Actually Funny Jokes

The night of my first shift at eighteen, my two older brothers brought home a twelve-year-old orphaned Omega. My alpha brother seized the rare healing herb I'd spent all my savings on—herbs meant to ease my first transformation—and gave them to her instead. "You're strong enough," he growled. "You don't need such precious herbs." My beta brother snarled with fury, pointing toward the door. "Get out! Don't come back!" I said nothing more, just grabbed my packed bag and left. They assumed I was merely throwing a tantrum, that I'd return in a few days. My brothers, finally free of my presence, took the orphan girl on an international vacation to the Caribbean islands I'd always dreamed of visiting. Many days later, when they returned to the pack, they were shocked to discover I'd accepted an offer from the neighboring pack's Head Healer. The position required fifteen years of isolated herbal research. I could never return home. That night, they fell apart.

Two different lives with one pact! ... Telemarketer at Panda Health Tea company, Selene Brooke works out most of her stress in the boiler room to push memories of her past and overcome her cheating ex boyfriend, to prove herself worthy and perfect than her co-worker Michelle, in the eyes of her boss, Corby Cox. What Selene didn't know was that proving her worth and perfection was going to land her in a whole lot of trouble, an assignment to get an investor of RR enterprise owned by a famous Italian billonaire. Fabrico Zunino Valenquez. A man who was also trying to overcome his past by so doing, not willing his heart to love again. Their meeting is on business terms but Selene finds herself agreeing to the Pact that Fabrico was willing to offer her. No holds barred sex, no strings attached and no commitment. But how long can that last before they fall in too deep, denying the pact and longing for more. What happens when they realise their pact was actually based on love?

Pelican Bay Security is full of hot former Navy SEALS, a small costal town in Maine (with a crime problem), and a group of Bakery Girls waiting to cause trouble. When I moved here to set up a new security company as a fugitive recovery specialist, I didn’t plan to find my next-door neighbor breaking into her aunt’s house. I also didn’t expect the random henchmen harassing her for diamonds she insists she doesn’t have.Tabitha is running from an ex-boyfriend, and I desperately want to help. As a former Navy SEAL I have the skills to deal with almost any idiot willing to give his girlfriend a black eye. Her lies, drama, and ex-boyfriend catch up with her and it may not be something I can handle on my own. I just hope if things turn violent, we both come out alive.A fun, humorous romantic suspense series from USA Today bestselling author, Megan Matthews!#explicit #Suggested age 18+Pelican Bay Security is created by Megan Matthews, an eGlobal Creative Publishing Signed Author.

Don’t trust anyone, not even yourself….You think you know someone pretty well, until you’re awoken in the middle of the night to the sound of unfamiliar voices and realize your sister’s being swept away by some supernatural creatures who climb in and out of windows and leap from two-story houses like it’s nothing.My parents tried to tell me everything was fine, but when Cadence finally did come back from wherever they’d taken her, I knew there was something unusual about my older sister.Now, her best friend is dead.Her ex-boyfriend is acting bizarre.And I’m afraid I might be next.My name is Cassidy Findley, and I’m pretty sure my sister is a vampire, despite her “co-worker” making every effort to brainwash me into believing otherwise. With the help of my two best friends, we vow to get to the bottom of this before it’s too late, and my sister starts to claim other victims. I love her, but I won’t be turned, nor will I just sit by without doing everything I can to stop her. I can only hope that I’m not too late and that I can trust my own memories.Because I’m pretty sure my sister’s friends are coming for me next.The Chronicles of Cassidy is a retelling of The Clandestine Saga specifically for young adult/teen readers told from the perspective of high schooler Cassidy Findley.

Everyone wants to be me. Who wouldn't? I've got the looks, sexy body, money and Andrew Maru Ottave, my husband.But if they will only knew who I really am and what's happening in my life, I doubt that they want to be in my place. Since I was a child, I don't have a right to choose the person I want to be with, because my parents already arranged it for me.Its not actually a new thing with the elite. Because even my parents is a product of an arrange marriage. They marry for business and have a child for business. And just like my mom I will just also be a business wife.

