Actually Funny Jokes For Adults

I just closed a deal worth 50 million. The room did its job, so I went to the reception to check out, and I got myself a bottle of water worth 2 dollars. That very same day, I got an email from the company accusing me of misusing company funds. They canceled three months' worth of KPI from my records and fined me 5,000 dollars. I ignored that, thinking that it was a mistake some new guy in finance made. When I went to work the next day, my access card was denied. It was canceled. I couldn't even get into the building. Furious, I called my CEO fiance, but his secretary took the call instead. "How many times do I have to tell you to follow the rules when it comes to money? Did you tell finance about that bottle of water? No? Then that's against the rules! Everyone else follows the rules, so why can't you? You're a veteran!" The CEO chimed in, "Christina, you're a veteran of the company. You must be an example. You're not allowed back to work until you finish your 8000-word reflection and read it out loud at the all-employee meeting!" They tossed the phone aside, and a moment later, moans of delight and passion traveled through the air. Stone-faced, I hung up and called our competitor's CEO. "I've got a 50-million-dollar deal and a sales manager who just got fired for you. Are you taking that deal?"

Lenore Reed has been harboring a secret crush on Trent Knight, a successful billionaire, since their first encounter. However, she faces a difficult decision of whether to confess her growing feelings or keep them hidden. Adding to her challenges are Yvonne and her father, who have caused her to lose her father's inheritance to the Donovan family. Lenore must work hard to regain her father's assets which were sold off to the Donovan's. Will Lenore be able to achieve her goals? What choice will she make regarding Trent? Will she be able to break free from Yvonne's hold on her? And most importantly, will she uncover the hidden secrets of her family?

Winter Stevens is a college student visiting her mom for the holidays and for her mom's wedding. She plans to move home from Georgia back to West Virginia after her break-up. Winter is witty and not afraid to speak her mind, especially when it comes to a certain she-wolf. Blake Conners is the future Alpha of the Snowstorm Pack who hasn't found his mate yet. Until he meets Winter. Blake's wolf, Shadow, is already in love with Winter the moment they meet and Blake matches Shadow's love. Blake learns of Winter's family history after following her one day where he will learn of the auburn hair girl who captured his heart as a pup. Secrets will unravel and truths will be told as Winter is confronted by a jealous she-wolf. Will Winter accept Blake once she learns the truth about herself? Dear Readers, I love reading stories of werewolves so I wanted to try my hand at writing a novel. This is not your typical “abused omega” wolf story. I hope you fall in love with the characters as much as I have. I am still currently in the process of writing so please bear with me. My goal is to upload a chapter or two everyday. Please show your support by commenting and sending gifts. Thank you for giving my story a chance <3

Alexander Morrison doesn't love me, nor does he love our daughter. The only person he loves is his first love, Charlotte Clarke. To maintain his perfect image in Charlotte's eyes, he only allows our daughter to call him "Uncle Alex". This continues until Charlotte becomes pregnant and goes abroad to marry someone else. Alexander drinks himself into oblivion and finally decides to marry me. When he comes home, our daughter gives him 100 forgiveness coupons. I tell him that once those 100 coupons are used up, I'll take our daughter and leave him forever. He holds us both tightly in his arms, swearing he will never make us sad again. During the initial few years of our secret marriage, he indeed does exceptionally well, as not a single coupon is used. That is, until Charlotte returns to the country with her daughter. Every time he abandons me and our daughter for Charlotte and her child, I tear off one forgiveness coupon. Now, only three coupons remain.

Alessia realizes that forcing marriage with the only man she loved was her greatest mistake when Thompson, her husband, returns with his fated mate. Even after bearing his child, Thompson's indifference remained. He uses Alessia solely to maintain his reputation. Fate decides to cast a faint hue of light into Alessia’s bleak existence as she's unconsciously drawn to Lycan Cyril, the enigmatic Lycan king whose deadly aura awakens dormant existence. But is this really fate granting her salvation or the other way around? Especially when Lycan Cyril's obsession ignites upon discovering Alessia possessed the rare feature he searched his whole life for? And when Thompson becomes resistant to relinquishing his hold on Alessia?

