best jokes ever tagalog

Ethan Montenegro is Allison Garcia's impossible dream. Ito iyong sikat na heartthrob sa campus, at siya naman iyong saktong tahimik na nag-eexist lang sa background. Hindi siya napapansin at okay lang iyon sa kanya. Ethan and Allison's paths were never meant to cross until a mere nanosecond of eye contact changed everything. Since then, Ethan has become like bubblegum stuck on her shoe. Hindi na niya ito maipagpag dahil pirmi na itong nakadikit lagi sa kanya. Hanggang sa ang pagkakaibigan nila ay nauwi sa pagmamahalang noong una ay confident si Allison na kahit anong mangyari ay ipaglalaban nila ang isa't isa. Hindi niya akalaing isang araw, siya ang mismong gagawa ng paraan para kamuhian siya ng lalaking minamahal. She broke his heart and made sure the sin she committed was beyond redemption. When fate brings them together again, would Ethan find it in his heart to forgive Allison?

((( Julius POV’s )))Napabangon ako dahil sa bungangang yun. Tinignan ko yung babae.“Huwag kang lalapit sa akin!” Bigla akong ngumit at natawa sa sarili ko. Kung gano'n ang babaeng 'to ay walang iba kundi si Janine.“Seems I have a “good” Morning. Good morning Janine.”Bigla akong pinaghahampas ng unan ni Janine. Ewan parang ang saya eh. Nakalapit ako sa kanya. Pinigilan ko ang kamay niya saka hinila ko siya palapit sa akin.“Bitiwan mo ako Julius!” Hinalikan ko siya sa noo. Natigilan siya sa kakapalag.“Now, your mine.” Saka ko siya hinalikan sa labi.Bakas sa mukha niya ang pagkagulat. Kaya bigla niya akong sinampal. Ngumiti lang ako bilang tugon...“I know. I deserve it.” At muli ko siyang hinalikan.“Julius! Gumising ka nga!” At pinagsasampal ako ni Janine, magkabilaang pisngi. Pinigilan ko ang kamay niya.“Gising na gising ako. Gusto mo pa?” Pak!Aww...yun ang masakit.“Di ako nakikipaglokohan sa'yo!” Ngumiti ako.“Sa tingin mo niloloko kita?”“Ahhhh....hmmm..” Hinalikan ko eh.At bago ako bumangon, hinalikan ko siya sa pisngi. Natulala siya.Bumangon na ako. Tinali ko ang robe ko at kinindatan siya bago ako pumunta ng banyo.Nang makapasok ako, narinig ko ang pagsisigaw ni Janine.Nakita ko naman ang refleksyon ko sa salamin. Ngiting-ngiti na napapailing. Naghilamos ako. Iniisip ko kung sino sa dalawang ama-amahan ko ang gumawa nito.

Sandro Villanueva, a professional, handsome and hot diver accidentally saw a mysterious beautiful woman floating in a coast area. Si Aaliyah Garcia ang babaeng ‘yon, galing siya sa isang napakamayamang pamilya pero dahil sa pagpilit ng kaniyang mga magulang na magpakasal siya sa isang lalaking hindi naman niya mahal ay napilitan siyang tumakas na humantong sa sa muntik na niyang pagkalunod sa dagat nang tumaob ang speed boat na sinakyan niya. Laking pasasalamat niya sa pagkakasagip sa kaniya ni Sandro. Dahil sa kagustuhan niyang hindi bumalik sa poder ng kaniyang mga magulang ay minabuti niyang magpanggap na may amnesia. Minabuti ni Sandro na kupkupin muna ang babae hanggang sa bumalik na ang ala-ala nito at dahil na rin na-love at first sight siya sa taglay nitong kagandahan. Aaliyah wanted to change her life, at nakita niyang matutulungan siya ni Sandro para isakatuparan ito. They fall in love with each other, pero hindi magtatagal ang inaakala nilang masaya at tahimik na buhay nila sa isla. Aaliyah’s secrets will hunt her, this will shake their relationship. Will he still manage to look at her the same way after knowing everything or he will fight for their love?

Harper Parisi was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Bilang anak ng Senador, nakukuha niya ang lahat ng anumang gustuhin niya. From being the latest luxury bags to eye-catching dresses, name it all and she have it. When she met Wyatt, she said to herself that she will make him fall in love--- by hook or by crook. But when the secrets of her past started unfolding, how would the Senator's daughter handle everything knowing that the ties that bound her and Wyatt involves her father's wrongdoing? The Senator's Daughter by: untoldjins FILIPINO • R18+

Katanaya Sandoval ang nag iisang tagapagmana ng pamilya Sandoval. Pamilyang kinatatakutan ng marami dahil sila ang kanang kamay ng Reyna. Ngunit ang lahat ay nagbago nang mamatay ang kaniyang magulang at mapadpad sa Low Town kung saan lahat nang nakatira doon ay mahihina at patapon. Ano kaya ang magiging reaction nila kapag nalaman nilang nabubuhay pa ang kaisa-isang Sandoval at sasali sa survival game na Code:Hero. Will she be able to find the Code or she will be killed inside the Game? Let's find out.

