Book Jokes Humor Novels & Stories

I was giggling like a loon. “A corpse went to a rheumatologist, and said he was feeling rather stiff-” “That's hilarious!” I laughed. “That's not the joke-” “I love this cheese. Mmm. Cheese and crackers,” I sang, munching on the hors d'oeuvres. “Ooo! And there's brie! And crab dip-” “Do you want to hear the joke or not!” he boomed. “Eh, not really. No.”

“Jesse, my man, which is why I’m encouraging you to talk some more! It doesn’t have to be about anything life changing. If you were me I’d say crack a joke but I don’t know if you even know any jokes.” “I know jokes.” His face lit up. “Oh yes? Tell me one then.” “Can you guess what the therapist said when I told my therapist I’m scared of dying alone? “Uh, no what?” “He said, “Most people don’t die with the company,” I said, chuckling. “Get it?” Rain looked at Matt. “Matt, am I supposed to laugh at that?” “Ideally someone is supposed to laugh when they tell a joke,” Matt said with a sigh. “Jesse, what have I told you about your morbid jokes?”

“Hmm?” “If you keep talking like a LinkedIn motivational speaker, I’m going to throw up all over your father’s car interior.” He turned, blue eyes dropping to my face. “My joke was good.” “Your joke sounds like it was raised in a boardroom.” “That’s slander.” “That’s autobiography.”

It felt good—light, like a breath of fresh air in this park where the wind rustled the leaves around us. We sat on the bench after that, side by side, our shoulders almost touching. He started telling these silly jokes—the kind that weren’t even funny, just dry and ridiculous, like “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.” Corny as hell. But I laughed anyway, hard and genuine, because the real joke was how bad they were, how he delivered them with that straight face like he thought they were gold. It warmed me up inside, chasing away the chill for a bit.

“There’s no reason to be uncomfortable when he’s around, he’s even making things lighter with his presence, along with his silly jokes.” “That I couldn’t agree more,” She said and we both laughed. “Honestly, he should work on his jokes, they’re very bad.” We laughed at how we talked about Ethan’s corny jokes. However, I find his jokes amusing and appealing, maybe because he’s not used to doing it around other people that I think it’s cute when he does whenever he’s around us. It could be addicting when I thought about his jokes though.

I love it when Jorge smiles at me. We were laughing about my latest pay in Cards Against Humanity. The black card asked us to complete the sentence, “Nothing in life is certain except death and ….” I put “kids with ass cancer.” “Damn girl, you are against humanity,” Jorge joked, laughing like music to my ears. “Sorry, I didn’t have anything else,” I laughed back. Stretch my legs out and Jorge picks them up. He starts rubbing my ankles. “I can’t believe my pregnant sister made that joke,” Solen choked out as he laughed.

Why call me nerd every damn time ? I hated that word !! “None of your damn business, dumb fvck,” I replied, the anger coming from somewhere else. He smelt like oh gawd, did he sleep with the entire female university population here ? “Wow, you called me dumb. That is the joke of the century,” Lex laughed out loud while slapping his knee dramatically. Drama Queen, ughh !

He’d slipped on dark glasses and gone quiet. “Why do men have to have such huge vehicles? I think it must be a sexual thing. ‘Look at me. Mine’s bigger and better than yours.’” She heard a choking noise. “Are you all right?” He howled in laughter. “Do you always say exactly what’s on your mind?” “It’s a bad habit of mine.” Rand chuckled again. “Thanks for the laughs. I tend to be the opposite. My family says I’m too serious.” “I’ll be happy to cheer you up anytime you need it. Just call. If I’m at work, I’ll leave a recording of jokes.”

In reality it’s a spoon I once used to prove to this guy that I can, without a shadow of doubt, chop off a dick with a spoon alone, but it helped me win that bet, so ever since I’ve been treating it like an actual object of luck. Slowly, I creep down the halls, grinning like I hit the jackpot and occasionally making quick stops to peek into what must be rooms but like more demonic type of shit. By the time I check the third room, someone finally notices my presence and a long ass man stops in my way, scowling down at me. I look up and grin wider, “holy shit, you must be causing tsunamis when you piss from up there.” His eyebrows jump up, nearly reaching his hairline. The moron doesn’t laugh

Clutch asked. My head was pounding so hard from last night’s partying, I’d momentarily forgotten about the mouse under my eye, and who’d given it to me. “That’s strange,” I said, before pausing. “What’s that?” “I don’t remember one of the books I sent you while you were locked up being a joke book,” I replied. “Here’s a joke for you. Knock, knock…” “Who’s there?” “Go fuck yourself,” he said, before putting his helmet on.