Black Humor Jokes

Who is Eren? "My bodyguard." ~ Being the daughter of the wealthiest man of the town can be more problematic than one thinks. When a bunch of menaces frighten the Aiyer, a bodyguard is called to order. But he is not the typical bodyguard. No suit, no earpiece. Just a thick black leather jacket with grey jeans and black boots. But little does Hayat know who he is really. ~A refreshing, hot and romantic novel with a touch of mystery to sparkle your feelings~ Warning: Mature contents

After Noah's death, what greeted him was an AI system calling itself Black, offering him a job working for the World and Soul Management Bureau.  He has to travel to many different worlds, taking over an identity of some unfortunate soon-to-be-dead dude, and live out the remainder of his new life there however he wanted. Easy-peasy! ...Right? ...Ok, sure, there are a few small kinks here and there... like terrorist attacks, murder plots, zombie apocalypses, and the like... but one should always look at the bright side! Noah: "...Blackie, is it just me, or is this good brother of mine looking at me like a hungry wolf seeing a juicy piece of meat?" (°△°|||) Black: "Don't worry, host. He is just a bit excited due to nearly losing his life back there. You know, adrenaline." (¬‿¬) Noah: "…are you sure that's what's really going on here?" (っ °Д °;)っ Black: "Absolutely!" (≖‿≖) … ~ Many worlds later ~ Noah: "This secret mission that you can't tell me about… it can't possibly be to get fucked by the least appropriate target?!" (°ㅂ°╬) Black: "Of-of course not! Ho-how could that possibly be, eh?" (; ﾟ 3ﾟ )~♪ ML: Right, right, that's just a very (not so) coincidental bonus. Ψ(╹ڡ╹ )Ψ 💠 Author Note 💠 * SSC has long arcs. Each world is a fully-fledged novel on its own. * Don't let the summary (or the cover) fool you! While SSC does have an occasional explicit smut, it is primarily a fluffy and hilarious romance! * Pairings are one-on-one and taboo-ish. (E.g. hired assassin and his target, monster tamer and his tamed beast, master and disciple, siblings, brothers-in-law, etc.) * More info in the info chapter Author website: lucypandora.com Support the author on ko-fi: ko-fi.com/lucypandora Discord: lucypandora.com/discord

Being a chosen mate of Vincent Northgrey, the sole heir to the Winterhide Pack, meant that Iona had to leave her hometown--the Black Manes Pack. All preparations for Iona and Vincent's mating ceremony were complete. They only have to wait for Vincent to return from the hunt. However, besides bringing the catch, Vincent returned with a girl who was his fated mate. The day before her mating ceremony, Iona lost everything. So why is she now trapped in a mating cabin with a man she didn't know?

Amelia Black is known as the "rebellious girl" , she was the kinda girl your parents told you not to hang out with. Also known as "Black Rose" the undefeated street fighter. Amelia's life revolves around pain and tragedy but she refuses to let it break her, instead it makes her stronger. It's time for a fresh start in a new town with new people. With her past catching up to her can Amelia keep her past all a secret or, will a certain Mafia boss unleash every secret Amelia has hidden? Vincenzo De Luca is the Don of the Italian mafia, his name is feared by many due to him being heartless, cruel, ruthless and not sparing a soul from his wrath. He has the looks, the money and has every girl panting and dropping for him but what happens when a certain Amelia black piques his interest?

Vivienne Hart has always lived by her father’s rules. As the daughter of one of the most powerful businessmen in the city, her life was planned down to the man she was supposed to marry. But when she finally stands up for herself and ends the engagement meant to strengthen her father’s empire, everything spirals out of control. A heated argument sends her storming out of his office and straight into chaos literally as she crashes into a rugged biker with a reputation for danger. Zayden Black doesn’t appreciate being disrespected, especially not by a spoiled heiress who thinks money solves everything. But fate has a strange sense of humor, and their paths keep crossing in ways neither of them expects. What begins as hatred quickly turns into something deeper and totally forbidden. Vivienne’s father would do anything to keep them apart, even if it means destroying Zayden’s life. But Vivienne has had enough of being controlled and this time, she’s fighting for herself and for the man who risked everything to save her.

