LOGINJeremy’s standing in the hallway watching me and the second he sees my face his whole expression shifts, concern replacing everything else.
“Cam—” “Tracker,” I cut him off, and my voice sounds strange in my own ears, too high and unsteady. “What tracker was he talking about? How does he know where I’ve been?” Jeremy exhales slowly, runs both hands through his hair until it stands up in different directions. “Ryan has this thing he does. Puts tracking apps on people’s phones—girlfriends, business partners, anyone he thinks he needs to keep tabs on. It’s something he’s been doing for years.” “And you knew about this?” “I knew he did it to other people. I had no idea he was doing it to you.” The floor seems to tilt under my feet and I close my eyes, trying to process what that means. Every coffee shop I’ve been to, every time I met Reina, every doctor’s appointment, every single place I’ve gone for who knows how long—he knew. He was watching me. Monitoring my every move. “How long?” My voice cracks on the question. “How long has he been tracking me?” “I don’t know, Cam. Could be months. Could be the entire time you’ve been together.” Nausea rolls through me and I lean back against the wall because I need something solid to hold me up. “You need to tell me what’s going on,” Jeremy says quietly, stepping closer but not touching me, giving me space. “I’ve known Ryan for years and I’ve never seen him like that. What happened between you two?” I open my mouth to say I don’t want to talk about it, that it’s too complicated, that I need time to think, but what comes out instead is: “I’m pregnant.” Jeremy goes completely still. His face drains of all color and for a long moment he just stares at me like I’ve spoken in a language he doesn’t understand. “You’re—” He stops, swallows visibly. “Wait, what? You’re pregnant?” I start to respond but stop because my head is starting to feel strange, light and disconnected, and there’s this pressure building behind my eyes that won’t go away. Jeremy’s staring at me and I can see him processing, can see the questions forming, and there’s something else in his expression too—doubt, maybe, or confusion. “Cam,” he says slowly, carefully, “whose baby is it?” The question hits me like a slap. “What?” “I just—Ryan’s been gone for three months, and if you’re-” “It’s his,” I cut in, the edge in my voice slipping out. “It’s Ryan’s baby. The timeline matches, I promise you it’s his.” “Okay.” He holds up both hands. “Okay, I believe you. I just had to ask because—” “Because you thought maybe that’s why I left?” My voice is rising now and I can’t seem to control it. “You thought maybe I was running away because I cheated on him or something?” “No, that’s not—I didn’t mean it like that, Cam. I just needed to understand what’s going on because Ryan was acting like—” He stops, shakes his head. “Like what?” “Like he’s hunting you. And I need to know why.” I open my mouth to answer but suddenly my stomach lurches violently and I press a hand over my mouth. “Cam?” The nausea hits in a wave and I barely make it to the kitchen sink before I’m throwing up, heaving until there’s nothing left, and this is the first time this has happened, the first time in twelve weeks I’ve actually gotten sick, and I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or the stress or everything combined but I can’t stop. Jeremy’s behind me, pulling my hair back with one hand, and when I finally stop and straighten up he’s looking at me with this expression I can’t read. “You need to sit down,” he says. “And you need to eat something. When’s the last time you ate?” I try to remember and come up blank. “I don’t know. Yesterday maybe?” “Jesus, Cam.” He guides me toward the couch. “Okay, sit. What sounds good? What can you keep down?” “I don’t know, I just—” And suddenly the only thing I can think about is, “Milk. Do you have milk?” “Milk?” “Please, Jeremy. I really need some milk right now.” He’s looking at me like I’ve lost my mind but he nods. “Okay, yeah, let me check—” He opens the fridge, moves things around, closes it again. “I don’t have any. I haven’t been to the store in a few days. But there’s a corner store two blocks away, I can run down and grab some. Will you be okay here for a few minutes?” I nod even though I’m not sure that’s true. “Okay. Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” “Okay.” He grabs his keys off the counter and I hear the front door open and close, hear his footsteps retreating down the stairs. And then I’m alone. I sink down on the couch, pressing my palms against my eyes because everything is spinning now and I can’t make it stop. Pregnant. Ryan tracking my phone. Hiding in a closet in Jeremy’s apartment. This morning I woke up thinking I was just sick, just stressed, and now my entire life has detonated. I need to calm down. Need to breathe. Need to figure out what I’m going to do next. But I can’t hold onto a single thought, and the room won’t stop moving, my heartbeat tripping over itself and— The front door opens. “Got the milk,” Jeremy calls out, and I hear his footsteps coming closer. “Cam, you still—” I try to stand up to meet him but my legs won’t cooperate and the gray edges of my vision are spreading inward and the last thing I register is Jeremy’s face going from concerned to alarmed as my knees give out completely. The floor rushes up to meet me. But Jeremy catches me before I hit the ground, one arm wrapping around my waist, the other cradling my head, and I can hear him saying my name but it sounds distant, muffled, like he’s speaking from the other end of a tunnel. “Cam? Cam, can you hear me?” I try to answer but my mouth won’t cooperate and the darkness is pulling me under and I can’t fight it. “No, no, no, stay with me—” His voice is panicked now and I feel him lowering me to the floor, feel his hand against my cheek. “Cam, come on, open your eyes.” Everything sounds far away—his voice, the rustle of fabric, something clattering to the floor. I think he’s moving me, lifting me, and then there’s something soft beneath me. The couch maybe, or the bed, I can’t tell. “Someone’s coming, okay? I’m calling someone, just hang on—” His voice is shaking and I want to tell him I’m fine, I’m okay, it’s just the stress and the pregnancy and everything crashing down at once, but I can’t make my voice work. “No,” I manage to whisper, forcing my eyes open just enough to see his face hovering above me, pale and terrified. “No doctors. Please. No—” “Cam, you just passed out, I have to call someone—” “No.” I grab his wrist with what little strength I have left. “No doctors. They’ll call Ryan. They’ll tell him. Please, Jeremy. No doctors.” He stares at me and I watch him struggle with it, watch the fear in his eyes war with whatever promise he’s making himself. “Okay,” he says finally. “Okay, no doctors. But you need to tell me what to do. Tell me how to help you.” I close my eyes again because keeping them open is taking too much energy. “Just stay,” I whisper. “Don’t leave.” “I’m not going anywhere,” he says, and I feel his hand close around mine. “I’m right here, Cam. I’m right here.” My ears ring- and everything goes black.“Camille.” Her voice comes through sharp and brittle like broken glass. “Mom, I can explain— there are some things we need to talk about. Things I need to tell you.”“Well I’m listening, Camille. What is it?”I open my mouth but the words stick in my throat.How do I tell her about the pregnancy over the phone?“I just—I need you to understand why I did what I did. It wasn’t some silly fight or me being dramatic. He was—”“Ryan’s mother called me this afternoon,” Mom cuts me off, her voice cooling. “She told me you’re planning to leave him. She said there are some things you need to clarify. What’s going on?”“I already left him, Mom. It’s been over a month. I gave back the ring.”There’s a pause and I hear her inhale sharply.“You gave back a three-carat diamond? Camille, do you have any idea what that ring cost? What kind of message that sends to his family?”“I don’t care what message it se
Jeremy sets his brush down so fast it rolls off the palette and onto the drop cloth.He’s across the room before I can blink, his socked feet sliding slightly on the hardwood, and then he’s on his knees beside the couch with his hands hovering near me like he wants to touch but isn’t sure if he should.“Where?” he asks. “Where did you feel it?”I move one hand lower, pressing against the spot where I think the movement came from. “Here, I think. It’s hard to tell, it’s so—”It happens again right as I’m trying to explain it and my eyes fly wide. “Oh my god. There. It did it again.”Jeremy’s staring at my stomach like if he concentrates hard enough he’ll be able to see through the layers of clothing and skin to watch the baby moving inside.“Can you feel it from the outside?” he asks, his voice tight with barely contained excitement.“I don’t know, I’ve never—I don’t know how this works.”Without thinking, withou
