Cow Joke Novels & Stories

To think that he was the one for her, her soul mate, brought her so much pain the moment she found out he actually wasn't. The truth came slapping right across her face and she was there, embarrassed, broken and deadly hurted, under the dusty grounds and before everybody's eyes. 'For a man I once loved, I couldn't believe what was unfolding before my eyes. But I knew i had to move on and I did, busying myself with my last days at college for the peace of my heart'. Elva was left with no choice but to move to another pack when the Luna of her former pack sent rogues to finish her. Just because she was the Alpha's ex and way too intelligent compared to her, the Luna of the pack. "Get your lousy hands off her!" He roared out loudly, enough to make all of us shake along with the ground beneath us. Then like a joke they were all ripped off and left into nothingness. "They sent people to kill you, which means they gave up on you! Emerald pack is now your home" he spoke and scooped me in his arms. For a moment I felt like the world has come to a stop, no words came out of my slightly parted lips. 'The masked senior from the college! he saved me!' Were the only words repeating in my head over and over again like a broken tape until I lost consciousness. Living in a new pack wasn't the safe heaven she thought it would be, one reason not being accepted by one of the most respected person of the pack. What happens when something that occurred in a wrong way but turns out to be the best thing to ever happen to your life?

During freshman boot camp, my roommate covered herself from head to toe in her homemade sunscreen every day. It made her skin fair and soft, and made her smell so sweet that she drew the attention of countless young men. Even my rich boyfriend led the campaign to crown her campus beauty queen. But only I knew the fragrance she added to her sunscreen was toxic. It would make her skin rot if she used it for a long time. I said nothing. Instead, I quietly applied to switch dorms. In my last life, I had warned her out of kindness. She cried in front of everyone and said I was trying to isolate her. All the young men called me jealous. My boyfriend broke up with me in anger, then pursued her instead. It didn't take long for my roommate's skin to really start rotting, and I rushed to apply the salve made from an old family recipe. The wounds healed, but her skin turned dark and rough. She went from campus beauty queen to campus joke overnight. My boyfriend dumped her, and the other young men avoided her like the plague. She blamed everything on my jealousy. On the day she was forced to withdraw from university, she tied me up on the top floor of a university building. Then she poured a bucket of sulfuric acid over my head. "It's all because of your accursed salve that everyone's laughing at me! You ruined my chance to marry into a rich family!" I died from the torment. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on the first day of my university's freshman boot camp.

"Why pretend you don't want us when your nipples are hard?" Oliver's hands slid slowly under my skirt. I swallowed hard, feeling a lump in my throat. I grasped his hands, but his brother Owen yanked them away. "Because I hate you all! I can't help but wonder why moon goddess made you guys my mates." Their laughter filled the room as if a hilarious joke had just been told. Gradually, his fingers made their way to my pussy skin, then I caught a glimpse of the three brothers whose gaze was fixed on my exposed body. "You must keep this between us because this bond is forbidden. We will fuck you whenever we want because you belong to us" Owen declares as I looked away from them, but Orion gently turned my face towards them, their eyes filled with lusts. There are many secrets we keep for future sake, but what if there are more darker ones to discover? ---------- Miranda's life took an unexpected turn when she was betrayed and rejected by her high school boyfriend because she was a weak omega. Devastated, She also finds out her mum was getting married to a billionaire Lycan King. Accepting a new father was difficult, but that was only the beginning of her challenges. When she met the Lycan King's sons, she discovered they were her former bullies 'The Lycan Triplets' from high school, and to make matters worse, she was fated to be their mate. How will she cope with this situation? What will happen when their parents finds out that they are mates which is forbidden? Of course it has to be kept hidden but for how long? Also will the Triplets continue to bully her, or seek her forgiveness?

By the time I hit twenty without a husband, I'd become the joke of Butcher's Alley. I wasn't about to just take it, so I marched out to the pauper's graveyard and dragged home a half-dead man I found there. He was gorgeous. More handsome than any portrait I'd ever seen. It didn't matter that he'd lost his memory and wasn't quite right in the head. It didn't matter that he couldn't lift a crate or carry a load, that he nearly fainted dead away the first time he watched me slaughter a pig. I slapped my knee and made up my mind. "You're the one. You handle looking pretty, and I'll handle bringing home the bacon." I named him Walt and treated him like he was made of glass. I fed him well, kept him comfortable, and slowly nursed him back to health until his cheeks were full and his skin was soft. Then I started planning the wedding. On our wedding night, I'd just gotten his wedding coat off when the front door flew off its hinges. Hundreds of royal guards dropped to their knees all at once, their voices shaking the walls. "Welcome back to the capital, Grand Chancellor!" I looked down at the man beneath me. The warmth in his eyes was gone, replaced by something cold and sharp. The belt I'd been holding snapped right in two. I was done for. I'd been bossing around the most powerful man in the empire for six months and using him as a house husband. Was I looking at death by slow torture, or would they wipe out my entire family?

