Alle Kapitel von Rule Number One: My Brother's Best Friend : Kapitel 111 – Kapitel 120

Sean gives me permission to be gone for a full weekend, seeing as how it's my last date. He seems a bit nervous about it, but I think he can tell I need it, so after a few tense minutes, he agrees. I follow Jason's instructions exactly, packing nothing and bringing only my handbag with my wallet, mobile phone and passport. On Saturday morning -- the first Saturday of April -- I get a taxi and arrive at St Pancras right at 9:55.At the station, I wait for Jason to arrive. The excitement is so palpable that I don't even feel guilty about going away for a weekend with my ex. I have no idea what to expect. Jason didn't want to have sex last time, but this time, things seem more serious between us. And we're spending two nights together. How will we be able to resist each other for a whole weekend?For a moment, I allow myself to wonder how sex will change things. That's all that the Weekend Club was supposed to be about -- sex. But with Jason, this is about feelings, and those are turning

I don't say anything for a moment. I'm too annoyed and sad and disappointed to speak. Jason has put me up on a pedestal: he thinks that just because we feel passionately about each other now, that it will last forever. But I know how relationships work; I know how passion works. We feel passionate about each other precisely because we haven't been together all these years. It has imbued our relationship with tension and loss, given it a will-they-won't-they arc, made it more romantic. There is no safety or security. And that's not what he wants; not really. Because safety and security, while important and necessary in many ways, are the death of passion.That's why the Weekend Club works so well. It allows couples to keep their safety and security while also experiencing the tension and fear of new passion."You would get bored," I say after a long moment. "And it would be all the worse because you hadn't expected it. And then you'd leave me, and I'd be heartbroken in a way from which

I wake up on Friday morning, a couple of days after I deleted the app, with my stomach stirring with nausea. I make it to the bathroom just in time to throw up, and by the time I stagger out again, Sean is waiting for me, looking concerned. I lift a hand to get him away from me."Don't come too close," I warn. "I've got some kind of stomach bug, I don't want to give it to you and Donnie.""Do you want me to get you anything?" He asks. I shake my head as I crawl back into bed."I just want to rest for a little bit. I'll call out sick to work."I curl up in bed and feel sorry for myself the rest of the day, reassuring myself that I'm going to be fine tomorrow. But before I can so much as make myself a morning coffee, the nausea hits me again, and I am bent over the toilet bringing up everything I ate the night before.It doesn't make sense, I think, as I clean myself up. Donnie and Sean are both fine, so why would this stomach bug have hit just me...?I figure that I can take the weeken

I didn't know this, and it's impressive. More than that, though, I'm intrigued by the life he wants to build with me: one where nothing is predictable. Nothing is routine. It's a far cry from the life I have with Sean. Not a bad life, of course, but maybe just not the one I want anymore.But then the guilt comes. I can't just jet off all over the world, not with a five-year-old son. Nor does it seem fair to abandon Sean simply because he doesn't want this kind of life.Or is that exactly why I should leave him? Because even though I do love him, deep down, and have shared so much with him, we no longer want the same things?"I know you need to think about things," Jason continues. "Although I do hope, no matter what you decide to do, that I can be involved in this child's life.""Of course," I say, and I mean it: I'm not about to keep my child from its father. Although I still haven't decided if I'm keeping it.His eyes bore into mine, and I know he knows exactly what I'm thinking abo

The horror of it all washes through me again, and I feel like I am going to be sick. Combined with the morning sickness, I'm surprised that I don't vomit all over my desk. Instead, as I stare at the self-satisfied, vindictive smirk on Julie's face, I am filled with a rage I have never felt before.Rage at Julie, for making my work life a living hell these past few years, and now inserting herself into my private life as well. Rage at Sean, for fucking the woman who humiliates me on a daily basis, for knowing how much of a betrayal that would be. And most of all, rage at myself, for getting myself into this situation.For pushing away my husband. For driving him into Julie's arms. For falling out of love with him.Because that, I realise, as I stare into Julie's eyes, is the problem: it's not about Jason, it's not about Julie, and it's not about the Weekend Club. It's about the fact that as much as I loved Sean once, that love is no longer there. And I have been looking for every way o