I'm Alive But Im Actually Dying Novels & Stories

The air around me felt thicker, heavier. I closed my eyes and let out the loudest scream I could manage, feeling the intense heat rising to my face. My tears burned like boiling water as they trickled down my cheeks, each drop leaving an invisible scar. What was wrong with me? Reality hit like a slap to the face—I was truly dying, and no one could save me.

Because I had just had my stomach pumped, the kick made my abdomen feel like someone had stabbed me and twisted the knife violently. A sickening taste of copper rushed into my mouth. I spat out a mouthful of blood, and my knees went weak before the two men. “Mr. Longham, Dr. Davies, please let me be. I just want to die.” Lee and Ethan were bewildered. Ethan frowned. “Is this a new game? Guilt-tripping us with your life?” “No,” I responded, my eyes bloodshot. “I met Mom’s System. I was told that I would join Mom when I died. Please, just let me die.

the doctor mutters behind me, and my heart breaks even more. I moan and slide down to the ground, gripping my constricting chest. “It is not true. I don't believe it!" I cry out. It feels like I am dying. No, it feels like I am dead already. How will I live with such a reminder? I shake my head, still doubting, still believing he is alive. "I told you, didn't I?” A voice speaks up behind me, and I freeze, drowning in pain, agony, and anger.

I was told to stand straight, to smile, to look the part of a proud Alpha-to-be. But all I could think about was dying. Not in the melodramatic sense. Not the kind of dying where you hope someone will come to save you at the last moment. I mean the quiet kind. The kind where you know you won’t make it out of the night alive, and there’s nothing you can do but wait. Because if Selena did know what I knew… then I was already dead.

It was a perfect, beautiful day. But as I opened my mouth to breathe, nothing happened. There was no oxygen in this beautiful world. My heart gave one final, sluggish thump. I stared up at the sun, watching the light flicker. I was so tired of dying. Over and over, I had woken up only to feel the life leave me again. "Please," I croaked, though no sound came out. "Just let it be over."

Money always talks and I have more than enough right now. My strength was beginning to ebb; my poundings came at longer intervals; my feet beat the painstakingly slow rhythm of a burial march. I drew in ragged breath after another, inviting the foul fingers back into my throat again and again – a demented adult film of sickening proportions. A squeak from rusty hinges; someone was coming in – or going out, I realized. They were leaving him there to die of hunger and thirst. No! No, no, no, no!

They were human, men I'd known for days, men who had once been filled with life and power, but now, they were nothing. I think I was in shock. If I'd been myself, I'd be hiding from Finn. But I was too broken. By the time Finn knocked on the doorframe and peeked inside, I hadn't moved. I was still in the same place, still dirty, still shattered. People believe death happens when you stop breathing when your eyes close for good. But the truth is, not everyone who dies lies in a grave. Even an eighteen-year-old girl in the bathroom of a ruthless murderer who kidnapped her and swore to keep her alive can be dying inside, every second of her life slipping away, and no one knows.

She gave me a tired look. “ That is why we are craving for a home. I use to think we're existing because we are here to live and die later. But I realized, living while dying is possible. No one seems to understand us the way we understand ourselves. It's crazy to think we can give comforts to others we wish we could give to ourselves.”

My eyes are slowly closing on their own but before they are completely close, I saw not one but two silhouettes coming in my direction. I smiled. Are they fetching me that early? That's when I realized, it's the ending of my story. I died. It may not be physically. But I died. Mentally. Please, someone, save me. Save me.

I can feel it, my soul slipping away. “Let me die; I don’t deserve to be alive,” I said, removing all the wires from me. “Please stop it; you are truly dying,” Maven cried. “Let me die,” I hissed, falling on the bed, and my sight was getting blurry. There was a commotion in the ward, and Maven cried loudly. The doctors brought the defibrillator, but I was gone, falling into darkness. *****************