One week before our marking ceremony, my Alpha Mate, Corey Black, looks me straight in the eye and says something unbelievable, "I want to have a pup with my long-time friend Willow." At first, I assume it's a terrible joke, but I see determination in his serious expression. I suppress the churning feeling in my stomach and ask him why. He sighs, his gaze gentle as if he's soothing an unreasonable child. "Willow's old Beta father is dying. His only dying wish is to see Willow have a pup. We're doing it through IVF, so it won't hurt our relationship. "Her father devoted his entire life to the pack. You wouldn't refuse to fulfill even his dying wish, would you? You wouldn't be that cruel, right?" I don't know how to respond. He speaks as if not letting my fated mate have a pup with another woman is selfish. Later, when I go to visit the gravely ill old Beta, Corey is holding Willow Lester in his arms. His hand gently strokes her hair as he lets her sob against his chest. The moment our eyes meet, pain strikes my very soul. My wolf lets out a desperate howl of anguish. I stumble away, only to receive a text from him on the day of our marking ceremony. "Honey, Willow and I are undergoing the IVF procedure. Let's postpone the ceremony for now." I stare blankly at those words, my hand unconsciously moving to my still-flat stomach. Since he wants so badly to have a pup with another woman, I will grant his wish and disappear with my pup.

My mother-in-law, Emma Grant, and I return to the country in advance during Christmas Eve. We originally plan on giving our respective husbands a huge surprise by showing up at Grant Manor. But the moment we arrive at the front door, we find out that the entire manor is painted in pink. A rich lady quickly blocks our way. "This is a private Christmas Eve party, you know! Not anyone is allowed entry! Besides, I don't recall having invited you here! Get lost now!" Emma frowns at her. "What a joke! Why do I need your permission to come here?" The lady shoots Emma a dark smirk in return. "Do you have any idea who the owner of this manor is? It belongs to my husband, Edward Grant! "In fact, Edward's the one who specifically threw this party just for me! Since you're dressed like a slut at this age, that just means you're planning to use this opportunity to seduce my darling husband!" My mind begins buzzing loudly. Isn't Edward Grant my father-in-law, who married into the Grant family as a live-in son-in-law? How could he be this lady's husband instead? Then, the lady catches sight of my phone's lock screen, which is my wedding portrait with my husband, Caleb Grant. She roars, "Oh, I see! You two are a pair of shameless minxes! It seems you've found out that my adoptive son, Caleb, is about to get engaged with my daughter tonight! That's why you're here to cause chaos, right?" Emma and I swap glances with each other in confusion. It turns out that both Edward and Caleb have been cheating on us this whole time. But then again, these two men are living off the Grant family! What makes them think they have the right to have side chicks on their own?

Jax saw the brunette, blonde, and redhead walk in the door. It's got to be a sin for 3 gorgeous women to be together. He thought this could be the beginning of a sexy joke, a brunette, blonde, and redhead walk into a biker bar. Trouble times 3 just walked in the door. Alert the officers." Raine gets a job with the Veteran's MC. She falls for Jax. His player ways cause trouble. She doesn't share. He won't be tamed. She's no one's property. Raine barely escaped a bad relationship. She's lost all her family except for her two best friends she's grown up with. She's learned to become independent and rely on herself. Jax is President of the motorcyle cllub. All the brothers have served in the armed forces. He's a rough, tough, true biker who likes his women and no commitments. These two clash big time. Ex's often pop back up. And the problem with club women is they tend to constantly show up causing drama and trouble. He's cold as Ice. She's sweet as honey. His past defines him. She wants to be his future. He thinks she doesn't belong in his world! Kim won't accept anything less than being with Ice. Sam is a nurse. Smokey is an officer in the MC. They both don't do relationships. Is that about to change? What happens when two becomes three? An ex complicates things, or does she give them the push they need to become the family they should be? Snake is Prez to another MC. Will he give up everything to become a third with Sam and Smokey? What kind of hell and trouble do their kids get into? Life is never boring in club life. Follow this badass biker story. +18, daily updates, and fast paced action!

