Cartoon Greg Heffley Novels & Stories

“I walked right into that.” Greg pulls me gently down beside him until my head rests against his chest. “You’re gonna pass your finals,” he murmurs softly. “You sound very confident for somebody who nearly failed high school chemistry.” “That teacher hated me.” “You set your experiment on fire.” “It was one time.” I burst out laughing. Greg smiles, hearing the sound against his chest.

His friend – brown hair, bad acne, and even worse judgment. I raised an eyebrow. “Tom,” I echoed thoughtfully. Then I clicked my tongue and looked between them with feigned curiosity. “Oh – Tom! Is that your friend Jerry?” Tom’s brows pinched together in confusion. “Jerry?” “Yeah. Tom and Jerry? You’ve… heard of television, right? That magical glowing box that plays pictures and stories? Sometimes even cartoons?” A few students around us snickered. It was a little childish, sure – but sometimes simplicity hits harder than sophistication. And watching a bully get roasted by cartoon references? Always satisfying.

His hand is forbidding me from erupting in boisterous laughter, and the other is holding me still. As my mouth is covered, we share a knowing look, acknowledging the hilarity in this. "Who the hell is named Hewey or Dewey. What the fuck?," he giggles. It just makes me laugh harder, but sensing a scream, he covers it tightly. I tend to scream when something is truly funny, and this is. Once Greg announced them, I pictured this vintage cartoon with ducks that had the same names. I swear the only thing keeping me quiet is his hand. Why is this so funny?

“I don’t know if you remember but you saved me from those bullies” “Bullies?” she tilted her head in confusion. “I bet your daddy gives you more than this, Lewis” Greg looked up as his knees buckled in fear. He had started high school a couple of months ago, and having started puberty later than most, he was generally smaller in build. Thus, he easily became a target for bullying. “I swear that’s all I have”, he pleaded. The bully was a boy that everybody called ‘ol Jack, probably because he preferred keeping his facial hair, which made him look a lot older than he was and a lot more formidable. It didn’t help either that he had a naturally tall height and plump body.

Then he replied, “You’re attracted to girls?” Steffy smirked some more as she reached for the drink in front of her. “Very good, Teacher Greg. “My turn, I have a scar on my face. The principal is my father. I want to get laid tonight.” Steffy suddenly blushed when he said his last statement. “Well, you don’t have a scar, and Mr. Seson is not your father.” “That’s right, Steffy. I want to get laid tonight.” “You’re kidding, aren’t you?” asked the girl breathlessly. The teacher found her reaction very funny.

I heard a commotion coming from some of the office girls across the room which broke me out of my mind swirl. “Have you seen Mr. Hottie out there with the super sports car.” One of them gushed. Please don’t let this be Logan. I thought. The girls were all gushing over some guy outside. I looked over one of their shoulders and sighed. “Leah, isn’t that the guy who was at the bar last week?” One of my closest colleagues asked me a little too loudly, to drop me in it. “Yeah, that’s Logan Carter.”

"I heard everyone is going to be there." Grayson attended the same school as me, surprising I didn't notice him until we got to campus. Tin said he was pretty popular at that time. Guess I was so crazy about Nathan to notice other guys. "What are you watching?" I ask pulling my leg under me in a monk style. "Early men." He reply. "Its a cartoon." I say with wide eyes. "You watch cartoons?" "You don't." He scowls rhetorically. "who doesn't." I bounce on the soft couch, stealing more popcorns.

But the second I saw him sulking down the street in that thing, my laughter burst out so loud half the town turned to stare. “You look adorable,” I said between wheezes. “Like a Disney princess’s bodyguard.” He growled. “Say one more word and I’ll make you regret it.” “Oh, I’m already regretting not taking a picture.” By the time we reached the human bank, I was still giggling. Gregor, however, was dead serious. He marched up to the counter, all Alpha menace, and said, “I need to make a withdrawal.” The employee, a twenty-something with a neat tie, glanced at Gregor’s neon hoodie, then at his mud-smeared jeans, then back at his face. “Sir… do you even have an account here?”

A basketball star in their school, Ash called himself “a big fish in a little pond.” Greg starred on the high school football team. He played defensive and offensive end and liked the job to batter through the opposition and tackle the quarterback. Greg’s friends described him as a big guy with a bigger heart. Greg, the “Teddy Bear,” got that nickname from his classmates for standing up for kids who got bullied by school butt-heads. He was a friendly guy but if you bullied another kid and wanted to keep your teeth in your mouth, it behooved you to walk away. That’s what Julie liked about her Teddy Bear. Gentle and kind to her, he was protective in every way.

Helena was safe. But far from fine. And what she’d survived… what she was still determined to fight… weighed heavy on him. He reached for the aux cable and played a voice memo Theo had left months ago—one where he was ranting about how one day, “Brentford’s masks would fall.” Greg’s jaw tightened. “You were right, man,” he whispered. “And we’re going to finish it for you.” Scene – Carter Mansion, Greg’s Bedroom Later that night, Greg entered his room, tossed his keys onto the table, and stood in front of the large pinboard that stretched across one side of the wall.