actually funny jokes

The woman dreamed of sleeping on an incredibly soft and comfortable bed. Her skin was pampered by the smoothness of the vast expanse of fabric. Perhaps she was lying on a giant fluffy marshmallow. The pleasure made her smile, a wide grin that revealed her white teeth. Her hands moved around on the bed, enjoying the comfortable touch between her skin and the oh-so-soft fabric. When was the last time she enjoyed such a soft and comfortable bed? She wasn't sure. Maybe it was during her last business trip to London. Back then, Big Boss had rented a luxurious suite for her to stay in with his only child who couldn't be far from his daddy. The business trip felt more like taking care of a toddler. No, actually, she was taking care of two toddlers - Big Boss's favorite child and Big Boss himself, the big baby who was more troublesome than his little daughter, Nora. Hmn! The difference was that on this comfortable bed, she could get a good quality sleep. There were no interruptions from Big Boss's children, no annoying single daddy shouting.

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs, and for Ella Blake, it was a fastball right to the heart. On the same day she discovered she was pregnant, her husband, Lucas, dropped a bombshell: his childhood sweetheart, Amy, was also expecting—and he wanted Ella to raise the child. Talk about a double whammy! Devastated and feeling utterly betrayed, Ella packed her bags and left the life she once knew, vowing never to look back. Fast forward six years, and she's back, but with a new look and a fierce attitude. Lucas can’t believe his luck when he spots her, mistaking their chemistry for a chance to rekindle their past. But with secrets, old feelings, and Amy reappearing with her own bombshell, can Ella find a way to reclaim her heart, or will revenge take the wheel? What will happen when the past collides with the present?

VIOLA I'm a wedding planner and I'm in love with love and couples who are in love. They are my bread and butter after all but that's not why I love them. I haven't got there yet myself but arranging weddings keeps my dream of finding Mr. Right alive. But life doesn't always see things the way we dream of them turning out. It sure didn't see it my way when he crossed my path. RICK I don't believe in love. If it really exists why are there so many broken relationships and people in the world? Not that I care… about the broken relationships I mean. After all, they are my bread and butter. People lay the foundation for the demise of their marriage before they're married with prenups. Anyone who thinks it starts with a wedding is wrong. It starts with a lawyer. And if it ends… well, it ends with a lawyer too. Funny that. Often the people I work for before their wedding, come back to me when they divorce. So, love is great and it is for me but just not the way you might think if you get what I mean. When I met the wedding planner she was incensed at the thought that we might collaborate. Normally I would just walk away but the universe seems to have other plans…

In the second year of my marriage to Jeffery Sadler, he brought a young woman home. When his eyes met mine, Jeffery smiled carelessly and said, "Naomi, perhaps you should try it too." He added, "After all, young and energetic people are truly different." I knew he was only testing me; he had always enjoyed tormenting and toying with me. But what he didn't know was that this time, I was genuinely tempted. Later, as he stared at the fresh scratch marks on the "young person's" waist and abdomen, his eyes blazed red with anger. "Naomi Sloan," he growled, “Who gave you the audacity to actually take this seriously?”

Maids don’t ever get to go to the ball… do they? Jace Connors: Stretched thin from running a business and organizing a wedding, the last thing Jace needs is the world’s most eligible bachelorettes trying to sneak their way into his bed. When he meets Ella grooming the inn’s horses, though, she leaves him breathless. Jace knows that he can’t let her get away… Ella McDaniels: What starts as an almost-kiss in the barn ends up captivating Ella, even though she knows that the richly dressed Jace is out of her league. However, when he keeps showing up wherever she is, her attraction to him grows. And if she can outwit her wicked stepmother, she just might be able to dance with him at the wedding reception ball. There’s only one problem… What if Jace is actually the groom?

After living a life of emptiness, life as a spy wasn’t something i complained about. My mother wanted me to live, so i did. But how can i live when i only have one year left to live? An oracle told me i would die because i gave away my essence to a boy i met 12 years ago. By then i’ve decided to fulfill my mother’s wish so i agreed. One day, my birthday came so our alpha tried to give me a day off but i refused. Instead, I forced my way through the target’s location. Just when i was about to kill the infamous Alpha of Crescent Moon, i realized that he was the same person who i saved 12 years ago! "I never thought I'll meet my mate like this. You actually dare to kill me?" He growls. Mates? My eyes widened.

“I’d give up my whole kingdom to be with you. I want to be your Prince Charming.” Aria has a big heart but bigger problems. Her whole life is a mess thanks to her controlling stepmother. But when she’s knocked over- literally- by the hottest man she’s ever had the pleasure of tangling up her body with, everything changes. Henry Prescott, second-string rugby player for the Paradisa Royals, is funny, sweet, charming, and oh-so-sexy. He’s got a rock hard body and tackles her in bed as fiercely as he tackled her in the park. Knowing nothing about rugby, but absolutely intoxicated by his accent, she finds herself falling for him. There’s only one problem: Henry Prescott doesn’t exist. The man she thinks she loves is actually Prince Henry, second in line for the throne of the nation of Paradisa. He’s the man who Aria’s entire department has to impress for trade relations. And that makes Aria’s stepmother’s plans even more dangerous. He’s the man who could destroy her world or make all her dreams come true. He lied about being a prince… did he also lie about being in love? NYT Bestseller Krista Lakes brings you this brand new sweet-and-sexy royal romance. This standalone novel will have you cheering for an American princess’s happily ever after.

Blurb After being betrayed by her boyfriend and kid sister, Nora James, the illegitimate daughter of the James family decides to leave the country and start a new life, thereby, changing her name to Nora Daniels. But then, she discovers that she was with a set of twins. Unable to trace their father, she decides she has to raise them herself. But five years later, pushed by too much hardship, Nora decides to return to get her revenge on those who'd betrayed her and also to regain her mother's company, which had also been stolen from her along with her boyfriend. She bumps with this handsome billionaire, Aiden Brookes who she decides to get married to, to have a place to crash. But then what happens when she discovers that he was actually the father of her five year old twins. How will she be able to navigate through getting her revenge and her growing live for Aiden?

I could hear his heart race as he spoke, my head pressed against his chest. “And were you pleased with what you found?” I asked, giving in to the urge to find out exactly what he thought of me. “I found you to be exactly what I had hoped for, after all these years. You’re smart, funny and generally adorable. You drive me insane with your stubbornness. You have a gorgeously alluring figure and a pure, sweet face. Most importantly, you’re someone who I could live with for the rest of eternity.” He squeezed me gently, running his fingers through my tangled hair. *** Seventeen year old Callista is just your average teenage girl, however when she starts to have strange dreams after coming into contact with a mysterious guy in a coma things become complicated: especially when she begins to suspect that he is trying to speak to her through her dreams. Launched into an alternate realm with Greek gods, succubi and all things mythological, Callista struggles to balance her new-found destiny and her life in the human realm.

“Does my twin brother make you moan like this?” He asked and I whimpered. He was torturing me, and I could no longer bear it. I watched as he brought out his finger, only to put it in his mouth and lick. I swallowed as I also imagined his twin brother doing the same. I was in a trouble I didn’t know how to get out of. Darlene would never expect to get married to Alexander. What she didn’t see coming was falling for Alexander and his twin. She is left to decide in which twin she is actually in love with, while both of them fought over her.