Calling Kettle Black

"You are Mine" He murmured across my skin. He inhaled my scent deeply and kissed the mark he gave me. I shuddered as he lightly nipped it. "Kirsten, you are mine and only mine, you understand?" Kirsten Saunders had a pretty rough life. After being heartbroken and betrayed by both her father and boyfriend, Kirsten moves to a small town to find the comfort of her mother. Everything is not what it seems and soon, Kirsten finds herself in the middle of the world she didn't even know existed outside of fiction novels and movies. Not only does the time seem bizarre, but her senses heighten, her temper is out of control, and her hunger amplifies. Throw in an arrogant, selfish, sexy, possessive player who didn't even want her in the first place, her life just seamlessly attracts madness. Especially with those creepy threats coming from a "Silver Bullet", she can't keep still.

Nate caught her hand as she turned away. “Say yes, Dahlia.” She didn’t look at him. “To what this time?” His smile was slow, dangerous. “To letting me eat you tonight” Her breath stilled. “You don’t take hints, do you?” “Only the ones that sound like maybe.” His thumb traced her palm, his voice low enough to make her heartbeat trip. She pulled back, just barely. “Goodnight, Nate.” He grinned, unbothered. “Night, wife. I’ll ask again tomorrow.” *********** When ruthless CEO Dahlia Reyes discovers her boyfriend and her best friend in bed together-and plotting to steal her inheritance—she does the most un-Dahlia thing imaginable. She drinks too much and wakes up married to a sex worker. Her “husband,” Nate, is charming, infuriating, and far too comfortable calling her wife. Dahlia’s ready to annul the whole disaster-until she learns she legally can’t for a year. Desperate to save face (and maybe twist fate in her favor), Dahlia decides to use the fake marriage to her advantage. What she doesn’t know is that Nate isn’t the broke drifter and he's watching her with equal parts amusement and admiration. Now, between public appearances, the plotting of the evil people ready to ruin their lives, staged affection, and the slow burn of something too real to fake, Dahlia’s carefully built walls begin to crack. And Nate? He’s determined to make sure she falls-for him, for real, and hard. A story of betrayal, accidental vows, and the slow, intoxicating fall between a woman who doesn’t believe in love and a man who plans to prove her wrong.

My best friend is a death angel named Faro, and my father works for the devil. I am an incubus demon who has a talking cat named Samson, who happens to be a cursed wizard stuck to live his life as a black cat, an annoying companion who sheds entirely too much. Being an incubus I survived solely on the pleasures of the flesh. I was Dipping my dick into a different woman almost every night for the past hundred years. Whether paid for or brought home to my penthouse from the local watering hole I had company quite frequently to feed my hunger. Cursed to earth I had unlimited wealth and countless numbers of females to recharge me at whim. My punishment from Lucifer wasn't all that bad. At least it wasn't until a wisp of a female brought me to my knees. Could I fall in love, for real? It was inconceivable even though I was named for it; it was the furthest from who and what I was. I was, at the very least, an uncaring prick. Could someone like me know what love was and did I want to know? That's the real question I asked myself. This is my story of how my demon heart started to beat after centuries of being a cold obsidian stone by a young redheaded female with unique secrets of her own. Could she love me enough to walk through the fires of hell for me? This is her story...

He’s the dracula that is determined to be the next Alpha. And he just rejected Angel as his mate. Angel want to hate his guts for ghosting her … but she can practically hear his wolf calling to hers.If determination had a name, this black wolf would be it. Tall, broad and muscular, he’s been training his whole life to take over as the new pack leader. With his sharp gray eyes and thick black hair, he looks every bit the part and his delicious scent makes it impossible for Angel to stay mad at him … or resist him.Angel pretends to hate him and never want him again yet not even proud Alphas or rejected mates can escape fate…How much longer can you resist the delicious pull?

Zoey Mitchell only wanted a quiet hike after college graduation. Instead, a hurricane ripped her out of her world and dropped her into Nytherra—a realm of magic, danger, and creatures that shouldn’t exist. The first thing she saw? A pack of wolves hunting her. The second? A massive black wolf with glowing blue eyes calling her mate. Alexander Veylor, Wolf King of Nytherra, is ruthless, brooding, and bound to a political alliance with a fae princess. He cannot afford the weakness of a human mate. But the bond between them burns hotter with every stolen glance, every forbidden touch, every dirty word growled in the dark. Yet in a world that despises humans, love is a liability—and betrayal waits at every turn.

Her breathing was ragged, her legs pumping as fast as they could, as she dashed through the dense trees. just a little further. Stopping at the shoreline, Margot rested her palms on her knees, panting. She hated running. But she hated the name calling more. Fatty, sasquatch, troll, she'd heard them all. Margot endured teasing for her looks, by her mother, sister l, and her peers. She never believed herself to be beautiful, or deserving of much at all... but maybe, just maybe she was somehow worthy of a mate... just maybe. Gavin spent his entire life training for his future as the Alpha of the Black River pack. He was ready and prepared for anything, that is, until he met her....