A few days pass and nothing catastrophic happens.No more anonymous texts lighting up my phone in the middle of the night.No more stories about Ryan drunk and breaking things at expensive restaurants.Just quiet, ordinary days where I try to push thoughts of him into a box in the back of my mind and pretend everything is fine.It doesn’t always work.Sometimes I’m washing dishes and my hands go still under the running water because I remember the way Ryan grabbed my wrist at the café.Sometimes I’m folding laundry and I catch myself checking the windows, making sure the locks are turned, listening for footsteps in the hallway that sound too familiar.But mostly I can go hours without thinking about him, can focus on the small ordinary things like what to make for dinner or whether I should finally finish the book I’ve been reading for two weeks.Jeremy helps without even meaning to, just by being here, by filli
I nod against his shoulder. “I used to think Ryan was the best guy I knew,” he says, staring straight ahead at the dark apartment. “Loyal and driven and fun to be around. The kind of friend you could count on for anything, the kind of guy who’d have your back no matter what.” He pauses and I wait, not wanting to interrupt whatever he’s working himself up to saying. “But then I met you,” Jeremy continues, and his voice gets quieter, more careful. “And I started seeing things I didn’t want to see. The way he talked about you when you weren’t in the room, like you were a possession he’d acquired. A trophy he’d won. Something he owned instead of someone he loved.” My chest gets tight and I have to force air through my lungs. “Why didn’t you say anything?” I ask. “Because I told myself it wasn’t my place,” Jeremy says, and I can hear regret th
The next morning I find Jeremy in the kitchen making coffee and the smell of it turns my stomach but I force myself to walk in anyway.He looks up when he hears me and whatever he sees on my face makes him set the coffee pot down immediately.“What happened?”I unlock my phone and hold it out to him without saying anything, my fingers tight around the case.He takes it and I watch his face change as he reads the text from the unknown number, watch the way his mouth goes flat and his eyes go cold reading the message.“That’s not Ryan’s number,” Jeremy says, and his voice is tight.“I know.” I wrap my arms around myself. “He’s using a burner or something. A number I won’t recognize so I’ll answer thinking it’s someone else.”Jeremy hands my phone back to me and holds out his hand again. “Give it here.”“What are you going to do?”“I’m blocking it,” he says, and there’s steel in his voice that I’ve never h
I watch Ryan stare at the velvet box sitting between us on the table and I wait for guilt to hit me, wait to feel bad about hurting him, but there’s nothing.Just relief.Relief that I don’t have to carry this ring around anymore, don’t have to hide it from Jeremy, and don't have to pretend it means something when it stopped meaning anything months ago.Ryan’s hand trembles slightly when he reaches for it and he opens the box, looks at the diamond catching the café lights, and I can see him trying to process this, trying to understand how we got here.“I bought this with my first bonus,” he says quietly, and his voice sounds hollow. “Spent three months’ salary on it because I wanted it to be perfect. Wanted you to show it off to your friends.”“I know,” I say.“And you’re just giving it back? Just like that?”“Just like that.”His hand closes around the ring box and his knuckles go white.“I don’t want
I’m on the phone with Reina telling her about the new bookstore that opened downtown when Doctor Kent walks in carrying a manila folder.“Hey, the doctor just walked in,” I say into the phone. “Let me call you back.”“Okay babe, let me know what she says,” Reina says, and I can hear traffic in the
I’m still in bed when Jeremy comes back three hours later, propped up against the pillows, the plate of toast and scrambled eggs he made me eat sitting empty on the nightstand.“It’s done,” he says, holding up my phone. “Everything’s wiped. I had him do a full factory reset and reinstall everythin
I wake up to the feeling of something cool pressed against my forehead and for a second I don’t know where I am, I don't remember how I got here.The ceiling above me isn’t mine.Neither is the bed.I try to sit up and a hand gently pushes me back down.“Easy,” Jeremy’s voice says from somewhere cl
“Jer! I know you’re home, open up!”Ryan’s fist hammers against the door and the sound tears through the apartment, sharp and demanding.He’s here.Actually here, on the other side of that door, and I don’t understand how this is possible.I didn’t tell anyone I was coming to Jeremy’s—not my parent







