Best Ano Daw Joke

My brother and I get into a car accident. My heart is ruptured—I need emergency surgery. But my mother, the hospital director, calls every available doctor… to my brother's room. He only has a few scrapes, yet she orders a full-body scan for him while I lie there bleeding out. I beg her to help me, but she snaps, visibly annoyed, "Can't you stop fighting for attention for once? Your brother almost injured a bone!" In the end, I die on the operating table. But after the news of my death breaks, my mother, who has always hated me, completely loses her mind.

********* “Did you really come all the way here to tell me you were with another woman you slept with and impregnated?” “What?” Travis is the one who speaks, his voice echoing his shock as he looks from me to Kian. Kian’s usual blank look remains as if he is unaffected by my words and the pain he has caused me. “Let’s not do this here, Leslie. You know I can’t just leave her.” I scoff. “I never stopped you. You know what? You should have never come here. You should have stayed with her since that is where your loyalties lie now and I am no longer in the picture.” Kian frowns, moving closer and intimidating me just a little with his height and muscular frame, “What does that mean? You are my wife.” “Ex-wife,” I say the words without even thinking. I didn’t think any of this through but I don’t care because my entire being seems to agree that this is what’s best for me, “I want a divorce, Kian.” His eyes grow wide, unable to contain the shock at my words and I am proud of myself that I finally got a reaction that isn’t anger or coldness from him. “Both the divorce papers and my resignation will find their way to you soon.” I add before he can get over his shock and I don’t wait for him to reply as I turn to an equally stunned Travis. “Take me home, Travis.”

New book: Alpha's moonborn mate is OUT now. Read it today:) _____ (Book #2. Protected by the bully: OUT NOW. Read it on Goodnovel.) . Whenever she'd be asked about a thing in life that disgusted her the most, she would fume in anger and answer, "That bad bully !" Shouting loudly, she would point at the round big corner table in the school canteen where he would sit with his bully gang. ****** Valentine, was adopted by doctor Jason Pereira, of Dark Shine pack, an elder doctor who looked after the warriors and soldiers of the pack Alpha Hercules best buddy. Ryley Shine, was the son of Alpha Hercules and going to be alpha, and the bad bully who loved to bully the wolves studying in the school, to be precise her... He hated her sight, her eyes, her smile, her heart beats, her tears... Everything about her just because she was his mate, A HUMAN NAIVE NERDY MATE! Genre: Vampire/Werewolf + Romance + Teen fiction.*Not fully edited! It's under editing at the moment.*

Can a contract marriage built on obsession and deceit turn into a love story? Luca Romano, the heir to the Romano group, is faced with a daunting task - he must get married in order to claim his inheritance. However, Luca suffers from a rare allergy to women's touch, leaving him in a bind. But then he meets Elena, a stranger he has a one night stand with at a bar. To his surprise, his allergy doesn't kick in when he's with her. So he proposes a contract marriage - he gets his company and can indulge in his obsession with Elena, while Elena, who is actually in disguise with a vendetta against the Romanos, can use the marriage to bring them down. As the two navigate the murky waters of their contract marriage, they begin to see beyond their own selfish desires and into the deep love they share. But with Elena's hidden agenda and the Romano family's dark secrets threatening to tear them apart, their love is put to the ultimate test. "Mr Romano's Obsession" is a gripping tale of passion, deception, and true love. With twists and turns at every corner, readers will be left on the edge of their seats until the very end.

***BRATVA WOLVES: BOOK 2*** As a scentless half-human/half-werewolf, Lily Vega always expected abuse, violence and bloodshed - the norm for her step-brother's pack of Lycans. Given to the BloodCrest Pack as a gift to cement the bond between New York and Las Vegas, she didn't expect to become second in command to the Heartless Beta, Konstantin Volkov. And she didn't expect to fall in love with him either. Konstantin never cared for love or finding his mate as the Beta to the Alpha God. Who needs a mate when you have a pack to protect? However, everything seemed to fall into place when Lily stepped into his life. She was his second in command and the best damn fighter he'd ever met - until she decided to leave his side when she apparently finds her mate. After a misunderstanding, which culminates in a steamy encounter with Konstantin, Lily leaves his side, never to return. What will Konstantin do once he finds out Lily is truly his mate and pregnant with his prophesied firstborn... and that she's being held prisoner by a creature even older than the Werewolf God Xamnir? Book 1 - Alpha Kai Book 2 - Konstantin: The Heartless Beta

I was the real daughter brought back to marry in place of the fake one. On the night I married Shaun Harrison, he kissed my tearful eyes and made a promise. “Quiana, if you have my baby, I’ll give you a home.” Because of that promise, I risked my life to give birth to Jaxon Harrison. I dreamed of having a home that belonged to me. But years later, I saw the fake daughter walking over while holding Jaxon’s hand. “Aunt Stella, I wish you were my mom. “I’ll help you get rid of her. Can you be my mom instead?” The fake daughter laughed, and Shaun looked at them lovingly. They looked like a real family.

