Dont Call Me Stepmom

‘Don’t Call Me Stepmom’ is a modern take on the classic villainess reincarnation story, currently serializing on Tapas. It was initially released under the title of ‘Don’t Call Me Stepmom’ and is now a popular comic adaptation on the platform. On Tapas, chapters are made available for premium readers using coins, but each day there are also a number of free unlocks available. The official translation is very fast and the artwork is also great at portraying the elegant but suffering main character. Updates for the comic are generally fairly consistent, although I sometimes find out what happens next by reading spoiler-filled novel summaries on certain forums online. Reading it legally on the Tapas app or website is always your best bet – occasionally Tapas runs events in which you can earn free coins by logging in or reading other comics.

Some libraries now offer digital Tapas through services like Hoopla – check your local library to see if they offer it for free with your library card!

I recommended this to a friend who is a blended family therapist. She said the character relationships were very accurate. All of the ways that jealousy can play out, the various loyalty binds that form, the many ways that families test each other’s boundaries and have accidents that negatively affect each other were all covered. It was painful to read at times, but also helped me to understand some things that I hadn’t quite gotten before. For example, Anna trying to make dinner that the kids’ other mom used to make was disastrous. Leo getting angry with Anna for trying to discipline Sora was also very real. Hiroshi trying to go shopping and not knowing what brand of juice to get because he’d never done it before was also very real. All of the main characters are case studies in non-biological family integration. So, it’s not just a good story. It’s also very insightful to read for someone who is interested in family dynamics.

I'm taking a chance here and suggesting 'A Little Romance' (1979). It's about two young teenagers who set off to Venice. An older man is their guide for the two of them. While this isn't a stepmom, it has the intergenerational feelings of a mentor/special guide to two young teens falling in love. This is, after all, a movie about a forbidden love that is also guided. Many stepmoms function as a first safe guide into the sex love of a teenager, plus often is forbidden at first too.

I am therefore associating the ‘stepmom’ figure with the archetype of the ‘initiator’. Stories featuring initiation, mentorship and first love/s set within unusual social contexts will all hit some of the same notes as this trope, even if they don’t literally feature a step-parent. Looking for examples of ‘An Education’ or ‘Mona Lisa Smile’ (note that the latter’s teacher-student relationships are purely inspirational, and not romantic in any way) might therefore prove fruitful.

I also try to find stories where the step-parent is just as lost as the kids in order to defy the thousands of years of fairy tales’ depiction of the stepmother as the default evil person. Modern films try to undo this perception, but it is hard to get rid of the shadow of the evil stepmother.

'Once Were Warriors' is another brutal, unflinching film from New Zealand - and in this one the central violence is between the parents, with the children's suffering and the total failure of both parents to create a safe, loving home the core of the movie. As a counter-balance to many of the fairly positive step-parent relationships portrayed in movies today, 'Once Were Warriors' is a necessary and very tough film to watch. 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape' is a slightly gentler take on life with an incapacitated mother and her children - including teenage Gilbert - having to raise her. The new woman in Gilbert's life promises him a chance to escape from his familial responsibilities to care for his mother and return to his carefree adolescence - but she also represents a threat to his duties as a parent to his mother.

There’s a great set of parents in ‘Easy A’ of the main character, but then there’s the side-story of her best friend. Her best friend has an annoying little brother. He’s being raised by his two gay dads. Again, this is handled amazingly well in ‘Easy A’, and it’s normalized for a teen-comedy in a really progressive way. The step-parents are just parents in this movie. They’re really great.

This is stretching it a bit, but Richie Tenenbaum’s deeply troubled relationship with his adopted sister, Margot, in The Royal Tenenbaums could be classified as romantic. He loves her and it destroys him. Although Margot is not the stepmother of Richie, it is another example of love trespassing family boundaries. I perceive this in a very different way than I would in a more serious dramatic film, than in a wacky and offbeat comedy, and than in a perverted and seedy thriller. Perhaps the visual style of a film has a lot to do with perceiving such relationships in a particular way.