“Are you going to be a good little kitten and accept your punishment from daddy?” He asked, growling in my ear. I whimpered as my leg buckled under me, my eyes full of lust, my panties soaked and my whole body on fire as I replied, “yes Daddy.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When Rene becomes deeply obsessed with someone she shouldn't love, her Dad's best friend, Ivor Walker. What would happen when she realized everything is not as simple as she thought it was? How long can they keep their relationship hidden from their family? What would happen when a past comes haunting them?

“Let’s make a deal. Papayag ka sa kasal—just for show. Para kay grandpa. Name only, no real marriage. No interference in each other’s lives. Kapag gumaling si Lolo, magdi-divorce tayo. Bilang kapalit, bibigyan kita ng financial compensation.” Napamaang si Nathalie. Compensation? Hindi niya naituloy ang pagtanggi. Naalala niya ang kapatid niyang naghihintay ng pambayad para sa gamutan. Isa pa, kaya naman talaga siya pumunta sa Zamora ay para humiram ng pera. Nakita ni Cedric ang pag-aalinlangan niya. Dagdag pa nito, “As long as you agree, kahit magkano—ikaw ang bahala.” Tahimik na nagbilang si Nathalie ng hininga. Ilang sandali pa, tumango na siya. “Okay, I agree.” Bahagyang ibinaba ni Cedric ang paningin, tinatago ang malamig na ngiti sa kanyang mga mata. ‘Isang babaeng kayang ipagbili ang kasal para sa pera… how cheap,’ naisip niya.

I make a mistake. A rash and intoxicating mistake. One night. A stranger. A fire that burns my skin and leaves me breathless. But when the morning light comes, I run—leaving behind nothing but shame and a few crumpled bills. I think I’ll never see him again. Until I step into the towering kingdom of Wilder Group... and meet ーhim. Kai Wilder Reyes. A ruthless billionaire. The man who rules the city with just a snap of his fingers. The man who shares an unforgettable night with me. And worst of all—my best friend's uncle. His grin is sinful. His touch is deadly. His words are a trap I can’t escape. "I can destroy your husband for you, Vivian," he whispers, his lips dangerously close. "Make him regret ever betraying you." My ex-husband, Adrian Cownell, has shattered my heart, and Kai offers me justice on a silver platter. But at what cost? Because Kai never does anything for free. And when I ask him what he wants in return, he smiles. A slow, dark, wicked smile. "I want you, Vivian."

"Maybe you should spank me. I've been very, very, very naughty, sir." He chuckled, watching me go on all fours, in the middle of his office as he sat at his desk, typing away on an electronic keyboard. "You have, Miss Lenora," he smirked. "And I'm beginning to think my punishment has been too light Biting my lips like a puppy begging for a treat, I loved the sound of his voice dripping like honey. He leaned back into his chair and returned to his work, "Now get out. I've got test scripts to mark." Lenora's world crumbles when the man she has a sizzling passion for rejects her for her sister. Heartbroken, she escapes the painful situation by enrolling at Eldridge College, a distant university where she wouldn't have to face her backstabbing sister and the sexy-as-hell Professor CJ who tore her heart into shreds. What will happen when she's in her lecture hall and sees the new professor walk in, the same man who shattered her heart? Ignore her uncontrollable lust for him by pretending that he doesn't exist, or risk everything, defying the grave consequences and surrendering to the irresistible charm that CJ possesses.

Hindi akalain ni Mutya na magagawa nga talaga nyang pikutin ang among si Drake ngunit ngayon ay bigla na lang nabahag ang kanyang buntot at ayaw na niyang ituloy ang binabalak. Kailangan niyang makaalis ng kwarto bago pa magising si Drake. Dahan dahan niyang pinihit ang seradura ng pinto upang hindi sya makagawa ng ingay. Laking gulat na lamang nya dahil hindi pa man nya tuluyang nabubuksan ang pintuan ay may tumulak na nito mula sa labas kasunod ang maraming kislap at tunog ng camera. “Miss ikaw ba ang bagong girlfriend ni Drake Rufino?” “Nasa loob ba sya?” “Gano na kayo katagal?” Sunod sunod na katungan ng mga reporters. Sa takot ay napaurong sya. Hindi nya alam ang gagawin. Napatigil ang dalaga sa pag-urong nang bumangga sya sa matitipunong dibdib mula sa lalaking nakatayo sa kanyang likuran. Gising na si Drake. “Whats going on here?” halata sa mukha ng lalaki na bagong gising pa ito. Nakapulupot sa hubo't hubad nitong katawan ang puting kumot....