Actually Funny Jokes

Book two of the Alpha's Phoenix mate! Melissa is a simple illiterate human village girl who dreams of going to school and becoming an architectural designer but her dreams get shattered when she is forced to marry a man five times her age. She finds a way to get out of the marriage and with the help of Kaira, goes to a different country where she meets Dean. Dean is the alpha of Black phantom pack who's been waiting to find his mate but after finally finding her, he gets shattered when he realises that she not only is an innocent little girl but also a human who isn't interested in love

“You dare to think of another man in my presence?” The Alpha growled with a burning desire in his eyes. He glowered at Lavinia whose hands were tied. “What does that man have that I don’t? That filthy vampire, you think he’s going to save you?” His hands ran through her bare skin, sending shivers to her spine. “Please, leave me alone,” Lavinia begged in desperation. Tears welled up in her eyes. “Then be mine, Lavinia.” He leaned closer to her. His breath fanned her face. “I’ll make you the happiest woman alive.” Lavinia shook her head. She pursed her lips while watching the man in front of her. He may be a great man with power but her heart longed for someone else. “No. You’re not him… You’re not Sebastian.” "We had an unspoken deal: He gave me warmth, colors, and lies. In return, he asked for my blood when he's thirsty, my body when he's cold and my heart when he's bored. The funny part is, I still think it's quite a bargain." - Lavinia de Llava

(18+) CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT “A HUMAN. . .” he mused, scanning every feature of my face, carving them into his memory. "Jisoo." He breathed my name, making me resist the urge to shiver. I raised my eyebrows at the undeniably handsome man in front of me and crossed my arms, then shook my head, "I was supposed to make 10 million today!" I whined at the loss of my company. "Humans and their greed!" He grunted, walking away. JISOO KWON, a strong and independent twenty-seven-year-old woman, who was the CEO and founder of her company, lived her life confidently as she expanded her company; her empire. Little did she know her life would take an unexpected turn, forcing her to run away from home; from the company she built with her every breath, only to run into a creature, one that was believed to be a myth at that. While she always fancied dragons, treasuring them as her favorite mythology creature, she never imagined actually meeting one, let alone being one’s mate. But there’s no way that's possible, right? However, she's proved wrong, by her mate nonetheless. TRISTEN SLADE is a determined, yet surprisingly kind dragon prince-- but only to his kind. He was always harsh towards humans, it was their very existence that forced dragons to run and hide within the shadows and caves, the once powerful and majestic creatures, now long forgotten. His only mission was to find the Heart of Magic, a gem that would return his kind to their original glory, but when a certain little human practically runs into his arms, scared, terrified and lost, he's brought into something anew...and beautiful. Will this forbidden toxic love save both kinds? Or will it destroy them both? After all, it was one impossible love.. Cover by @.SeashelI on quotev.

Alpha Kane imprisons Amy in his dungeon to soften her up for questioning after her brother, Jake, abducts his sister, Lisa. But she proves stubborn and he enslaves her, hoping this will make her more compliant. Kane is attracted to the dark-haired she-wolf from a rival pack, recently absorbed by his own, even though he has found his Luna and mate, Selene. But Amy is not what she seems, and the Alpha also has a hidden agenda. Working together to right a centuries old wrong, the pair begin to question everything they have been taught to believe. Will pack hierarchy ever be the same again?

Marco merupakan anak brandalan, yang hanya menghabiskan waktunya untuk beradu fisik. Bukan tanpa tujuan melainkan untuk mimpi. Alur cerita kehidupan Marco mulai terusik setelah bertemu dengan seorang gadis cantik secara kebetulan. Kehidupan Marco dan gadis cantik itu amat berbeda bagaikan langit dan kerak bumi. Marco hidup dilingkungan keras yang bernama Distrik Neraka yaitu tempat yang diasingkan oleh negara untuk menampung anak haram yang dibuang oleh orang tuanya sedangkan gadis cantik itu hidup di bawah naungan kota Avesta yang sangat maju dan semua fasilitas ada disana kehidupan disana begitu normal dan penuh dengan mimpi. Seperti apakah kelanjutan hidup si anak brandalan yaitu Marco setelah ia bertemu dengan gadis cantik itu?

