TAHIMIK LANG KAMI ni Deon habang binabaybay namin ang daan papuntang kabilang canteen. I just took him with me after he bid his farewell to Richelle. Napaamang tuloy iyong huli habang nagsisimula na kaming maglakad palayo sa kanya. I felt guilty for using Deon but not bad for taking him away from Richelle. She was already acting possessive over him, and I do not like what I was seeing.
Bumagal ang paglalakad ko nang matanto kong hindi rin naman makabubuti ang intensyon ko kay Deon. Nilukob ako ng pagsisisi ng mga sandaling iyon pero kailangan kong panindigan ang desisyon at hakbang na ginawa ko. Alam na alam kong pagsisisihan ko ito balang araw. I often watched this kind of drama on television, but it never occurred to me that it will happen to me also.
“I’m sorry…” usal ko nang kaming dalawa na lamang at malayo na sa kaninuman.
“Magre-review kasi sana kayo ni Richelle. Naistorbo ko
IT WAS HARD to shun away persistent people in your life and to stop destiny from working just so you two would not become too close. Habang tumatagal ay lalo kaming nagiging mas malapit sa isa’t isa ni Deon. Nakabuntot din kasi ako sa kanya lagi dahil sa kasunduan namin ni Ruby Lane. Pero kung minsan ay sumusulpot din naman siya sa mga sandaling hindi ko inaasahan o kung kailangan ko nang makakasama pero wala si Chadleen. In those times, I found out that Deon was more than his pretty face. He was not the type of man I initially assumed him to be. He was not just a good catch but a great one – maalalahanin, maasikaso, matulungin, at mabait. I never had an ideal guy but when I met and got to know him more, I pictured it to be him.“The hell…” sambit ko nang matanto ko kung ano ang mga iniisip ko.I sound as if I like him, and I find it totally absurd! Binagsak ko ang likod ko sa malabot kong pink Chanel bed at saka tumitig
I PASSED RUBY Lane’s test, that’s why she did not bother me for the following weeks. I felt guilty for using Deon, but I was also honestly happy being with him that I really think… “Pagod ka na ba?” he asked when he came back to me in the bleachers after their training. He was sweaty but he did not smell bad. Akala ko ay imposibleng mangyari iyon pero may mga tao pala talagang hindi maamoy kahit na pawisan. Maybe because they were used to working out a lot. Kumikinang iyong kayumanggi niyang balat ngayon habang tinatamaan nang halos papalubog nang sikat ng araw. I could not deny that I loved it. That feature really suited him and had added more to his appeal. “Baleleng?” he called me again to take me out of my musings. “Ha?” “Pagod ka na ba?” nag-aalalang tanong niya. Mabilis naman akong umiling. Chadleen was not with me today. She was noticeably busy these days. Kahit si Felix ay habol na rin nang habol sa kanya dahil
WEARING MY POWDER blue off-shoulder top that was neatly tucked in my high-waist denim midi skirt with a small slit and a pair of white Gucci sneakers, Chadleen and I graced the hall of our state college. I side-twisted my half-ponytailed hair and carried with me my white YSL chain sling shoulder bag. As usual, all attention was fixed on me. What’s new, anyway?“Chadleen, pwede ba tayong mag-usap?”Hindi pa kami nakakapasok ni Chadleen sa classroom namin ay mukhang inaabangan na siya ni Felix na noong una ay nakasandal lamang sa pader sa labas ng classroom namin at halukipkip. Nabuwag lamang iyon nang matanaw niya kaming papalapit saka umayos din siya nang tayo. He looked stressed and tired as I observed. I glanced at my cousin. She seemed serious as she slowly nodded her head. May problema ba ‘tong dalawang ‘to?“Mag-uusap lang kami ni Felix, insan,” paalam niya sa akin.“I will just go to t
WE WERE HAVING our dinner when daddy opened up about something. He seemed to be in a good mood today. Actually, daddy and I shared the same attitude – ma-attitude. Tito Khalil and Chadleen, on the other hand, complimented each other. Masyadong seryoso at strikto si tito samantalang si Chadleen naman ay mahinhin at masunurin.“Everyone’s having a hard time these days, aren’t we?”Nauna namang umiling si Mignonette sa amin.“According to Confucius, life is simple, but we tend to make it complicated.”Napakunot naman ang noo ko sa kapatid ko. “Why do you sound like Chadleen now?”“I got to read one of Ate Chadleen’s books, ate. They were interesting!”“But you’re too young for that. You should be reading children’s stories.”“Elphie and Hermione got bored with the children’s stories. Guess, I have to level up. They