Being a chosen mate of Vincent Northgrey, the sole heir to the Winterhide Pack, meant that Iona had to leave her hometown--the Black Manes Pack. All preparations for Iona and Vincent's mating ceremony were complete. They only have to wait for Vincent to return from the hunt. However, besides bringing the catch, Vincent returned with a girl who was his fated mate. The day before her mating ceremony, Iona lost everything. So why is she now trapped in a mating cabin with a man she didn't know?

At 3:00 p.m., Rose Jenkins, the new hire who had barely been here a few days, suddenly tagged me in the company group chat with a few hundred people in it. [Hi, can you stop hammering your keyboard? The noise is making my stomach hurt! The baby I'm carrying is sleeping. If you shake it into a concussion, I swear I'll make your whole family pay for it!] I rushed to explain. I was racing to finish a proposal that was due soon, and I was using a silent keyboard. But she wouldn't believe me, no matter what I said. I kept my patience and explained it over and over. To avoid any more trouble, I even asked if I could move out to the hallway to work. What I didn't expect was that a week later, she would storm into the break room with a kettle of freshly boiled water and dump it straight over my head. I collapsed in a pool of scalding water, my skin blistering and tearing open. She kept screaming as if she had lost her mind and smashed my head with her high heels, over and over. "It's all your fault! I lost the baby! Your keyboard noise shook my son to death!!" My vision blurred. By the time everything went black, I still couldn't understand how a silent keyboard could possibly kill someone. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the day she first went off on me in the group chat. This time, faced with the same insults, I didn't back down. I went straight into the chat and fired back. [Stop pretending you're pregnant. You've got more going on down there than your dad does!]

"Stop," he said huskily. "Turn around." Something in his voice made her obey. His was a voice used to commanding, used to getting him his own way. Usually she hated being spoken to that way, but not tonight. Tonight she wanted to obey every command he gave to bring the evening to its logical, inevitable and very satisfying conclusion. She turned, slowly, giving him full view of her butt and the cotton thong slicing her cheeks in half. Aware of his black eyes on her, she did something she'd never done for any man. She swayed to a rhythm in her head. With her back facing him, Abbey ran her hands down her waist, round her gyrating hips and placed one on each cheek. She let them explore across her skin, enjoying the way she felt and knowing he wanted to do the same. She glanced over her shoulder, cheekily giving him a view of her breasts and behind at the same time. His face was distorted with desire as he stood, mesmerized. She turned to face him fully. "I want you," he whispered. ………………………………………………. A cheating husband. A hidden camera. A desperate woman in too little clothing. Abbey thinks she’s prepared to seduce Damien Vane for a paycheck—until his hands, his voice, and his body turn the assignment into something wickedly irresistible. One night was supposed to fix her life… not set it on fire.

After Noah's death, what greeted him was an AI system calling itself Black, offering him a job working for the World and Soul Management Bureau.  He has to travel to many different worlds, taking over an identity of some unfortunate soon-to-be-dead dude, and live out the remainder of his new life there however he wanted. Easy-peasy! ...Right? ...Ok, sure, there are a few small kinks here and there... like terrorist attacks, murder plots, zombie apocalypses, and the like... but one should always look at the bright side! Noah: "...Blackie, is it just me, or is this good brother of mine looking at me like a hungry wolf seeing a juicy piece of meat?" (°△°|||) Black: "Don't worry, host. He is just a bit excited due to nearly losing his life back there. You know, adrenaline." (¬‿¬) Noah: "…are you sure that's what's really going on here?" (っ °Д °;)っ Black: "Absolutely!" (≖‿≖) … ~ Many worlds later ~ Noah: "This secret mission that you can't tell me about… it can't possibly be to get fucked by the least appropriate target?!" (°ㅂ°╬) Black: "Of-of course not! Ho-how could that possibly be, eh?" (; ﾟ 3ﾟ )~♪ ML: Right, right, that's just a very (not so) coincidental bonus. Ψ(╹ڡ╹ )Ψ 💠 Author Note 💠 * SSC has long arcs. Each world is a fully-fledged novel on its own. * Don't let the summary (or the cover) fool you! While SSC does have an occasional explicit smut, it is primarily a fluffy and hilarious romance! * Pairings are one-on-one and taboo-ish. (E.g. hired assassin and his target, monster tamer and his tamed beast, master and disciple, siblings, brothers-in-law, etc.) * More info in the info chapter Author website: lucypandora.com Support the author on ko-fi: ko-fi.com/lucypandora Discord: lucypandora.com/discord