An Extremely Goofy Movie Vhs Novels & Stories

All centered around an elevated beanbag chair, and wall-mounted tube TV. At first, we found it in a game of hide and seek. Nothing more than an extension cord running along the ceiling rafters for the bunny eared screen and tape player with a single VHS tape; loaded with Scooby-Doo movies. I can’t say our ever expanding collection of cartoon classics was how I learned English, but I can’t say it didn’t help either. So many hours spent. Too many nights we’d just pass out rather than find our way back to our beds.

“What? You loved it. Don’t tell me you don’t remember how obsessed you were with this movie when we were kids.” “I wasn’t obsessed,” I shot back, popping a chip into my mouth. “I just… watched it a lot.” He gave me a look, the kind that said he was enjoying catching me in a lie. “Every weekend. On repeat. To the point I wanted to throw the VHS out the window.” I laughed, the sound surprising me with how light it felt. It had been a long time since we laughed like this—like before everything got messy. “You’re exaggerating.”

It only came down about an inch past my ass and when I bent over to slide a movie in the VCR, I am sure Diva had a full view of my ass. We ate popcorn and enjoyed the first movie a lot. It was an action comedy, like a part 2 of something I think. My mind wasn’t really on it, but what I saw, I enjoyed. While it was rewinding, Diva was flipping through the cable stations and, as fate would have it, she stopped on one of those late evening, pay channel soaps. It was one of those boring half hour drama shows with a lot of bad acting. It just so happened that this particular one was about the lesbian lifestyle.

I'm really good at hiding my emotions. Hey, jusko. I cried. I quickly held back my tears and just opened the youtube app on the Ipad. Vish might even see me crying for no reason. I just searched the name of my favorite youtube channel. Frame Order. Frame Order provides cartoon videos. But, most of their content is full of dark humor, so it's not the kind of cartoons suitable for children. I then started watching the videos. Sometimes it makes me laugh, sometimes it makes me uncomfortable because someone's hand is being cut off, and sometimes I hate it.

Greys Anatomy came on. "I dislike this movie" Anna chuckled and I did too. Honestly, I don't know how and why people come up with horrible movies like that. "Me too I'm more of short romance Netflix movies" "Really? Me too" Anna squealed. It's good to know we were bonding after all. "I love to catch movies on Hulu too" She looked at me and we both yelled. "The great" together. We burst into a fit of laughter as I clutched my stomach trying to get a grip of myself. The Great is an old Russian movie and one of my favourite on Hulu.

My laugh was like ice. "Shall I refresh your memory? Right after we married, you cheated on me. Joann's child was born a full six months before Lily. And on the day of Lily's hundred-day party, when we could have used the cord blood, you insisted on dragging Lily to the hospital to draw blood for Joann's daughter. You bled Lily dry until she died."

It felt like I had this terrible secret and it might be discovered at any minute! Then I saw it. “Convert your favorite family BETA movies to VHS and enjoy them tonight! Our high speed dubbing machines can convert them while you shop! Just $9.95 plus the cost of a new tape. I slid the brochure into my purse and finished my shopping and quickly left the store. After I finished putting away the groceries, I picked up the envelope with the tape in it and thought about what I was going to do with it. Why bother with an old p**n movie? If I wanted to watch one, I can go to our local video store and rent one. I tossed it into the trash can.

I promise you, though, it is not what it seems. I make my way to the back of the warehouse, to the last shelf of ‘inventory.’ I scan the rows of DVD cases looking for the current ‘code title’—Alexandra Cameltoe. I’ll be honest, porn doesn’t usually ‘do it’ for me. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original, not the Michael Douchebay farce remake), sure—but some stupid bimbo college student willing to do anything to get a passing grade, or an even dumber but well-hung pizza delivery guy with a ‘special delivery? Sorry but that shit doesn’t do anything to twix my nethers. That said, I have watched Alexandra Cameltoe—not for erotic pleasure, but just simply because of the fact that it would literall

She was huddled on the sofa under a duvet, looking tragic. “Feeling better?” she asked. “Blah.” “I’m sorry.” It was hard to know how to sympathize with someone who sounded like Emperor Goan. “But, hey, you can do an awesome impression of Emperor Goan.” That seemed to perk him up. “Go on. Say Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station.” “Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station,” she rasped. She gave her a thumbs-up and went into herbedroom to slip into something less socially acceptable, emerging a few seconds later in her short pants and an I’M FABULOUS AND I KNOW IT T-shirt.

We ordered Chinese takeout — he insisted on paying — and somehow ended up scrolling streaming apps until he gasped dramatically. “Oh wow,” he whispered. “You haven’t seen this movie, have you?” I blinked. “I don’t know, which one—?” He clicked it before I could finish. A cheesy, old-school action comedy from the early 2000s appeared onscreen. I burst out laughing. “Matthew. No.” “Oh yes.” He grinned. “It’s a classic. A cinematic masterpiece. And tonight, you’re being initiated.” We watched while waiting for the food, throwing commentary at the screen, cringing at the bad special effects, and quoting lines in the worst accents imaginable.