Liam is a young selfmade multimillionaire who has never wanted a lasting relationship with a woman. All that matters is keeping his business stable. Then he meets Ariana, a sweet yet innocent girl. Despite the fact that their first meeting is not the most graceful one, she manages to drill into his heart slowly by slowly until he can't stay away from her. Pleasing a Billionaire is not easy, especially if he doesn't want anything to do with love or having a lasting relationship. Will Aria be able to convince him otherwise? Do you think Liam will adjust his preferences and end up letting Aria own his heart or will it only be for the pleasure?

This isn't a fairytale. Mirror Mirror on the wall. A fairytale that became her fall. “Over my dead body will I let a man whore father my child. You're in every way incapable, irresponsible and definitely incompetent of becoming a father.” She said with a smile. "Stop acting like a saint, you're not one. You're only pregnant because you're a slut yourself, so what exactly is the difference between you and me?” She stepped up to him with a mocking smile. “Maybe, I'll show him pictures.” Anger flared up inside him. Who the fuck does she think she is? “Show him pictures!?" His fingers grabbed her throat. His eyes held hers. She didn't flinch, instead, a small smile played on her lips. Crazy ass bitch. He isn't used to being challenged. “I don't need to beg you for anything.” He growled. "You have no other option.” She scoffed. "I have a lot of options, Kim.” He continued. "I can take him away from you after birth,” “I want to see you try.” The smile on his face told her otherwise. “What will you do? Take me to court? Fight for custody?” He chuckled. “I can bribe the whole fucking court.” Her heart skipped a beat. No. "You don't get to decide.” He lit a cigarette. "Everything will go my way.” "It'll not!” “Maybe I'll show him your pictures. Or let you visit him once a week, who knows?" He shrugged. “This is my child!" She screamed, tears welled up in her eyes. “So it's either you do as I say, or I'll do as I please." “What do you want?" Hot tears rolled down her cheeks. “Where I come, illegitimate children aren't accepted in the family." “I'm not marrying you!" “I'll never marry you!" She screamed. "You have no choice..”

Just because my wolf mom scratched Ava Shaw's favorite dress, Noah Potter called a butcher. He punished her seriously. I found her dying body and screamed at him. "I told you before—I was raised by wolves. What you did to her is no different from killing my mother!" Noah stayed cold. He covered Ava's eyes and stared at me. "You are just a stray kid my stepmom picked up. Stop trying to fool me." My wolf mom was still bleeding as she dragged herself toward me. I crawled to her and held her tight. "I stayed here to repay Noah's family for helping the wolf pack. You chased me for miles because you could not let me go. I never thought I would end up hurting you instead." That night, I held my wolf mom and knelt in front of Aunt Wendy's memorial. "Aunt Wendy, the Potters' Zoo are everywhere now. They do not need my gift anymore. I should leave."

"What is the use of living when you don't remember me.", Emily said in a trembling voice standing on the roof top ready to jump down. "Don't be stupid and come down at once don't force me to punish you on my wedding day Emily" Abhay said in a dominating voice. ....... It's a story of a sweet girl Emily Roy who was in love with with Abhay Mehra. They were in love but Abhay lost his memory and started loving Emily's half sister Mia Roy. Emily was going to take her life as she was going to lose Abhay from her life. Will Abhay remember Emily and their love or will he let her die? Will he save her or.....?

WARNING: 18+ ONLY‼️ Dearest Reader, The pleasurable act of sinning never felt so good. LMW presents to you a collection of all the sins you never had the courage to commit…. This book is an exotic collection of 30 different erotic stories of irresistible steam, passionate romance, ecstasy, and a salacious manifestation of your darkest desires. There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable, get ready to wet yourselves, dream, desire for more like I did and have fun! Lila Monroe Williams