MAGKAKASAMA KAMI NGAYONG apat nina Felix, Chadleen, at Deon sa iisang lamesa sa isa sa mga karinderya sa labas ng state college namin at nanananghalian. Until now, I was still wondering if Chadleen told Felix about the relationship deal we had with Ruby Lane. Hanggang ngayon kasi rin ay mukhang clueless pa rin si Deon, and that all the more added guilt to my conscience. I love Deon, and we should not hurt the ones we love, right? Well, I guess I fucked up big time. This was so not fetch!“Masama ba ang pakiramdam mo?” Deon asked, his voice was laced with concern as his hand rested protectively at the small of my back.Maagap naman akong umiling.“E, problema? May problema ka ba?”“Marami, gusto mo isa-isahin ko?”He chuckled at my retort and then nodded as he smiled at me.“Sige, makikinig ako.”Sa halip na ngumiti ay napasimangot lang ako lalo. Kapag ganito kabait si De
YOU KNEW YOU were with the right people when they bring out the best in you. They will help you do the right thing even if you do not want to. Argh… I just hate being good sometimes. How does Chadleen and Deon (not Felix, of course, I knew that guy had some little evil residue inside) be and do good all the time?“Ge, we need to help her,” Chadleen repeated in a whisper, but I remained stubborn and just kept crossing my arms over my chest.She wanted us to help Ruby Lane na hawak no’ng holdaper ngayon at tinututukan ng patalim sa leeg habang sakay kami ng jeep pauwi. Kaming tatlo lang at iyong drayber saka holdaper ang nasa loob.Nakakatawa ngang kahit ganito na ang sitwasyon namin ngayon ay parang gusto ko pa ring hugutin iyong cellphone ko at kuhanan ng video iyong takot na takot na mukha ni Ruby Lane at sabihan pa iyong holdaper na, ‘more’ and ‘manong, ilapit niyo pa iyong kutsilyo&rsquo
I ALREADY WOKE up yet I still could not get myself to stand up and get out of my room. Wala pa rin kaming imikan ni Chadleen since kagabi pa at kahit na nakauwi na kami. Nakakatakot kasi siyang lapitan. Mukhang wala talaga siya sa mood at sa sarili niya. Maybe it was really true that the kindest people were also the scariest people.Alam kong may hindi at ayaw siyang sabihin sa akin kaso ay ramdam ko ring may bagay na bumabagabag sa kanya. Natitiyak kong kung anuman iyon ay napakalaki no’n kaya gano’n na lamang kung makapag-react si Chadleen. Sobrang bait no’ng pinsan ko, e. Bihira lang siyang magkaganito lalo na kung… talagang nasagad na siya. Pero ano nga ba ang dahilan at bakit nasagad na si Chad?While lying face down, I tried reaching for my phone atop my bedside table. Humiga ako pagkakuha ko no’n at agad na tinipa ang numero ng boyfriend ko at dinayal iyon. It did not take him a minute to answer my call.&ld
WE WERE CURRENTLY at the place where we were having our retreat. Bilang simula ay nagkaroon kami ng groupings for a certain activity. Chadleen and I were not still on good terms. I mean, I am still on good terms with her. We were civil with each other, but she was… unusually quiet, short-tempered, and withdrawn.Nagulat din ako kanina kasi nagkainitan nang sobra silang dalawa ni Ruby Lane sa laro. Mabuti na lang at naawat naman namin agad iyon. ISTG, that was the first time I saw her that easily pissed at pumatol pa talaga. It was shocking because that was my usual doings and not hers. Kaya nga natulala lang ako habang inaawat na sila ng mga kasama namin. I could not help but wonder on what really happened that night when I was out of mind. Before we saw the fugly creature that time, Chadleen was so protective of Ruby Lane and was always making sure to include her in the safe zone. Right now, parang gusto niya na lang itong kalbuhin at ipakain doon sa