Best Your Mom Jokes

I thought mates were meant to love you. I thought they were meant to cherish you, so why was mine so different? Why was he such a coward that he rejected me without a beat when his father asked him to? What of the night we had spent? My life had always been trash, so when I was banished, it was no surprise no one spoke for me, but what they didn't know was I would be back five years later with a prophecy to tell, and my baby alpha, to claim his rightful position as heir. But what happens when things doesn't go as planned, and the prophecy itself was the one she was going to hate?

Since she was sixteen, Sydney Rae Salvador has been in love with Clyren Zeye Matteo. But that's not how he ever saw her. He was constantly present but never hers, he was her older brother's best friend. Sydney quietly loving him, while he loved other girls. Then everything changed one night. She became pregnant even though she had no idea what it meant to him. She kept her pregnancy a secret. She wished to avoid making him feel obliged to stay. She also became irrationally angry with him. However, she secretly missed him when he wasn't present. She was simply seeking things, it turned out, and she wanted Clyren close to her most of the time. Months later, her brother discovered that she was pregnant. He got angry with Clyren and confronted him but Clyren already knew. He had been waiting for Sydney to tell him herself. After that, Clyren took care of her. He was always there. Then one day, when she was six months pregnant, she asked him to buy her a mangosteen that she was craving. He went out, but he never came back. She gave birth alone. For years, there was no sign of him. Four years later, her twins were already toddlers. At the airport, her son had an accident. At that exact moment, she ran into Clyren again. He was checking on her son’s head, which was covered in blood. She begged him to help their son, so they rushed to the hospital. What happened to Clyren? Do second chances really exist?

Three years into our marriage, Chris Davis doted on me deeply. But I accidentally discovered that he had been cheating on me for two years. In front of that woman, everything he said showed his disdain towards me. "Who would marry a cripple?" "She's like a dead fish in bed." "She's just a deaf person who makes me want to throw up now." Later, I took the initiative to file for divorce. But he went crazy. Kneeling in front of me, every word was filled with regret...

I listened to my mate fuck my maid for five years. Right here beside my hospital bed. “When you stand by her bed,” Frost gasped beneath my mate’s thrusts, “are you thinking of your Luna… or how you fucked me here?” “Don’t.” Caleb answered, his voice low, his rhythm never slowing. “She’s always my Luna. I need her.” Frost laughed, breathless and soft.“Sure, Alpha. But when the lights go out, only I know whose name you really moan.” No. I knew it. I heard clearly for five years. My fated mate, the father of my twins, the man I fought for and nearly died for, betrayed me while I lay unconscious after childbirth. But what I never expected was that my puppies would choose her too. I was done listening to betrayal from the shadows. It was time to take back what was mine. The thought of their faces when they realized I was awake made me smile. I reached for the phone by my bed when they left and pressed the button. “I’m awake.”

PROLOGUE: Meet Celestina Guevara-Sy_ Isang Masayahing Babae , Walang ibang inaatupag kundi ang pagiging isang mabuting asawa. Maganda , Mayaman , Mabait , Matalino at higit sa lahat Sexy na halos kinababaliwan ng kalalakihan. Gabriela Javier_ Ang Matalik na kaibigan ni Celestina. Pinagkakatiwalaan at tinuring na kapatid. Sya ang KABIT ng Kanyang asawa. Zander Ford Sy_ Ang lalaking asawa ni Celestina. Na ubod ng sungit , malamig kung makitungo Simula ng bumalik sa pilipinas si Gabriela. Paano kung pinagtataksilan sya ng dalawang taong pinagkakatiwalaan nya? Ang taong minahal nya ng lubos higit pa sa kanyang BUHAY.? Magpaparaya nalang ba sya? Dahil alam nyang wala syang puwang sa puso ng kanyang asawa? O ipaglalaban nya ito kahit sya pa ang masasaktan. "B-bakit nyo ito ginagawa sakin? Pinagkakatiwalaan KO kayo? Bakit? Bakit sya pa Gabriela? Alam mo kung gaano KO sya kamahal? Simula noon? Iniwan mo sya sa ere at ako ang laging nasa tabi nya? Bakit gab.? Ngayon pa na kasal na kami? Ngayon kapa bumalik at sirain ang nabuo kung pamilya? Tinuri kitang kapatid pero niloko at inahas mo sya sakin". Celestina. " Dahil mahal ko sya Celestina. Alam mo na simulat sapul palang ay ako na ang minahal ni Zander? Alam kung alam mo yon Celestina? Nagmamahalan kami ni Zander? Kaya pakiusap palayain muna sya. Alam kung mayron pang mas deserve sa pagmamahal mo. Pakiusap Celestina kung mahal mo ako palayain muna sya? Patawad kung niloko kita o namin. Patawad Bestfriend". Gabriela natameme Ako dahil sa sinabi nito na agad Kong kinatahimik at nanatiling nag proseso pa ng mga sinasabi nya. "I'll try to love you Celestina , but I'll fail. Alam muna noon na si Gabriela lang ang minahal KO at wala ng iba. Sorry kung padalos dalos Ako sa disisyon ko. I'm sorry and please Set me FREE Celestina.". Zander. ________ Date Started: 01_24_2024 Ended: Ongoing

