eyes.

I didn't know it yet, but my body had already started giving me answers.

I just wasn't ready to listen.