Don't dawdle or hurry. Just act natural, Keep your cool, and stay calm.
People wore that demeanour when they were about to skip Science class and sneak out of school. The school was fenced with a proverbial brick wall, covered with spools of barbed wire, the kind that was certain to cut a person to ribbons if they tried to scale the barricade. What happened between Fiona and me was the calm before the storm. I wasn't stupid enough to wait for the volcano and storms to erupt. I finally reached the famous spot behind the school garden, where Vince and his friends had cut the fence and pulled a few bricks down from the wall. A silver of hope burrowed through my heart when I saw it open and noticed no one was looking. I looked behind one last time at the school building, the garden and the flowers. And my blood boiled silently at all the unhappy memories the Bullies had created in my life. I just wanted the whole school to undergo some down warping and sinking with everyone, starting with Mr Thomas. Was that too much to ask from God? I looked closer to see Vince and his team crossing. They were in a hurry and seemed quite anxious. As the last boy passed through the barbed wire, I stuck my head in and looked at them hopefully. " What are you doing here?" One of the guys asked, annoyed. "Let's go. We are going to get caught. That girl is full of bad luck," came another irritated voice. He said it so vehemently that I began to wonder if it was true or just hatred for me. "Hey, please hold the fence down for me; I promise I'll go my way after this," I tried to plead with the world's greatest bastards. " You think we can help you?" Brian mocked, laughing slowly. " I told you, she is a real wacko with several screws loose," Vince finally gave the closing comment, the way he always did. I saw the cold hint of a smile covering his lips as he winked at his friends. What could be so funny that I missed was my head inside the barbed wire. " I'll hold it for you," he finally said. It sounded like a plan. Maybe it wasn't. It was me with trust issues. He bent down and pulled the fence up with some pliers that he was holding. This seemed so wrong but so right at the same time. Sneaking out of school was right, but Vince holding the fence was wrong. A locket fell from his neck and dangled in the air, glittering as it caught the light from the afternoon sunshine. As soon as I was halfway through the fence, my head and hands were on the other side, and my legs were inside the school. He let go of the fence and moved to the other side to tighten the wire. " No, please," I cried as the sharp barbed wire painfully sunk into the skin on my arms, and hot unbidden tears filled my eyes. I watched as he twisted the wire again to make it tight, and the wire sunk into my back, piercing my skin in a clean line. " What did I ever do to you," I asked in tears. At least someone had to have a reason to invest all this energy and hate on me. " This is for Fionah," Brian whispered in my ear," You thought we would let you go?" " To us, you are a stranger; if you fell off the earth, we wouldn't care." " You lecherous old fart," I roared on his face. I looked at Vince and noticed he was watching silently, not revealing any emotion, his face neutral. " That's Fatrez, sobber up," Brian said as he dragged him away. **** " Well look what we have here," Came the principal's voice. My bottom and legs were stuck inside the school, and my head was on the other side. I was sure my stocking was torn. It was such a sorry sight, with blood dripping down my arms. After helping me out, he took me to the school nurse and kept quiet on our way there. I kept quiet as the nurse stitched my back and arms, not betraying any emotion, be it pain or sadness. This was my last day in school, and I was going to stay strong till the end. After that, I followed the principal to his office. Panic rose up my throat, but I swallowed it down and let it settle on the pitch of my stomach. As we passed the classes, students stood up to look at us through the window, wondering what on earth I did. For the principal to be seen escorting someone to his office meant they were dangerous. " I didn't try to burn the laboratory or kill my Maths teacher, all I wanted was to be free," I shouted at them mentally. " The Flowers, do you think they are beautiful?" He finally spoke." Yes they are," I answered calmly, assuming a poker face not giving away any feelings. " Huh, I thought you were dumb or couldn't speak." He said. He was trying to get into my head and find a chunk in my armour ( weak point). We arrived at the office and found my Father's car parked in front. So he was here. I looked in to find my stepmother standing inside the office. There was no pung of regret inside me as I looked at her. Her skin stretched tightly over the bones of her face, and she waved her hands in the air as if swatting a bothersome insect. " Shall we start," the principal announced, signalling us to take a seat? After being filled on my impending adventures, she turned to look at me, and I looked straight ahead, staying calm and betraying no emotions. As if that wasn't enough, I locked all the words they were saying out of my head and went on a daydream with my eyes open. All I could see were their lips moving, but my ears couldn't get the words. Finally tired of the sight, I stood up and smiled at them as I started going out. " You little miscreation, where do you think you are going?" My stepmother stood up, furious. That was it; each person has a certain store of patience, and the whole world, including her, had snapped mine into half, just broken clean through it. I got out and banged the door, making sure the windows rattled after me.A person can never go through life waiting for happiness, you have to make your own, for there is nothing stronger and better like a good memory. “Your eyes make you beautiful, but your lips do more than that, you are a beautiful creation. One that took a few more hours to be made, I would say the creator had some free time to spare during that time,’’ he whispered the words in my ear in a slurry base, that was seductive and enticing. “Are you sure, are my eyes that beautiful,’’ I asked more confused than ever. We kept on having normal and sugar sweet conversations at the top of the stairs, the bully has a heart. I moved towards the room I was supposed to sleep in and he followed behind, helping me, making sure I didn’t fall. I pushed the door open and slid into bed before he pulled out the covers and made sure I was neatly tucked in. “You are such a good soul, what demons always take over you every day, what really happens?’’ I asked slowly as I felt sleep taking a toll on me.