Fernando Laureti is the black sheep of the family; a cheerful, cocky and seductive young man who is used to taking the women they like to his bed. His father, Demetrio Laureti, tired of his promiscuity, decides to put him in charge of the company he has in Paris, with the simple purpose of keeping them away from their women and BDSM, but it will not be easy, he meets Samantha Mercier, a strong-willed, beautiful and determined woman who will not make it easy, making the CEO obsessed with taking her to his bed and make her his submissive, an act that she will not give in, because she will scream in his face as many times as necessary: I will not be your submissive!

Marrying her best friend was a dream come true for Kelly, but everything truly has a limitation. Pierce is Kelly’s first love, but as his best friend, she knew well there was always another woman deep in his heart. Lexi Gilbert. The woman Pierce could never forget even if he had already been arranged to marry Kelly. *** Kelly finally realized their happy marriage of the last three years was just a beautiful dream when Pierce asked for a divorce just because Lexi returned. She could only be his best friend even if she was carrying his baby. *** Since their friendship had become a cage, Kelly chose to set him free, as well as the miserable herself. But why then, it was Pierce who became the one who refused to move on? To make matters worse, her devil stepbrother also domineeringly stepped in at the same time, asking her to be his. *** Her Prince Charming vs. Her Devil Stepbrother? How could Kelly save her heart in this battle of love and hate?

**Mature Content!** "I'm so sorry, Mr. Lawson, you can marry my daughter Marga but Sabrina is an exception." "Why? She's your daughter I thought you and my parents had already arranged this marriage. And I choose Sabrina. I won't marry anyone but Sabrina." "Then why Sabrina?" "Let's say that Sabrina and I have a special thing back then," Gabriel said with a little smile. Ferdinand frowned and was curious. "Well, she might deny it." Sabrina Mondragon Alvarez – is a mute rich woman. She's an introvert and hated getting along with rich people who always talk about senseless stuff. She was bullied by socialite but never they knew that behind that innocent-looking woman hides a strong and powerful aura. Being quiet doesn't mean weak but is something more dangerous than anything. Silence would lead all of her enemies to one place that can also be called danger. Soon, she'll have them in the place that she's secretly reserving for those who made her life and family miserable. She said to be someone who can't speak not until he came and chose her to be his wife. Gabriel Lawson - a rich powerful tycoon with a strong background. He fell in love with the woman he had a one night stand with and chose her to be his wife. He would do anything for her. And for those people who hurt her--they must pay a thousand folds.

While the criminal was brutally killing me, my dad, the head of the criminal investigation division, and my mom, the chief forensic pathologist, were attending my sister Lily Lambert’s match. In a bid for revenge, the criminal, who had once been captured by my dad, cut out my tongue and used my phone to call him. My dad only said one thing before hanging up. "No matter what’s going on, Lily’s match is the top priority today!" The criminal sneered, "Seems I’ve kidnapped the wrong person. I thought they would love their biological daughter more!" At the crime scene, my parents were shocked by the brutal state of the body and condemned the cruelty of the killer. However, they did not realize that the horrifically mutilated corpse was their own daughter.

Zeke and I always said we'd be best friends forever since we were pups. Everyone always assumed we'd end up as mates but we laughed it off. So when we both turned 18 and the string of destiny snapped into place tying us together, I was over the moon. But Zeke telling me he'd never mate with a mutt like me. Now my worst enemy Chris and I have a plan. "What if…we fake dated?" "What?" "Nothing would really piss Zeke off more than not only you saying no to being his breeder than also making him think we're getting each other's rocks off." "You in?" I stuck my hand out. "You got it, boyfriend."