Bright Lights
Our butler, Cal Pinkham, was determined to marry his daughter off to some rich young heir and have him take her family name.
So, when my nearsighted son, Christopher Settle, who was working on his PhD, accidentally glanced at his daughter one too many times, Cal somehow convinced himself that Christopher had fallen for her.
His daughter was forty, unemployed, and still needed her food blown cool and spoon-fed to her at meals. Even so, Cal kept trying to parade her in front of me like a prize whenever the opportunity presented itself.
“Becky looks like the cutest little piglet when she eats. She’s absolutely adorable. I took pictures. Here, take a look. You wouldn’t understand the joy of having a daughter, not when you only have a son. These days, daughters are the ones who actually show up for their parents when they get old.
“But don’t you worry. As long as your son takes my family’s last name, gives us a $100,000 wedding gift, and agrees that their children must have our last name too, I’ll even let my precious little girl look after you in your golden years too.”
I shoved his hand away in disgust and immediately called the agency to find me a reliable replacement butler.
Before I could find a suitable replacement, the $15,000 designer necklace I had bought for Christopher suddenly went missing.
I confronted Cal about it.
He answered without a hint of guilt. “Oh, I took it. We’re practically family now. Anything you buy for Christopher will belong to Becky sooner or later anyway. I just cashed it in early and used the money to buy your future daughter-in-law a car, so she won’t have to ride around on that scooter anymore in the rain or cold. Christopher would never stand for seeing her like that.”
He waggled his eyebrows at me, teasing as if we were sharing some private joke. I was so furious I nearly saw red. “Who cares about that overgrown pig you call a daughter?”
Then, I picked up my phone and called the police.