Chapter 5: The Morning After

Pakin’s P.O.V

I woke to the dull light of morning filtering through cheap blinds, the rays cutting across the dim, cramped motel room. My head throbbed faintly, and for a moment, I wasn’t sure where I was.

Then the memories hit me like a freight train. All at once, without mercy.

Cship hia laew! (Holy Shit!)

I sat up too quickly, the scratchy motel sheets tangling around my legs. The room came into focus in all its messy glory: clothes scattered across the floor—my shirt tossed carelessly over a chair, Sean’s jacket draped over the nightstand. The faint scent of cigarette smoke clung to the air, mixing with the unmistakable musk of what we’d done.

My hands trembled as I pressed my palms into my face, trying to steady my racing thoughts. My mind screamed at me, full of guilt, disbelief, and something far more dangerous: the memory of how much I had liked it.

My gaze flicked to the bed, and my stomach churned. Sean was still asleep, sprawled out on his stomach, the sheet barely covering him. His hair was tussled, his face relaxed in a way that felt almost disarming. It was a stark contrast to the man who’d smirked at me, taunted me, challenged me into losing control.

‘What the hell have I done?’

The thought slammed into me like a brick wall. ‘Shia, what have I done?’ I swung my legs off the bed, my bare feet hitting the cold linoleum floor. Every instinct told me to grab my clothes and run, to pretend last night hadn’t happened. But part of me—the same part that had kissed Sean first, that had willingly given in to every daring word and touch—wanted to stay.

That was the worst part of all. Not the mess, not the betrayal of my principles, but the quiet, undeniable truth that a part of me didn’t ‘not’ like it.

And then came the guilt, sharp and bitter, twisting my gut. My best friend, the woman I had loved all these years in secret—May—had trusted me to avenge her honor, and yet I slept with the man that took her virginity away and tossed her aside like trash.

I was supposed to be better than this, supposed to have control. But I let myself be swept up by someone I barely knew, someone who played with my head like it was just another race to win.

My hands shook as I fumbled with my clothes, pulling them on as quickly as my aching body allowed. Every movement sent a sharp, unwelcome reminder of the night before. It was my first time last night, the first time in my life having sex, so my back throbbed now, a dull pain that made walking difficult, but I gritted my teeth and pressed on, forcing my mind to fixate on one thing: getting the hell out of there.

The room was eerily silent except for Sean’s even breathing behind me. I didn’t dare glance back at the bed. I didn’t want to see Sean’s face, didn’t want to risk catching that infuriating smirk or, worse, a softer look that would unravel me even further.

I just had to leave, now, before the weight of what happened could fully sink in.

I grabbed my wallet from the nightstand and bolted for the door, my legs stiff and awkward, but I refused to let myself limp. My pride wouldn’t allow it.

Outside, the morning air was cool and unforgiving. I told myself to breathe deeply, to calm the storm raging inside my chest.

Breathe.

The motel receptionist barely looked up as I handed over the cash for the room, muttering a hurried “Keep the change” before rushing out the door.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that everyone was staring at me, even though the place was mostly deserted. Dammit.

Sliding into the driver’s seat of my Valkyrie, I winced as the pain in my lower back flared again. I adjusted my position, gripping the steering wheel tightly as I stared straight ahead.

My reflection in the rearview mirror caught my eye, and I… almost didn’t recognize myself.

My hair was a mess, my face pale, and my eyes wide with an entire array of emotions I couldn’t even begin to sort through.

But the worst part wasn’t the physical discomfort or the shock. It was the feeling I couldn’t suppress—the lingering warmth in my chest when I thought about last night.

Despite everything, despite the shame clawing at me, despite the guilt and humiliation, hI couldn’t bring myself to hate it.

That terrified me.

For as long as I could remember, my heart had always belonged to May. She was my childhood best friend, the one constant in my life, the person I trusted above all others. Loving her had always felt natural, easy, like breathing.

But now…

Something about last night had cracked that certainty.

The way Sean had looked at me, the way he’d made me feel alive and reckless and wanted—it was something I couldn’t ignore, no matter how much I wanted to.

And that realization made me feel like I was betraying May, like I was betraying myself.

I gritted my teeth and started the car, the engine roaring to life. In a way, I was grateful for the split second of noise and distraction; it kind of drowned the chaos in my mind.

As I drove away from the motel, every mile putting more physical distance between me and what had happened last night, I felt my shoulders ease a little. But the memories still clung to me like shadows.

“I’ll forget it,” I muttered to myself, gripping the wheel tighter. “It was just one night. It didn’t mean anything. It can’t.”

But even as I said it, I knew I was only lying to myself. And that scared me more than anything else.

My Valkyrie rolled to a stop in the grand driveway of my family’s estate, the gravel crunching beneath the tires. The imposing mansion loomed ahead, its pristine white facade bathed in the soft glow of the morning sun.

Normally, coming home would have brought me a sense of calm. I always felt safer when I was at home, on solid ground that I knew.

But today, the knot in my chest only tightened as I climbed out of the car, my  back still protesting every movement.

The front doors swung open before I could reach them, and two of the estate’s servants greeted me with a deep bow.

“Good morning, Your Highness,” one of them said, her tone deferential.

I barely acknowledged them, too preoccupied with keeping my steps steady and my face neutral. The last thing I needed was anyone noticing the strain in my walk or the turmoil in my eyes.

Still, I managed to mutter a quiet, “Thanks,” as I moved past them, already planning to retreat to my room and collapse in private.

But then the older servant spoke up, stopping me in my tracks before my hand could even touch the banister of the staircase. “Your Highness, a guest has been waiting for you,” she said.

I frowned, turning back. “A guest?” I asked, my tone coming out sharper than I intended.

The servant nodded. “She arrived early this morning and insisted on waiting. She’s in the sitting room.”

“She?” I repeated, my heart skipping a beat. I had a sinking suspicion about who it might be, but I shook it off. She couldn’t possibly be here…now of all times, right?

It wasn’t possible…right? Couldn’t she wait for the next day?

Still, my curiosity got the better of me, and I made my way to the sitting room, each step feeling heavier than the last. When I pushed the door open, my suspicions were confirmed.

Because sitting on the couch with her back to me, was none other than…May.