Find the jewel, save the kingdom--and the dragons.Princess Nya Gould fears the Dragon Moon, the night each year when one young person in their kingdom is sacrificed to a dragon to keep him from destroying their lands. When it is her friend who is taken, she creates a plan to get him back.But when Nya discovers the dragon isn't feasting on the sacrifices and is actually using them to retrieve a missing jewel, one that can save his kind and restore his kingdom, she is torn between helping him and using this knowledge to the advantage of her own kingdom.It doesn't make things easier when she finds herself attracted to the dragon shifter when he's in his human form. Slate is a sexy beast of a man, with dark smoldering eyes and rippling muscles. Can he see her as anything more than the annoying, spoiled human princess who has infiltrated his lair?As Nya and Slate work together to find the jewel, their relationship grows, and Nya is left with a choice:Find the jewel and save the kingdom--or the dragon?

Willa has been running for as long as she could remember along side her twin brother, West and her mother. Their Mother has always told them that a someone is after them. Life was difficult since their mother trained them to be ready for anything, even her death. Two years after their mom died, the twins luck has finally run out and they are captured but they are shocked to discover that it's their own father and brothers they've been running from. Now reunited, will the twins finally find happiness and family or will they end up being destroyed by their family's dark secret? With everyone hiding secrets, what is the truth? What is safe? The twins have only ever believed in their motto, Chaos not cash, maim not murder and each other. Can they trust anyone else and more importantly, should they?

"Remember the most important rule, don't get caught." *** I try to keep my expression neutral and give nothing away in my eyes, Eli is a smart man, smarter than he lets on and will know if something is different about me, "Everyone change, Eli, you definitely aren't the man you were when we first met, but the question is if the change is for the better or the worse." His hand reaches over the table and take mine in the gloves and though there is a barrier between our hands his touch is felt and the reaction sent to the rest of my body. "I love you, Anna and that's not going to change, but I have to admit that I like this side of you more. However, I am contented with whatever I get as long as I get to have you." These words are the words any woman wants to hear their man tell them and it is almost perfect to my ears... almost because I am not Anna...

Legends of old had been passed throughout the Kingdom of Shaldan. That the great kings of the past, the Alpha of the East had lost his mind and ruined the Kingdom. The Queen, the Luna named Galatea had been murdered by her own mate. Songs about the legend had been made. "Don't go to the forest. Don't go to the east. Don't go near the forest, or you'll face the beast." The villagers knew the song by heart and they knew the reason, though the monsters were only talked about in whispers. In a lullaby. The Eastern Forest was dangerous for it had been neglected, forgotten. The forest was dark. Even the lights from the moon, the stars and thousands of fireflies were not enough to illuminate the sky. Everyone knew that. For how could they forget. A stone had been carved for the purpose of everyone's protection. Sometimes the village young boys and girls dared each other to step to the edge of the meadow, just to see, but none of them actually went beyond the protective bushes at the edge. "Phil, wait for me!" Accashia screamed. Accashia had always felt that her family neglected her. Shunned her. Sometimes her older siblings would even chase her through the meadow for fun. It was easier to catch her, which meant it was easier to beat her up and tie her to the big oak tree. The only difference is when they left her that night and came back during daybreak, Accashia was gone. "Find her! Mom's going to kill us if she finds out!” Little did they know that she was picked up by someone who's silver hair glows under the moonlight. A Survivor from the East. A young man named Calleb. WARNING! CONTAINS BEASTIALITY

SYNOPSIS My mind and heart were all over the place as I stared straight into his blue grayish eyes, this time not looking away. “What do you want Liz?" I gulped, “you.” ~ Lizzy Greene, a popular actress and heiress to a multimillionaire company attends the 'royal' high school. School for the rich and high status. What happens when the new hot guy expected at her school is actually her neighbor next door? Noah King, a handsome, egoistic, hot bad boy transfers to a new school and state far from home only to find out that the popular actress was his neighbor next door. The both of them both have their scars and secrets. With all the secrets in the open, will they be able to become more than just neighbors? Find out in this story of love, betrayal, heartbreak, secrets and friendship. cover made by; @maramartha picture found on Pinterest. Model: Danielle Campbelle photo credit: Dusman Kardesler