Cow Joke

A dark romance, vividly grotesque, morally questionable, fate-defying, vampirically induced tale of happily ever after. With a little bit of dark humor, of course. ****** Tessa was one of the best assassins for hire, she lives for the thrill of the kill. The blood of her victims never tainted her subconscious. Until one day there was a threat to her life. She had three months to live. Tessa was doomed, she had tried everything and she knew she couldn't get out of her impending death. And what did Tessa do when she only had three months to live? She made a bucket list. She had been busy with her lust to kill that she didn't get to live a normal life, after all, she was a psychopath. Within weeks numbers were being crossed off from her list, from having tacos for breakfast, the morning after sex, and somewhere on the list was falling in love. Tessa wrote that as a joke, but deep down she wanted to feel it, she wanted to be able to love someone before she died. Fun fact: Psychopaths are almost incapable of truly loving another. Will Tessa manage to cross everything on her list? ***** The Angel of Death, that was what they called him. Nero Severus Xerxes was a vampire King who was among the oldest. Nero had taken lives, he had taken humans, vampires, and other supernatural beings. Yet none would challenge him. He was a possessive bastard, he was a ruler, a sadistic male who protects what was his. One day Nero was faced with the most beautiful woman with a strange view of death. She even had a bucket list. As a vampire King who had lived a thousand lives her careless attitude intrigued him. Will Nero fall for her?

"I intend to propose to Naditya, uncle, aunt." Crazy. This is crazy. Please say that this is just a dream. Now! I tried to hold back my laughter. What's the word? Apply? Seriously! This is the most goals joke as long as I've heard. "You're kidding, huh? I swear! So funny. Wow! If you participate in stand-up comedy, I make sure you can be the winner. " "Na," said Bunda quietly. Chiko still showed a smile. "I'm serious and this is not a joke. You can tell the difference too, right?" Shit! "Ekhm ....like this Chiko, my wife and I really appreciate your good intentions. And Nana is our only daughter. We don't want Nana to be wrong in choosing a partner. ”Father began to voice, issuing his words of wisdomand I can only nod my head and wait for Chiko's response when my father refuses his proposal. "Yes, Uncle. I understand." "Since childhood, Nana has always been well looked after. Even the slightest wound, I immediately treated it. Because of that, I don't want Nana to be hurt by anyonee specially at his current age, he is still in a period of instability. He still can't tell the difference between really good and bad. " Good, Dad. Take out all your wise words. I'm curious, a lecturer who is so adored by students on campus, his application was rejected by the owner of this standard nose. "Because of that, we decided to ...." Ouch, Dad! Why do you have to hang it? Just say if you -, .... "Accept your application." "WHAT ?!"

"What's an Omega like you doing here?" he sneered. "Don't you belong in the slum, or something?" His friends snickered at his cruel joke, and I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I tried to ignore them and head to the empty table, but Eric wouldn't let it go. "Look at her, pretending to be a real wolf," Eric sneered. "As if an Omega could ever be anything more than a loser." *********************** Shannon’s life has always been hard as an Omega. She is bullied and abused by the pack members everyday. She has only one wish: to find her true love on her eighteenth birthday and runaway with him. But her hopes are shattered when she finds out she is mated to Alpha Eric, the most desired Alpha in school. Eric rejects her blatantly and taunts her publicly for being weak. She moves to a different pack, hoping to start afresh but things are not quite different there. She has new stepbrothers, the Alphas triplet sons, who turn out to be her worst bullies. They hate Shannon and her mom for trying to take their dead mother’s place. But what happens when they find out that they are all mated to the girl they humiliate constantly? There’s a struggle for her, each one desiring to have her for himself. But Shannon can only choose one of them but must she? Will she end up with all three brothers and how will she navigate her complex relationship with them?

(Completed) It was supposed to be a normal visit to her Grandmother for the weekend ... Mia was supposed to spend a couple days in peace and quite with her granny until her best friend decided to tag along... The visit was going well and everything was set up right when suddenly it all turned into a nightmare.. A nightmare that she and Kevin would never forget for as long as they both lived... All it took was ONE JOKE ... ONE PRANK .... And their lives and fates were tangled together turing everything upside down beyond their imagination and limits, exposing their true selves along the way... ****Out of sudden Kevin came to my side and lifted me up on his shoulders with my head back and ran towards the attic in one swift move. I was shocked that I couldn't say or respond. His actions froze my mind instantly. I never thought he would do that. Then he put me down right in front of the attic door and pushes it open with his hands. CRREEEEEAAAAAAAAKKK The sound of the door opening gave me an instant shiver, my breathing stopped and I almost fainted. It felt like he was opening the door to my grave while i was still alive and threw me inside. I held onto Kevin's arms for support and he dragged me into the dark room as he stepped in ****