“Please, don’t marry him. I love you. How am I supposed to live without you?” Williams’s voice broke as he pleaded, desperation seeping into every word. Slowly, deliberately, Elodie slid the engagement ring off her finger. Without hesitation, she hurled it at him, the sharp metallic sound of it hitting the ground cutting through the air like a knife. “Get lost, Williams,” she spat, her tone icy. “I never want to see your face again.” Williams stared down at the ring, the very one he had chosen with so much love and care, now lying discarded like it meant nothing. Without another word, he turned and walked away, his steps heavy. He didn’t look back, and with every step he took, the distance between them felt insurmountable. As his figure disappeared from view, Elodie stood frozen, her body trembling. The tears she had been holding back finally spilled over, and she collapsed to her knees. The ring, still glinting faintly on the ground, caught her eye. With shaking hands, she reached for it and cradled it in her palm. Her sobs grew louder as she pressed the ring to her lips, her tears soaking into her skin. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice barely audible through the sobs. “I’m so sorry, Williams.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In the struggle for dominance, Elodie Richards unknowingly becomes a pawn— an object of a cruel joke that shattered her once blissful life. Falling prey to an evil scheme, she let go of the one thing that mattered most in her life; Williams Storm. When the truth comes to light, will Elodie be able to right her wrongs and win back the heart she shattered into pieces, even when Williams' once–loving eyes are filled with nothing but contempt for her?

I never wanted any part in this. But I have no choice. With a deep sigh, I force down an invisible lump in my throat, looking up at the priest. I press my fingers tighter into the flower I am holding, hoping it hides how much I am shaking. Dreading the words the priest is about to utter. “Do you, Ariella Cecilia Boone, take Dermos Salvatore to be your lawfully wedded husband?” The priest asks. I blink. I badly want to say it, badly want to scream that I am not Ariella Cecilia Boone. My lips tremble as I force the truth down my throat, “Yes, I do.” I murmur, my voice a little over a whisper. ~~~~ Ariel Hannah Boone didn't know what life had in store for her when she woke up on her twin sister's wedding day, only to find out her sister had run away. She went into panic when her mother insisted she take her place because Dermos Salvatore was no man to joke with. Dermos was the most feared Don in the whole of Sicily, one who killed without care. A blood thirsty murderer with no remorse. In an attempt to save her family from his wrath, she takes her sister's place at the wedding. Pain, suffering, and betrayal are all she knows the moment she became his. Secrets begin to unveil as she realises her family isn't what it seems. And when whispers of her sister's disappearance reach her, she finds out the truth. He never wanted Ariella; it had always been her. Ariel has to choose between a love built on lies or betraying her sister and family. She was his bride, and he was her prison, yet he would never let her go.

A dark romance, vividly grotesque, morally questionable, fate-defying, vampirically induced tale of happily ever after. With a little bit of dark humor, of course. ****** Tessa was one of the best assassins for hire, she lives for the thrill of the kill. The blood of her victims never tainted her subconscious. Until one day there was a threat to her life. She had three months to live. Tessa was doomed, she had tried everything and she knew she couldn't get out of her impending death. And what did Tessa do when she only had three months to live? She made a bucket list. She had been busy with her lust to kill that she didn't get to live a normal life, after all, she was a psychopath. Within weeks numbers were being crossed off from her list, from having tacos for breakfast, the morning after sex, and somewhere on the list was falling in love. Tessa wrote that as a joke, but deep down she wanted to feel it, she wanted to be able to love someone before she died. Fun fact: Psychopaths are almost incapable of truly loving another. Will Tessa manage to cross everything on her list? ***** The Angel of Death, that was what they called him. Nero Severus Xerxes was a vampire King who was among the oldest. Nero had taken lives, he had taken humans, vampires, and other supernatural beings. Yet none would challenge him. He was a possessive bastard, he was a ruler, a sadistic male who protects what was his. One day Nero was faced with the most beautiful woman with a strange view of death. She even had a bucket list. As a vampire King who had lived a thousand lives her careless attitude intrigued him. Will Nero fall for her?