Lucy Everhart's bitch of a sister lures her into a trap, but it turns out the man she's forced to spend a night with is actually a bigwig in the business world! They have a shotgun marriage after signing a marriage contract. After marriage, Lucy's secret identities are revealed one after another. Tobias Ripley learns something new about her daily and dotes on her like crazy. He says, "Let's have another child, honey." Lucy doesn't want that. "You have countless mistresses and lovers, don't you? Go to them if you want a child!" Tobias protests, "Nonsense! I have no idea what you're talking about, honey! You've always been my one and only!"

"You are fucking mine .only i have right to kiss those plump lips . I fucking own your soul. Somia is only Haris's ." Saying this he smashed his lips to mine "Jaana . I might be a playboy back . But its my first kiss . You know according to me lip and forehead kiss is just a symbol of love but I accept it today" saying this he again smashed his lips to mine ................................. "How many kids you want in future?" My eyes widened at her question. Is she for real. "Ooooooo!! you are blushing at the name of kids . So cute!" saying this she pulled my cheeks and suddenly kissed me on my cheeks.She looked down getting embarrassed by her act . She did this unknowingly. I was shocked. .............. She came forward but suddenly she tripped by her dress but I caught her . Our eyes got locked and it seems like the world around us stopped . She fit perfectly in my arms. I can feel her accelerated heart beat. Her rosy lips were the first thing which was making me hard in my pants.Her smell was super intoxicating. ................. We have always heard that there are 6 identical individuals of a person. Is it true? Lets see!! It is always said that opposite attracts. Somia a young girl living in the city of saints, belongs to a middle class family. She is financially helping her father to make the both ends meet. A sweet bubbly self-made girl who knows how to deal with this cruel world. But what happens when she unknowingly falls for a cold hearted devil. Haris a cold hearted devil having several night stands . Love is not his cup of coffee. Join the journey of two opposite natured persons to know what happens when they cross their paths.

“You can’t love me!” I snapped, tears blurring his handsome face. “Why?” Asher demanded, looking appalled. “Because I betrayed you…” I whispered, my heart breaking apart. “Because I came here to…destroy you.” What happens when the man you were sent to destroy turns out to be your mate and the love of your life? 25 years old Ivy never expected her beautiful life to turn into her darkest nightmare by a man named Alpha Killian Price. After destroying her pack and killing her entire family, except for her father, Killian has an offer for Ivy that could help her piece her life together again. But that offer comes at a price Ivy wasn’t ready to pay. Killian wanted her to destroy GrayCrest, the most powerful pack in the country, in exchange for her father’s life. But how could Ivy destroy the pack whose Alpha was her mate and the love of her life? Her father or her mate…there was a choice Ivy needed to make. But the stakes were too high and time was running out fast. Can Ivy make the right choice before the most brutal war in history claims innocent lives and destroys hundreds of packs in its wake? Sizzling, passionate, funny, and full of unexpected twists and actions… witness a story that will take your breath away!

Ariana Belle was the typical quiet girl. She was the weak link in the ferocious Crimson Pack. She was shunned by everyone except for two people, her sister and her bestfriend. But her life changed when she turned 16 and was forced to go to a pack party, her family hoping for her to find her beloved mate. She didn't expect to actually find him. She didn't expect for him to be the future Alpha. She didn't expect to sleep with him. She didn't expect him to reject her for the packs strongest she-wolf. Most of all she didn't expect to end up with two little surprises, causing her to move to Florida with her mother. But after she's forced to go back to her pack after four years what's going to happen to her and her two little angels ? Is the feared Alpha going to find out about his children? Will he fight for them or reject them like he rejected Ariana?

Just when things took turn for the worst. Emma Millers got her happily ever after, when Xavier Powers, a man she had saved from death, gave her a new opportunity for life. A nice job and a brand new furnished house to start a fresh with her family.