Semua Bab Drowning in the Ocean of Love: Bab 1 - Bab 10

10 Bab

Chapter 1

I lay on the cold hospital bed, clutching my stomach as sharp waves of pain tore through me. I could feel the life I had longed for inside of me slipping away.My husband, Gabriel Carlisle was right beside me, his forehead drenched in sweat. "Draw as much blood as you need, doctor! Don't worry about hurting her body. I'll make sure she's taken care of."His words struck my heart like crushing weights. So, he was willing to sacrifice me for his childhood friend, Lucia Fairchild. This revelation cut me open from the inside.Even my ex, Raphael Carlisle, who was usually calm and composed, had a grim look in his eyes. "Please, doctor. My wife is still in the ICU waiting for the cord blood to save her life!"The doctor looked at me, who was heavily pregnant and covered in blood, and hesitated. "The baby is already far enough along. If we give it our all, we might be able to save both the mother and child. As for the cord blood, we could contact another hospital and find a way to have it

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Chapter 2

When I was finally able to force my heavy eyelids open, the first thing I saw was a white ceiling.My body ached as if I had been run over by a truck. The pain was unbearable, especially in my abdomen.Instinctively, I reached for it, only to discover that the bump that had once been there was now gone. I felt a hollow ache within, like I was missing a piece of myself."Darling, you're awake!" Gabriel, who had been lying by my side, abruptly lifted his head, his eyes bloodshot. I turned away, refusing to look at the fake, tender expression of his."Our baby didn't make it," he said quietly, carrying a hint of sorrow in his eyes. "But thank God you're fine! I didn't lose you. Cheer up. We can try for another child once you recover!"Bitterness rose in my throat as I wondered if my child was only meant to be medicine for Lucia. I shook my head, a dull ache spreading through every fiber of my being. Gabriel tried to coax me as he always did, plastering a smile on his face. "You m

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Chapter 3

Raphael was always busy with work, so Gabriel took it upon himself to look after me and Lucia. He bought me a bunch of new clothes and handbags as he promised, "Don't take it the wrong way. It's not that I don't love you anymore; it's just that Raphael can't step away from work right now. Plus, he doesn't trust anyone else to take care of Lucia. You understand, don't you?"When I didn't answer, he wrapped his arm around my waist, his warm breath brushing against my neck. "Come on, don't be mad at me. In a couple of days, I'll take you to church to pray for your safety and well-being." What he didn't know was that I wasn't angry; I was just numb. I had already died on the night that my child was taken from me. Every word he said now felt like a feather brushing past me, unable to stir even the slightest ripple in my heart. …The day we went to church, Lucia and Raphael came along as well.The path to the church went through a steep mountain path, so Raphael kept close to Lucia

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Chapter 4

We lit our candles, and Gabriel lowered his head as he prayed. I teasingly asked, "So, what did you pray for?"His eyes crinkled as he pressed his forehead against mine. "That you'll love me forever."My gaze dimmed, and I turned away, placing my candle at the altar. Only I knew that I'd never be able to love him for the rest of my life, not after learning he'd killed our child. The car accident had shattered the bone in my calf, so standing too long always left me with a dull ache. Suddenly, the pain flared up again, and it was sharp enough to make me gasp.Gabriel's face tightened with worry. "What's wrong, darling?" However, before I could answer, a shrill ringtone cut me off. "What did you just say? I'll be right there!" His hand trembled as he hung up. "Lucia just fainted. Raphael and I need to rush her to the hospital. Go home without me."Before I could say a word, he hurried off to the chapel. I was rooted to the spot, watching his figure disappear into the crow

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Chapter 5

Gabriel's eyes widened in surprise. He froze for a second before reaching out to touch my hair. "You can't be serious, darling. I never even agreed to what Mom wanted!"All at once, I felt so tired. I shook my head. "I mean it. I don't love you anymore. I want a divorce."Caroline's eyes crinkled into a smile, and she waved me off. "I'm glad you know your place. Now, get out!"My lashes fluttered. Swallowing the bitterness in my chest, I slipped off Gabriel's coat. Nothing in this house was ever mine to begin with. "You don't have to throw me out. I can leave on my own," I said. I had barely stepped outside when Gabriel caught up, his face dark as he seized my wrist. His words came out strained. "Do you have to be this upset just because I left you behind today? Lucia fainted. It was an emergency!"Pain shot through my calf, and it took everything I had not to collapse before him. I looked at his handsome face, wanting nothing more than to rip away his ridiculous mask.He ha

