"Cailen, I- I'm-" Asher started just as the door to the toilets flew open and two loud men stumbled through, talking to each other but loud enough for the whole pub to hear."Oh, man you should’ve been there, dude," one of them said to the other, slapping his friend on the shoulder. The other grinned back at him as they made their way to do their business. "The look on her face was priceless!"Asher sighed as he eyed the two men, his mouth pressing closed because there was no way he was going to confess now.With a glance over his shoulder, maybe it was a glare, Cailen lead Asher out into the hall. But instead of going to join the boys, he pulled Asher down the hall where they met a dead end and they were alone."Go on," Cailen encouraged.He wanted Asher to be able to trust him. Asher had been there for him when he needed him and he wanted to be there for him too.

 Cailen decided not to dwell on anything for too long.It never helped and it only made more people worry about him.So Cailen ignored the way he'd rather just lay in bed than go hang out with the boys.He ignored the way it feel like a chore to smile most of the time. He ignored all the urges that had him wanting to escape, to just be alone with himself so he didn't have to pretend like he was okay, so he didn't have to act like another person.He loved his family and he loved his friends. That's why he was doing what he was doing. But he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to live in a world where he could be himself- his true self and not have to worry about losing the people he cared about.He wondered what it would be like to talk to William about boys, or even Stella since she'd probably be a little more interested.He wondered what it would be like to bring a guy home on Christmas to me

 "No," Cailen answered, looking into his lap where his fingers began fiddling with each other."Okay," Asher said simply, crawling over the bed to sit by him. "You don't have to talk, but can I?" He asked."Something bothering you?" Cailen asked, feeling a little guilty.Everyone's been so concerned with him, himself included, that he never bothered to check in on Asher once in a while."No, not- Well, sort of... I guess," Asher answered, leaning back against the headboard of the bed.The thing with Asher is that Cailen constantly have to remind himself how to act around him. Right now, he wanted to hug Asher, maybe kiss him until the frown on his face disappeared and assure him that whatever it was, was going to be okay.But that's not what friend's do, not really."What is it?" Cailen encouraged, squelching the urge to reach out to him."W

 As Cailen sat on his bed, he couldn't help but wonder if Asher was okay.He seemed pretty upset when he left and it wasn't like him to make excuses to not hang out with them. He didn't know what was going on between him and William. Maybe William knew something Cailen didn't or maybe William thought there was something to know, just like he thought there was with him, but he really had no idea.Cailen didn't understand why William was trying to interfere the way he was. He didn't understand why Matthew and Noah were trying to help him either.There was a lot he didn't understand right now but he really only had one concern at the moment.Digging into his pocket, Cailen pulled out his phone and opened the messenger app, scrolling to Asher's name and typing out a quick message to see if he was okay.He only hesitated for a second when he thought that maybe Asher was u

 "...Clingy, you know?" Cailen heard Asher's voice come into earshot as he descended the staircase.Noah must have called him over when he was in the shower. He wasn't planning on eavesdropping, he was planning on going right in but then he heard his name and he just kind of stopped outside the kitchen."Cai won't- I mean, like- I don't know," Asher sighed and even though he couldn't see him or who he was talking to, he could imagine Asher shaking his head in frustration. "No one likes clingy, Wil," Asher continued.He wasn't sure what was worse.The fact that Asher was talking about him behind his back or that he was talking to William about him behind his back."True... Maybe just distance yourself?" William suggested.Cailen could feel something bubbling inside him, though he couldn't put a name on it.Betrayal, maybe. Hurt could definitely be used t