Actually Funny Jokes

Pinning me against the wall, he gripped my jaw and growled, “You are mine, Ember.” His hand closed around my throat tightly before he whispered venomously, “Mine to break. Mine to destroy. As long as you are here, you are at my mercy.” A devilish smirk touched his lips as he said playfully, “And I am NEVER letting you go, my mate.” ============== All her life, Ember has worked hard to be the next Queen of the South but her life turns upside down when she finds out that she is the mate of the ruthless Alpha of the North, the bloodthirsty enemy of the South. Angry at fate, Ember vows to fight this forbidden mate bond. Alpha Nicholus, on the other hand, is disgusted to find out that the daughter of his worst enemy is actually his fated mate. But in his quest to become the most powerful King, he decides to bow down to fate but when his rebellious mate disagrees, he doesn’t hesitate to unleash his ruthless demons to get what he wants.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, that couldn’t be more true in a free for all world where shifters have been forced to live out in the open. Assimilating into human life doesn’t bode well for most but those with means are still able to live their lives as they see fit. The Reznikov's, one of the most powerful mafia families in the world, have a dirty little secret that’s contributed to their success: they are werewolves. When the boss, Alexander buys a pup to turn into a fighter, he gets far more from the boy. He’s a blank canvas eager to learn the family business. Aleksey is feared by humans and werewolves alike, but he truly seeks the one thing that most werewolves are no longer guaranteed; a true fated mate. Emilia actually meets Aleksey when they are young teens, but they are unaware of just what their connection is. After losing her family and the only life she’s ever known, fate intervenes to put Aleksey in her path for a second time. Emilia quickly takes to her new life as the mate of a high ranking mafioso, shocking everyone including herself. Their love is intense and passionate, but there are many who try and test their resolve, including those in their own family who will stop at nothing to be on top. The story goes on to follow Aleksey's sister and then his best friend as they try to find love.

"A week ago, if you had told me that the world as I knew it was all a lie, that all of the fairy tales that my father used to tell me at bed time were actually not fairy tales and that all these supernatural beings, such as vampires, shapeshifters, fairies and dragons, were actually real, I would have laughed at you until I had peed myself and then called the men in white coats to come and get you. Now, a week later, as I am in the middle of a forest standing by the most beautiful lake I have ever seen, surrounded by wolves in various sizes and colours, and a number of very large, very muscular and very, very naked men, I am starting to think that maybe it is I, who is in need of the straight jacket and padded room and a hell of a lot of medication and sedatives as i am pretty certain i have completely lost the use of all my faculties and you are soon going to find me sat in a corner, rocking back and forth and talking to myself as none of this is making any sense to my primitive brain." Kari Has grown up alone, Her father disappeared when she was 5 and her mother killed herself when she was 8. After a string of Foster homes, she finds her self working as a Research Scientist where her boss and Best Friend sends her to Norway to work for The Nordic Research Corporation. When she gets there she finds that she is in for a shock. Not only does she find out she does have a family, but everything she ever knew is going to change. Her life becomes more complicated than she could ever have thought it would.

If you are going to be BAD, then you have to do it the BAD way... It's pretty simple: 1) Don't get caught 2) Always have a Plan B 3) If all else fails... Run...Run for your life! Everyone has a bad side. Some try to deny it's existence, some hide it and others well...they rule the world with it. In the book of being BAD, there are ninety-nine formulas for world domination... Number one: You aren't BAD until you can walk around the school dressed in all pink and have everyone afraid to approach you. Number two: You aren't BAD until you can break into a certain bad boys house and well... do the wrong kinds of stuff. Number three: You aren't bad until quite frankly, you have declared vengeance against the bad boy. ~*~ "I heard you like bad boys," Blade says with a vivid smirk on his face. I glared up at him, without responding clenching my fists fighting the urge to punch him in the face. "So...?" He says after a couple of seconds of silence. "So what?" "So what do you think...Tinker Bell?" He says emphasizing on the stupid name. His face moved closer to mine and I stared back into his green eyes, watching the fire inside ignite. I smirked, "Then find me one." Blade grins at my witty retort and shrugs it off. "I look at you and I see cotton candy, but then you open your mouth... and suddenly you turn into liquorice," he scoffs. "Welcome to the game bitch, your move, now let's play."