I pushed the large window to open fully and watched as he jumped in with a loud thud. ‘‘Be silent, someone is going to hear you,’’ I warned in a whisper as I suppressed a little girls giggle. It felt I was torn between leaving my window open so the bully could witness everything. He always made sure he gave me lessons at love with his little conquests every day, by leaving his window open, and putting the lights on so could watch every little detail, every single step as they kissed with him lifting his small whores against and doing all kinds of stuff to them. like I was cheating on him, so I pulled the window closed and turned around. ‘‘Heeeeeeey,’’ he greeted again as he pulled me into a warm hug. ‘‘Heey, ‘’ I greeted back as I hugged him too. ‘‘You smell so nice,’’ he commented as he pulled me closer to inhale his masculine scent. ‘‘Your cologne is also awesome,’’ I complemented, ‘‘What is it called?’’ I asked even though was sure that I would forget the name as soon as he
I mouthed an awful goodnight to everyone at the table and didn’t stay behind long enough to hear wherever they would, say. I was just done with humanity and everything about them. ‘‘Don’t forget about tomorrow, its along day,’’ my papa screamed as hr shouted goodnight too. IO smiled and nodded my head before taking the flight of stairs towards my room. I got in closed the door and laid on the floor flat, with my head facing the wall. This room was my safe place, it was one of the only places in the world where I felt whole, The ceiling board was familiar as usual, the normal designs, the walls boring as ever. Boring and me always belonged in the same sentence, my life was boring, terribly boring, nothing about it could spark or raise eyebrows, it wasn’t even spiced up a little. I closed my eyes and just lay there for almost an hour, I wanted to feel nothing, I wanted to be numb to emotion, immune to love or hurt. I didn’t want to be human anymore. My headache was getting even w
‘‘Beauty is all around you, all you have to do is open your eyes and see it’’ Dinner was boring as usual; it was just the sound of forks and spoons clinking on the plate as we all savored whatever was left inside our plates. The only time I ever felt alive was when I was eating. Food made me feel whole, it made feel like looking up to the next meal. There was a conversation going on around me, I made myself immune to whatever was being said, I blocked the words from reaching my ears. I had already given up, died inside a long time ago, the only thing I was doing right now was feeling up my body. I did not have a soul. I focused on the sounds the fork and knife made as it hit my plate and objectified my food as I became totally absent from everything that was happening around me. A hand tapped my shoulder and I gasped loudly in shock. ‘‘Sorry, but are you okay?’’ It was my step mama again, what was she even trying to do, by being good to me out of the blue. ‘‘I am fine,’’ I repli
Every day, people ask if you are okay. A random stranger inside the bus pretends to care and ask if you are fine, because your palms are sweating, or your lips trembling, from your struggle with anxiety. But most of the time, no one does, its pretense. The moment I got into the house, I wish I didn’t, they all seemed to be in a happy mood, happy for no good reason and I feared they might want me to join them and perhaps, perhaps I wouldn’t be able to, lest they notice that my spirit has given up. ‘‘Hellooooo,’’ my father greeted as he stood up to come and say hi. I was really uncomfortable and he knew, I wasn’t up for all the happy merry, the high vibes, I wanted it low and quiet, I didn’t want anyone to recognize me. That’s how a child grows up when their mother abandons them, it’s the only way for them to cope up, you lay low and lock up all your feelings in a cage, you become numb, because feelings are useless, humans abuse them all the time, you better not have them. ‘‘Hey pa
I literally rolled my eyes at the phrase, it was one of the most common things I had heard in school everywhere, despite the fact that I didn’t have much friends. That was so ordinary, it was a common phrase to tell a girl, it could get someone arrested. ‘‘ Girl, now you have standards about what to be done and what not to be done, and yet just recently you didn’t have a chance?’’ my conscience screamed at me after detecting what I had just done. ‘‘That is so lovely, oooouh,’’ I let out a fake mona as I struggled so hard not to laugh or do anything. God, I am evil too, kill me , punish me, make me repent. I laughed inwardly. I was currently doing well, experiencing a series of absolute highs that I couldn’t comprehends. What did I do to deserve all this. Would he have been heart broken if at all I had done it, if at all I had succeeded in taking away my life yesterday, perhaps he would have, perhaps he wouldn’t have. ‘‘ I think I like you,’’ he blurted out. ‘‘ What ?’’ I asked