Jack's first love, Alice, came in for her prenatal checkup. Tested positive for Corrosion Sickness. I told him right away. But Jack insisted I was spouting nonsense and went around the pack slandering me—claiming I had no medical ethics, that my surgical skills were a joke, and that I’d killed a fellow werewolf through malpractice. Because of him, the Werewolf Medical Association revoked my healer title, and I was nearly torn apart by the patient’s furious family! On our third mating anniversary, Jack sank silver into my veins. I begged him to save me, but he locked me in a cellar and left me there to die. "Just die already," he said. "I need your estate to have marking ceremony with Alice." The next second, I opened my eyes—I wasn’t dead. I was reborn! I was reborn on the day Alice came in for her prenatal checkup! This time, I won’t tell him the truth. I’m leaving that scumbag behind! Let him and Alice enjoy their filthy love!

Mukgu is a forever alone girl, no boyfriend since birth and no parents. She is living alone. Mukgu is envious of those girls who have boyfriends. She wants to have a perfect boyfriend and experience love. Blake is Mukgu's dream boy. He's an all girls' ideal type but he's a naughty and mean guy. But then one day, Mukgu just felt that she can't really have him because of too much depression, so she tried to search I want a perfect boyfriend" on the internet and clicked on a website which she saw from a flyer. This new weird website says that she can have her ideal boyfriend once she purchases a product from them. She took it only as a joke but the next day, her perfect boyfriend arrived from SOS planet and he's a robot. How is Mukgu going to deal with a robot boyfriend? How about her dream boy? Is she going to take the risk of falling in love with a robot? Or will she choose to stay with her dream boy?

My daughter has a sudden allergic reaction, and my husband, an expert in these things, is the only one who can save her. I call him at this critical juncture, but his childhood sweetheart is the one who answers. "Clinton is busy. He wants me to tell you not to call him if it's not important." There's no time for me to get mad. I say anxiously, "Tell him to come to the hospital now. Ivy has had an allergic reaction and is waiting for him to save her." Clinton Reeves says impatiently, "Gemma and I are just watching a soccer match. Do you have to joke around with Ivy's life? I'm so disappointed in you." Later, Ivy dies in the hospital, her body covered in rashes. I wipe my tears and call Clinton once more. I say icily, "Let's get a divorce." The first thing I hear is his and Gemma Walken's laughter. After a while, he says, "Sure, but Ivy is mine."

Three years ago, my mother and I got into a car accident. My father immediately got himself a new wife. His illegitimate daughter, Kaitlyn Lee, was only two years younger than me. Kaitlyn and I became the butts of the joke of the whole country from fighting over my mother’s inheritance. Aaron White ignored his family members’ objections and married me. He drove Kaitlyn away and saved Stance Corporation. I thought Aaron loved me very much until I accidentally overheard his conversation with Kaitlyn. “When are you divorcing her? I’m pregnant.” “I’ll divorce her when she agrees to transfer all her shares to me. Then I’ll marry you.” “I really wish she had died like her mother.” “If we managed to plot her demise the first time, we could do it again.” I almost fainted from hearing the truth. I clamped my hand over my mouth as tears streamed down my cheeks.

A man kidnaps me ,His name is Alessio ,A capo ,rutless killer,He is respected and feared by all.Lord of the underworld Master of all the criminal masterminds who ever crawled the underbelly of Sicily's notorious mafia company.My Father owes him ,and I was taken as the debt .He took me as a payment and forced me as his wife .He gets what he want without a cost ,and I am his new toy that he is obsessed with breaking as if I will let him.He’s out to destroy me but I'll go toe to toe with him every step of the way...I'll do everything to make him fall for me.Then he springs the ultimate surprise And I realize the joke is on me.

“ Do you think I would accept you?" Alpha Gregory baritone voice hits Stephanie hard as memories of the night before played before her. Did she just get rejected by her mate who happened to be the alpha of the pack after a steaming one night stand with him? In anger, she accepted the rejection but left that same night, not wanting to be in the pack with the man who just rejected her. What she didn't know was that the Moon goddess might just be playing a joke on her! Stephanie hadn't gotten over the heartache from Alpha Gregory when she met her second chance mate. Same man she gave herself to just to repay him for saving her. “ You are my mate and I am not ready to reject you, not in a million years sweetheart!" Davies said, smiling. What would she do when the two men discovered she was pregnant and wanted to keep her to themselves? Who would she accept to be her soulmate or would she just keep both? Who said a lady can't have them all? Find out Stephanie's decision in this twisted story!