Novel & Cerita Break My Heart Myself

This city's gonna break my heart She's always gonna break your heart Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oh Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh She got a hold of me She got me wrapped 'round her finger She got a hold on me She got me wrapped 'round her finger This city's gonna break my heart (oh, yeah) This city's gonna love me then leave me alone (it's gonna love me then leave me alone) This city's got me chasing stars (oh) It's been a couple of months since I felt like I'm home Am I getting closer to knowing where I belong? This city's gonna break my heart (hey, yeah) She's always gonna break your heart

I lay there alone in a bed that was far too big and lonely. I was already used to having bodies, touching hands, arms wrapped around me, and the sound of breathing. Now there was silence. And a dull ache in my chest. They made me and broke me just as Simon had done. At this point I knew I was only the one week fling but God it hurt Before dawn and before either of them could start their shifts, I packed my shit and checked out of the hotel.

"Please..." My voice broke. "Help me.”

Something inside me broke. The world shattered and fell silent.

No, they were from heartbreak, from the deep ache of betrayal that had settled in her chest like a stone. She reached the door, quickly entering and locking it behind her. Unlike that first day, when she had trembled at the thought of him, now she stood still, staring into the mirror. Only this time, she didn’t see his reflection behind her. She saw herself— her eyes red, her lips trembling, the sadness etched into every line of her face. Her broken self, her betrayed self.

"Hurry and change. Lydia will get scared if she sees you like this." I took the clothes without responding and walked into the bathroom. Hot water slammed against my torn back, and pain shot through me. I gasped, clutching the sink to keep from collapsing. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Torn flesh, bruises, and a face drained of all color. Exhaustion and despair etched into every line. And then I laughed. I laughed until tears spilled down my face. The drug trial would begin.

I asked my heart as I placed my hand on the left side of my chest. {Batum, Batum, Batum} I could hear it beating repeatedly. The insane emotion made me shut my eyes. “Calm down. Calm down”. I took deep breaths and tried to make myself calm down, but it didn't work, causing me to open my eyes. “No, this won't do. I must meet him. I can't keep on waiting for him to come”. I said and stood up from the sofa, before making my way outside the house, where I saw him breaking his car's plate number.

I didn't get how much it hurts until I found myself lying on the bathroom floor, tears rolling down my face, struggling to breathe, and crying a lot. It was like all those people who felt heartbroken before me. And you know what's worse? It wasn't Max who broke my heart; it was me, myself, and I. I didn't understand myself, didn't get what was going on, and, most importantly, didn't trust myself. ... —FLASHBACK—

I can hold my head high. Thank you for breaking me; isn't that a line from Sinead O'Connor? I never understood it before. It used to sound like permission, albeit retroactive, to hurt someone. I get it now. Only a lover can wound so deep, cut to the very core. That level of trauma has to be an inside job. You broke me and watched me bleed. You saw me fail to eat, fail to sleep, and you kept on the pressure with your lies and manipulations, increasing the level of cruelty as you went. After all that, what can there be left underneath but the untouchable part of me, my soul, the girl you can never hurt. I can't be more raw than that, more exposed, more pure. So thank you, because as Sinead sai

Her arms wrapped tightly around her frame, like she was trying to keep herself from falling apart in front of the world. And maybe I was the one who had torn her apart. No—not maybe. I did. I let Beatrice’s voice echo in my head again: “Break her in a way no one ever has. That’s what she deserves.” And I had. I broke her. But standing here now, watching her like this—silent, still, alone—I’d never hated myself more.