جميع فصول : الفصل -الفصل 60

The moment I stepped out of that mall, it felt like the world closed in on me all over again, only this time it was worse because I saw her, I saw them, and for the first time in two years, the reality I’ve been running from stood right in front of me, breathing, living… and belonging to someone else’s world.I shouldn’t have let her walk away again.I shouldn’t have stood there like a man who had already lost.But the way she looked at me cold, distant, filled with something that used to be love but now felt like nothing more than quiet hatred froze me in place, and I hated that, I hated myself for it, because I’m not supposed to hesitate, not in business, not in war… and definitely not when it comes to her.“You look like shit.”Anna’s voice broke through my thoughts as she leaned against the car, arms crossed, watching me like she always does too observant, too calm, like she already knows everything I’m about to say before I even say it.“Not now,” I muttered, opening the door but

“Lora… what about Jian?” tanong ko ulit, mas mahina na ngayon ang boses ko dahil sa paraan ng pag-aalangan niya ay parang may kung anong hindi niya masabi nang diretso, at iyon mismo ang mas nakakapagpalala sa pakiramdam ko, dahil mas natatakot ako sa mga salitang pinipiling itago kaysa sa mga salitang malinaw na sinasabi.Napabuntong-hininga siya nang malalim, saka umiling na parang kinokontra ang sarili niyang iniisip, bago muling tumingin sa akin na may halong pag-aalala at pag-iingat.“I’m not saying anything bad about him, okay?” sabi niya agad, seryoso ang tono, “in fact, kung may pipiliin akong lalaki para sayo right now, siya yung pinaka okay… stable, patient, maalaga, hindi ka paiiyakin, hindi ka iiwan…”Napakurap ako.“Then bakit ganyan ka magsalita?” tanong ko, bahagyang kumunot ang noo ko.“Because I know you,” sagot niya agad, walang pag-aalinlangan, “and I know na kapag nasasaktan ka, you tend to hold on to the person who makes you feel safe… kahit hindi mo pa totally al

I didn’t expect the silence to feel this loud.After everything I told her after finally tearing down the walls I built with my own hands I thought something would change immediately, even just a little, even just enough for her to look at me differently, but instead… she walked away carrying the same distance in her eyes, only now it was heavier, more complicated, because she knew the truth and still chose not to come back.And somehow… that hurt more than her hatred ever did.I stood outside her house again, just like the countless nights before, hidden in the shadows like a stranger with no right to be there, watching the lights through the window, watching the silhouettes move inside, and even without hearing a single word, I could already tell who was there.Him.Of course he was there.Jian Li Chen.The man who had everything I should have been.The man who didn’t have to lie.The man who didn’t have to break her just to keep her alive.My jaw tightened as I watched him from afa

Hindi ko alam kung kailan nagsimula yung pakiramdam na kailangan ko siyang harapin ulit, hindi bilang galit na asawa, hindi bilang babaeng nasaktan, kundi bilang ako yung taong pagod na sa mga tanong, sa mga “what if,” sa mga bagay na hindi natapos nang maayos, dahil kahit anong pilit kong mag-move forward, kahit gaano ko pa subukang ituon ang sarili ko sa mga anak ko at sa tahimik na buhay na meron ako ngayon, may bahagi pa rin sa akin na hindi matahimik dahil may kulang isang pagtatapos na hindi ko pa binibigay sa sarili ko.Kaya nang makita ko ang mensahe niya simple lang, walang drama, walang pilit, “Can we talk? One last time.” hindi ko na iyon inignore tulad ng dati, hindi dahil handa na akong patawarin siya, kundi dahil handa na akong matapos ito nang maayos.“Sigurado ka?” tanong ni Lora habang nakasandal sa kitchen counter, nakatingin sa akin na parang sinusubukang basahin kung ano na naman ang tumatakbo sa isip ko.“I’m not going there to get back with him,” sagot ko agad, d

Hindi ko alam kung kailan naging ganito ka-magulo ang puso ko, yung tipong kahit tahimik ang paligid ay parang may dalawang boses na sabay na nagsasalita sa loob ko, isa na pilit akong hinihila pabalik sa nakaraan, sa mga alaala, sa mga bagay na kahit masakit ay totoo, at isa naman na dahan-dahang nagtuturo sa akin kung paano manatili sa kasalukuyan, kung saan may katahimikan, may seguridad, at may taong handang samahan ako kahit hindi ko pa kayang magbigay ng sagot.Lumipas ang ilang buwan matapos ang usapan namin ni Alex, at sa kabila ng lahat, hindi siya naging mapilit, hindi siya basta sumusulpot kung saan ako naroon, hindi niya ako kinukulit araw-araw tulad ng dati, pero ramdam ko pa rin siya sa maliliit na bagay, sa mga hindi halata, sa mga pagkakataong parang may nagbabantay sa akin kahit wala naman akong nakikita.At iyon ang mas nakakabahala.Dahil kilala ko siya.At kapag tahimik si Alex…ibig sabihin may nangyayari.“Dera, you’re spacing out again,” sabi ni Jian, mahinahon a