TRIGGER WARNINGS:  This book is explicitly sexual in some scenes with kinks like foreplay and spanking.Dive in homies let's see if you can handle this spice. The clicking of the door knob meant that he was in. “Did Riley call for you?" Kayla asked the guy who just entered as she scanned him under the dim light,this wasn't what she expected of a call boy,tall, muscular,thin waist,and to die for, that black hair that falls beneath the mask he wore.The messy but insanely handsome dk type with perfectly shaped jawline. “I heard my lady needs my touch" those flirtatious words got her smiling,somehow forgetting her worries as he advanced slowly towards her,inch by inch till he was a face away from her. She felt his hands going through her curves under her lingerie, missed emotions swept through her as she stared at the masked man before her. “SEX ME!" She mouthed as he let out a grin, taking her off her feet to the bed. 10 Nights is more than enough to have you yearning for more my dear readers READ IF YOU DARE

After another failed attempt at love, grief-stricken and orphaned Korina Black decides to move to New York to start afresh after swearing off men for good. But all that changes when she meets a hot doctor Cole smith and her life get messier when she finds out that she is being stalked by an evil mafia boss who is hell bent on having her all to himself and would trample anyone in his way.

"Stop," he said huskily. "Turn around." Something in his voice made her obey. His was a voice used to commanding, used to getting him his own way. Usually she hated being spoken to that way, but not tonight. Tonight she wanted to obey every command he gave to bring the evening to its logical, inevitable and very satisfying conclusion. She turned, slowly, giving him full view of her butt and the cotton thong slicing her cheeks in half. Aware of his black eyes on her, she did something she'd never done for any man. She swayed to a rhythm in her head. With her back facing him, Abbey ran her hands down her waist, round her gyrating hips and placed one on each cheek. She let them explore across her skin, enjoying the way she felt and knowing he wanted to do the same. She glanced over her shoulder, cheekily giving him a view of her breasts and behind at the same time. His face was distorted with desire as he stood, mesmerized. She turned to face him fully. "I want you," he whispered. ………………………………………………. A cheating husband. A hidden camera. A desperate woman in too little clothing. Abbey thinks she’s prepared to seduce Damien Vane for a paycheck—until his hands, his voice, and his body turn the assignment into something wickedly irresistible. One night was supposed to fix her life… not set it on fire.

They said opposite attracts but what happened if the two similar people crossed paths? Will they attract each other or just end up going into each other's nerves? Black is living peacefully when she met Daze- the guy who will turn her world upside down.Will she be able to say "everything is worth it" or regret meeting him?

After an accident, Averie's life changes drastically. She is hunted by two groups of werewolves that she never thought existed alongside humans. The werewolves from the demon pack want to get something from her, while the werewolves from the righteous pack just want to protect humanity and avoid the world plunging into chaos because of her. However, one person steps out and protects her at all times: Lance. He claims to be her protector, unaware of his hidden agenda in approaching her. While protecting her from danger, the two of them fall in love and vow to only love each other until their next life. But fate loves to play jokes on Averie's life. She discovers that she was the reincarnation of Avaria, a wicked and powerful black fairy in her past life, destined to bring disaster to humanity. The soul of Avaria has been dormant inside her body, waiting to awaken at the right time. But the cruelest twist of fate is that the person she loves and trusts the most is a werewolf protector from the righteous pack, who harbors the strongest desire to kill her. Lance is the very person who had taken the life of Avaria in her past life and is destined to do so once again in her present life. Will they defy their ill-fated destiny to attain the happiness they yearn for, or will they ultimately destroy each other, fulfilling Avaria's thirst for revenge? Can Averie succeed in proving that she is the true owner of her body, not by any woman from her past?