CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

GWEN POV

I sat in my car, my hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles were white. I could feel anger and deep shame burned inside me. I felt like such a fool for coming here—to Nolan’s big, fancy corporate office—just to try and talk to him.

I had already decided to raise this baby all by myself. But then, I went to the doctor. We talked about possible health problems for the baby, things that could cost a fortune I simply didn't have. Because of that, I had to think about telling Nolan.

I was sure he would be furious. He would say cruel things. And he would definitely, absolutely demand that I keep the baby’s father a secret from everyone, especially April. But maybe, just maybe, he would offer some financial help if I needed it badly.

I couldn't lie, though. A tiny, stupid part of me hoped he would be different this time. That he would actually want to be a father to our child. That he would even want me. It was a joke how foolish that hope was, especially after the last time I saw him. That man desired me physically, but that desire also seemed to make him angry.

Why I still cared for him, why I still missed him, made no sense at all. I guess I was wishing for the sweet, kind Nolan I thought I knew. But I knew that wasn’t who he truly was.

I called in sick to my student teaching job, looked up Nolan’s corporate address online, and drove straight here.

I managed to get up to his office floor. But his secretary stopped me. She was a woman who looked like she could freeze the sun with her glare. I understood that her job was to protect Nolan and keep people away. And yes, I didn’t have an appointment.

But her attitude was terrible. It went way past just telling me I couldn't see him. Her eyes slowly moved over my body, and her mouth twisted into something that looked like pure disgust. I wasn’t dressed in my best clothes, but I certainly wasn’t wearing dirty, smelly clothes either.

"It’s good that you want to take care of your health," she said, her voice dripping with coldness. "But Mr. Douglas is not a fitness trainer. You should go to one of the gyms instead."

I frowned, looking down at myself. Her words and her expression made it clear she thought I was fat. "I'm not here about a gym membership," I said, trying to stay calm. "I need to see—"

She stood up. Her eyes felt like sharp pins, and I felt a strong urge to just disappear. "No appointment," she cut me off sharply. "No visit."

I quickly looked at the door to Nolan's office. Could I make a run for it? She was tall and slim, but her tight pencil skirt would slow her down if she tried to catch me.

"He isn't even here," she lied easily. "If you don't leave right now, I will be forced to call security."

Maybe this was a sign. Maybe I needed to do exactly what Nolan had told me to do: stay the heck away from him.

I lifted my chin, trying to look strong, and walked away, getting into the elevator to go back to the ground floor. By the time I reached my car, I couldn't decide if I felt more shame or rage. I settled on both. She was a cold, arrogant woman, so I guess it made perfect sense that she worked for Nolan.

I started my car and pulled onto the street. The road I took brought me right in front of Nolan’s building again. As I slowed down for a red light, I saw April walk up to the building's door and go inside. She was clearly there to visit her father.

I saw an empty parking spot nearby and quickly pulled into it. I needed to wait and watch for her to come out. I didn't want to talk to her, but I needed to know if that horrible secretary had been lying. After about fifteen minutes, when April still hadn't appeared, I knew the truth. Nolan was in his office.

I drove away and headed to the public library, where I tutored students after school. It was still early, but I decided to use the time to read everything I could find about pregnancy, possible problems, and how to have the healthiest baby possible.

I decided that one thing I would never do was ask Nolan for help.

But even as I thought it, I knew it wasn't completely true. This wasn't just about me anymore. If my baby needed help—if there was a serious medical issue—I would absolutely ask Nolan for money. And if that happened, I wouldn't care if anyone found out about me and him. My child’s health was the most important thing.

But until that happened, I was determined to raise this child alone. That was what Nolan wanted anyway. It was the only way I could honor his request to stay away from him.

I spent the whole afternoon reading at the library. Then, I met with my two students—one for statistics and one for math. Afterward, I drove home, stopping at the grocery store for dinner. I got myself a big salad with lots of vegetables, chicken, and hard-boiled eggs. For my dad, I loaded up on a little bit of everything from the hot food bar: chicken wings, barbecue ribs, potato salad, and green beans. There would probably be enough left for his lunch tomorrow.

As I drove up to my house, I saw a car parked on the street. As I passed it to pull into my own driveway, I realized it was April's car.

Panic shot through me. Why was she here? It wasn't hard to find me, but why now? I had been gone for almost a month.

For a moment, I just sat in my car, thinking about driving away again. But I wasn't a coward. I took a deep breath, grabbed the food and my book bag, and walked up to the house.

I opened the door quietly and peeked in. My dad was sitting in his favorite armchair, and April was on the couch. They were both in the middle of a big, happy laugh.

As I stepped inside, my dad looked up. "Well, speak of the devil," he said with a grin.

I looked at April. I wondered how she would react. She had every right to be angry about the way I just left without a word. But April was one of those people who never held a grudge for long.

She stood up and looked at me. "I want to be mad at you, Gweneth, for what you did," she said, but her face was smiling. "But I'm honestly just too happy to see you."

She rushed over and gave me a massive, enthusiastic hug. "I am so sorry I wasn't here for you. No wonder you ran off! I was such a horrible friend. Here you were, dealing with an unexpected pregnancy. And I didn't even know you were seeing anyone! That's how completely useless a friend I am."

I shot a sharp look at my father. Why did he tell her I was pregnant? He gave me a sheepish smile and a little shrug, like, What could I do?

April pulled back from the hug but held my hands. "Will you ever forgive me?"

My emotions were all over the place. But I couldn't deny how good it felt to see her, to be around her energy that was always so positive, even in a bad situation.

I nodded. “There's nothing to forgive, April. I didn't leave because you were a bad friend. I just really needed to get away and be by myself for a while." I didn't know how to say anything more.

She took my hand and pulled me toward the couch. I put the food bags on the coffee table.

"So, is the baby's daddy Aaron?" she asked as she tugged me down to sit beside her. She looked at me with a strange expression. It was almost like she hoped it wasn't Aaron. Then she shook her head quickly. "Wait, it couldn't be Aaron, right? I mean, on New Year's when I found you in the bathroom—was that morning sickness? Even though it was at night? I don't think you knew Aaron until after that night."

I'd always been amused by how April could have an entire conversation with herself, answering all her own questions before I even had a chance to speak.

"It's not Aaron," I confirmed. "It's not anyone you know."

"It's not anyone anyone knows," my father chimed in from his chair, earning him another angry glare from me.

April focused back on me. "Well, I can help you find him if you want to. Or maybe you don't want to find him. But no matter what you decide, I’m here for you. And listen to me—if the baby daddy does show up, and he ever hurts you or messes with you, I will make his life a complete misery. I promise you that."

I looked at her kind, fierce face, and the words just tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. My eyes darted to my father, who was still smiling.

“April,” I whispered, my voice barely steady. “You can’t make his life a misery.”

"Oh, yes I can! Just give me his name! If he's already being a jerk—"

"He's not being a jerk," I interrupted, shaking my head. "It's just complicated.”

“Complicated, just tell me, and we might be able to help!”

“It's your father."