“Valerie.” My head snapped up at the sound of my name. The Alpha was standing by the sofa, unbuttoning the neck of his coat. “Come,” he said. “We don’t have much time.” Much time? For what? A chill moved up my arms. I wouldn’t dare ask—not that I needed to. I was not an innocent child anymore. All of my training had been for this moment. There was only one reason why werewolves purchased young, human virgins. Sex. I was a slave. A pet. And my master could do whatever he pleased with me. _________ When the war started. They fought. They slaughtered. We were nearly wiped out on the earth. Surviving humans were classified into three categories: free humans, Servants, and Slaves. My name is Valerie Davis. My parents were accused of committing a crime against the creatures in the war. After their execution, I was captured and sent to the cell as a human slave. I lived in that cell for years before I was transported to a Slave Shop, where I would be picked by a Master. It was during the dry season when I was put in the display box. I wasn't afraid like the other girls, because I was unwanted for my weirdness. I was despised for being the criminals’ daughter. I was lucky, as the masters wouldn’t want to lay a finger on me. But then the Alpha came. When he looked at me, he said he want me. ___________________________ Daily Update!

Dash is no stranger to pain, but he learned from a young age to conceal it from the world. He grew up watching his parents fight, his mother crying herself to sleep while his father drowned himself in booze. That’s not the life he wants for himself. Dash swore off women right there and then, but growing up, his hormones played a significant part in turning him into a man-.  Dash is a single billionaire with a gigantic dark secret. He is the Underboss of the biggest Mafia in New York City. Dash likes to sleep around, and rarely sleeps with the same girl twice, but his sense of humor and his charismatic smile make every girl bow at his will until he meets the only girl who won’t look twice at him.  Grace is Dash’s polar opposite, but opposites attract and Dash can’t stop thinking about the girl he saved the night he covered his twin brother’s . The girl who was dancing on the table trying to strip her clothes, and ended up in his arms. The same girl that emptied her stomach all down his new leather jacket.  Getting to know Grace and trying to seduce her will be Dash’s biggest challenge, bigger than taking down the Italian Mob that is threatening their power in New York. How serious will Dash be about Grace when he sees a target on her back? Will he be able to put her above everything and everyone, or will go back to his old self not caring about anyone else? This is the second book of The Legacies Series. You can read this book as a stand-alone, but for better comprehension, it is advisable to read the first book of the series. “The Reaper CEO” 

Idunnuoluwa Gregory is a 24-year-old orphan, CEO of I.D.G fashion house, and CEO of her late parent's company. Stacey Obong is her best friend and the only person she considers family. Michael Leonard is a 26-year-old handsome young man. He deals in the buying and selling of automobile spare parts. Raphael is his best friend. Michael and idunnu eventually fall in love. However, there's something between Stacey and Michael that Idunnu knows nothing about. Likewise, Raphael is hiding something. What is going to happen? What is Raphael hiding? What will happen when Stacey and Micheal finally meet? How will Idunnu and Stacey end up? What will cause a strain in the long-time friendship of Michael and Raphael? This is a must read

Liam finally turned his eyes to her, "you couldn't get your wolf. I can't have a Luna without a wolf so therefore I, Alpha Liam Watson of Blood moon pack rejects you, Scarlett Osborne as the mate I was supposed to have. Olivia is now my mate. I have marked her and she would be having her Luna ceremony in three days time" Everything slowed to a stop for Scarlett as his words washed over her. She felt like the weight of the world was pressing down on her chest and she couldn't breathe as she fell to the ground. *** What was supposed to be the best day of her life became the worst day when Scarlett could not get her wolf. It became even worse when she injured the soon to be Luna and was banished from her pack by the man who was supposed to be her mate. Broken and in pain, Scarlett wanders around until she comes to a stop in a human town. All she wants now is to heal and try to forget about her past. Easier said than done especially when she finds out that she is pregnant. Pregnant from the one time she gave herself to alpha Liam.