Semua Bab Belongs To Me : Bab 21 - Bab 30

My life was on an endless downward spiral of shit. Further into the depths of nothingness. No light, no hope, no 'better tomorrow'.It's never been better.But sometimes I wanted to lie to myself and try to pretend that everything was fine. Just like today when I went to the campfire on the lake beach outside of town because of Tracy Hemmil. Tracy, who liked to call herself Trix, was a ferocious metalhead and impressed me from the first moment I laid eyes on her. Short black hair, smoky gray eyes and a mysterious smile.I must have been really interested in the secret, because it made me walk all the way from town to here among my classmates from Trinity High School, whom I despised for the most part.But right now I had no idea if it was worth it.We dropped in a bit further from the beach where the main party was going on and got lost in the darkness of the nearby forest, although we could still hear the voices of our classmates and loud music in the form of Doomed by Bring Me The H

Even before I left for work that Monday, I cried a lot at home. Everything that had happened between me and Ollie had left a strange open wound in me that kept bleeding and reminding me… and I had no idea how exactly to get rid of it. There was a sense of guilt mixed in because my mind clearly told me that it was wrong. We shouldn't have kissed, we shouldn't have seen each other, we shouldn't have been so intimate with each other. Because I was happily married until Friday the 14th of September, and now everything went to shit.I hurt David and probably permanently damaged our relationship. He had a right to be mad at me and he had a right to ask me not to see Ollie anymore. But I was already mentally broken and the fact that he wanted me to completely change my wardrobe and change my appearance really didn't help me.6I spent a good half hour at the closet, deciding what I should wear to make it suitable. He could come to me anytime at work and I didn't want him to be disappointed ag

"Ollie, are you finally going to tell me where we're going?" Tate called from the passenger seat for the umpteenth time this afternoon. She had a black blindfold on, which I carefully tested against the sun before driving off to make sure she wouldn't see nothing at all I needed to make sure it would really be a surprise.What I could no longer watch were her hands. I was afraid that it wouldn't last and that somewhere along the way he would take it away. But she didn't do that, and I was probably pleased with the trust she put in me.But apparently she couldn't forgive those questions. She probably knew that I would smile at each of them and feel satisfied with myself and the world around me."You know I won't tell you. Never, even if you torture me," I stated steadfastly.At that moment, her palm fluttered through the air and found my thigh. “Do you want to test me?” she poked me as she ran her hand up and down and then squeezed.I straightened up a little in my seat and gripped the

I was probably a little glad that David and I wouldn't see each other for a few days. During Tuesday and Wednesday we only exchanged a few messages on Facebook and I had time to think. Because ever since that Monday morning when I had that first conversation with him about the future of our relationship, I was restless, nervous, and unsure. I kept going over and over his whole stance on my transgression in my head and just couldn't decide if he was entitled to it or not.I'd rather not mention my doubts or the fact that I wasn't able to sleep with David to June, because she would definitely draw some conclusions from it. And that certainly wouldn't help me at all.But it was nice that the guys from the band came to see her and somehow we got over the whole awkward meeting on Monday. Both Zack and Chad had found their own place to live, and Matt was starting to see things too. Every time I saw them enter the cafe, I held my breath and waited.But Ollie didn't come.It bothered me that

From the very morning I was like on thorns.I constantly read our night conversation with Ollie and especially the last message that came at the moment when I fell asleep on the phone. I couldn't write him back. Not in the daylight, when it all seemed so much more real.After breakfast, I spent a lot of time at the wardrobe, choosing from the few clothes I had reserved for events with David. I had to buy a few pieces because of theater visits and parties at his parents' house. Since I didn't want anything really flashy for shopping, I ended up with tights, a black sheath skirt, and a white blouse... and pumps.After only five minutes I had the feeling that I would probably jump out of my skin from those rags.I texted David asking if he would go upstairs, but he only replied that he would wait outside. So in five or ten I was walking in front of the house and looking out for his SUV. Fortunately, it didn't take him long because he was punctual.I got into the car in the passenger seat