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Chapter 6

Kathleen gave me a roof over my head and looked after me like a mother would their daughter, wrapping me in warmth. She said, "Don't worry. Even if he refuses to sign the divorce agreement, I'll make sure you get your death certificate. When the time comes, I'll give you some money to go abroad and start over."When she noticed my confusion, she smiled. "Your parents helped me back when they were alive.""I see." I accepted the glass of warm water she handed me and curled up under the covers.…The next day, as soon as word of my divorce from Gabriel spread, Lucia asked me out. At a café, her cheeks were glowing, and a smile lit up her face. She passed me an ultrasound report, revealing that she was seven weeks pregnant. I thought of my own child, abandoned all alone in a trash bin. I felt a knife stab into my heart, crushing my spirit. "I'm pregnant with Raphael's child, and I have you to thank for it!" Lucia said with a malicious smile. I couldn't follow, so I stared at

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Chapter 7

The footage from the café was uploaded online by a passerby.As a public figure, Gabriel's actions caused quite a stir. He was disqualified from competing for a Designer of the Year award. Meanwhile, Raphael's company stocks kept tanking.…One day, Raphael showed up at the law firm where I worked and said he wanted to take me back to where we first met after I got off work. After I had left Gabriel, I threw myself passionately back into my beloved work since I no longer had to rely on anyone.Raphael's eyes were a lot like Gabriel's, full of tenderness, no matter who he looked at."Do you also think I'm being unreasonable? That I'm nothing but a jinx?" I inquired.His suit was wrinkled, and dark circles hung under his eyes. It was obvious he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep in days.Yet, his tone was still gentle. "No. I've never thought that. We're the ones who have wronged you."His words made my eyes sting, but I refused to let him see me vulnerable. "What do you want from m

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Chapter 8

"Darling, are you alright?" Gabriel's face was etched with worry, as if he was truly afraid Raphael might hurt me. I pushed his hand away and said coldly, "Don't touch me and don't call me darling. It makes me sick!"Gabriel turned his head, his dark fringe veiling the vulnerability in his gaze. "Don't push me away. I love you!"He spun around to face Raphael, keeping me safe behind him, and snapped at Raphael. "What's your deal, Raphael? Lucia's pregnant, yet you still came after Pheebs."Raphael clutched his swollen cheek and pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "You've gotten the wrong idea. I only came to tell her to leave."Gabriel froze for a second before turning his head to look at me. "Did you agree to leave?"I didn't answer. Nausea rose in me as I stared at his fictitious act of devotion.Raphael sighed, wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, and patted Gabriel on the shoulder. "You two should talk it out. I don't want to make this any uglier."A

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Chapter 9

After I closed the door, I collapsed to the floor and broke down in tears. Having cried my heart out, I curled up on the cold tiles, trembling with sobs.The last notes of my broken cries faded into the silence. It was as if my entire heart had been ripped apart and left bleeding.At that moment, I couldn't see a future ahead of me. All I felt was the weight of suffocation.Gabriel didn't leave. His voice, choked with emotion, came through the door. "Please don't cry… It hurts me to see you like this."Perhaps he had loved me, I thought. But it didn't matter now. We had already reached the point of no return.Rain lashed down at midnight, yet Gabriel was still outside. He didn't have an umbrella, and he didn't seek shelter from the rain. He just stood stubbornly in the storm.I looked at his soaked figure through the peephole. He had been just as drenched the day he pulled me out of the ocean. Even so, I held firm and didn't let him inside. Eventually, he collapsed. I heard the

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Chapter 10

The sight of the soft clouds drifting across the sky outside the window made my heart soften a little. The curtain had finally fallen on the complicated bond I shared with Raphael and Gabriel. Yet, I still wanted them to spend the rest of their lives drowning in guilt.Kathleen had issued my death certificate, declaring that I died from a relapse of depression. I had taken my own life by slitting my wrist and died from excessive blood loss.I wanted them to know that it was their selfishness and cruelty that led me to my death. I would make sure they spent the rest of their days tormented, never at ease.…In the days that followed, I lived a peaceful and steady life abroad.A year later, I returned home to visit my parents' graves. It was raining heavily the day I went to the cemetery.Gabriel was sprawled in front of their tombstones, reeking of alcohol, looking utterly broken and defeated. Not even the downpour drenching him to the bone could rouse him.I walked over with m

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