"Why are you angry?" I asked him. "It's not like we're a couple." He stopped, and stared at me, boring my eyes with his emerald eyes. "If we are…" He paused, clenching his jaw, "then am I allowed to be angry?” I looked at him like he was insane. “Then we'll take it to that level." He continued. "I'm serious. I want you.” Leizel Snow Garcia Waterstrings is not just fierce. She's more than that. Ending up as an ice cream worker in a local ice cream shop, it was her one step of becoming a strong and independent woman. And that's when a cold-hearted stranger came in view. Eion Aurelio Hudson. Out of seven billion people in the world, the two hard-headed people crossed paths, making her "strong and independent woman" facade slowly fall apart. With all the dramas, free food, forgotten birthdays, Robot handling, idiots around, and emotional crisis, will she be able to melt his winter heart with her blazing fire or will this fire be put away instantly? ``` ``` One Blazing Head. One Winter Heart. Two Hard-headed people. A huge disaster. (Book 1 of Hearts Series but can be read as standalone)

Kat Donovan is at the lowest point of her life: she didn't get her promotion, she's never dated a decent man ever, and she's pretty sure she just spent a few thousand bucks drowning her sorrows in a Vegas strip club.The cherry on top? It's also the last day of her life.Death's at her door, figuratively and literally. One of Hell's Punishers is coming to take her away, to an afterlife full of torture and torment. But of course, with the help of some miracles and her ever-steady fighting spirit, she manages to escape its sneaky clutches.And that's how Kat discovers that the Punisher is not anywhere close to what she thought it is.First off, the Punisher is actually the most drop-dead gorgeous guy Kat's ever seen. Two, the 'miracles' that saved her life are not miracles, but clues to the mystery of her origin, to which the Punisher holds the answers. Three, due to some unfortunate events, their paths are now intertwined—for better and (mostly) for worse. And four, their adventures might just open the mystery of life, the wonders of existence, and the endless possibilities of new love....

Love is the most beautiful feeling in world. A heart eventually falls for a person without any thought. But what happened when a person is made forcefully to love his or her partner. A girl was tied to a chair in the dark room .Her body was covered in bruises and marks. She was whimpering in pain. A man entered the room and sat next to her. He touched her cheek and said," Say, That you love me”. Girl looked at him with blurry vision and said," I will never love a person like you ”. The man get angry and slapped her hard.Girl fall on the floor with a thud. This story is about a 20 year old girl who was living her life happily but everything changed when she caught the eyes the eyes of a buisness tycoon. She tried her best to resist him but failed miserably and tied in the knot of wedding. She was trying to overcome this phase of her life but one night changed everything. She was finding herself now in a more worst condition than before. Her husband tried his best to made the girl fall for him by forcing her and acting violently on her. **Please Ignore the minor error in few of the starting chapters. I will edit it later** Thank you so much for giving this story a chance to read..

Second Book of "5 Princes and I" Rosalie Amber Stan's world is now upside down. Not only is she a suppose to learn about her dead kingdom but she actually has to learn how to use her powers along side her familiar, Custard. Adding to her list of problems; the rogue king, King Ferius, won't stop at nothing until he gets a hold of Rose's blood. So it is now up to the princes to protect her until she learns how to protect herself. Which could take a while with her refusal to cooperate with them. Will Rose be able to master her powers and learn how to defend herself? Will she be able to learn more about her heritage and revive her dead kingdom?

Siena was nothing more than a trophy wife—a chosen mate in a political marriage, never truly loved by her Alpha King husband. When her pack faced bankruptcy, she had no choice but to beg for his help. But the Alpha King, cold and ruthless, demanded that she kneel before him… That was the moment Siena decided. She would leave this marriage, and she would never love this heartless man again. But strangely… the moment she chose divorce, he suddenly seemed panicked? ** ** ** After Siena's divorced and her ex-alpha king husband thinks she’s drowning in tears. But actually, She’re dating different hot guys every day. 🎉🍻 Him 😠 (interrupting the date, furious): How dare you! She 🤔️: Excuse me, sir? Who are you?

Have you ever thought, what would you do if you meet back with your first love after separated for years and suddenly you were about to marry your own childhood crush because of some unexpected event?.."Asher, did you have any girlfriend right now?” Richard asks making Asher who just drinks his juice suddenly choked a bit."Uh..” he wants to say no. But it feels like he had one. Even though he never said anything to Hyejin Kim, but their relationship more likely looks like a couple.“What happens actually? Andy asks again."Our daughter, the bride for tomorrow has been run away to find the groom that also has been run away." Hai Rin finally spill out the situation they're facing right now"Adrian already married a few years ago, I only had two daughters left. One already run away, so the only choice I have is..” He turns to look at Athena again.Athena knows what his father meant, she bit her bottom of lips.'Relax..it just for helping my family. Nothing could go wrong from doing a good deed.’ she tries to calm her heart right now.Athena finally nod. "I'm ready, dad.” "One side is settled, now the problem is...where do I find the groom?" Richard finally let out his worries.