Crude Jokes Novels & Stories

Leena and Zack are two best friends from childhood. The modern day Bonnie and Clyde, their relationship was the envy of many. Especially, that of her Stepmother Lily and step sister, Kara. Both children of Billionaires, their relationship is threatened when their parents suggest a union between the two of them. Zack's family ran an oil company which wanted to divert into raw materials trade. Leena's father's Company is involved in the refining of raw materials like crude oil and other resources for factories as well as other businesses. The oil business is good, but they see the need to expand, and Leena's Father, Mr. Davis thinks it would be a great idea to link up with them. That is when the idea to get married comes up. The idea to set up a relationship between Zack and Leena surfaces. After years of maintaining a civil and loving relationship, Leena is surprised at how much Zack's attitude changes towards her after their engagement. He treats her with contempt and swears to make her life miserable. Leena's fatehr had pleaded with her to accept the marriage proposal for the sake of saving the Company, even though she knew it was a terrible idea and did not want to go ahead with the marriage. Not until she returns from a business trip, and Zack proposes to her.

During the five years I was in a vegetative state, all ten family soldiers assigned to guard me were murdered. One of them merely smoked a cigarette outside my hospital room. The next day, he was found upside down, drowned in a toilet. Another simply adjusted my pillow. The next day, he took a dive from a skyscraper rooftop. The Corleone family was in chaos, but they couldn't find a single trace of the killer. With no other choice, the ten executions, all textbook Mafia hits, became cold cases. Strangely, the very second the tenth guard's heart stopped, I opened my eyes. The first thing I did upon waking was call the FBI and turn myself in. The agents were stunned. "Miss Corleone, are you saying that while in a coma for five years, you planned and executed the murders of ten fully armed Mafia soldiers?" My fingers tapped lightly on the table, a faint smile playing on my lips. "That's right." "Being in a vegetative state only means I couldn't move." "Who ever told you that killing, something so crude, required me to get my hands dirty?"

As the Alpha King’s daughter and heir to the throne, Erendina Arden is known as the most envied wolf in the kingdom. She’s said to be the most sought-after woman in the realm, respected and adored for her bravery, her purity and her beauty. Or so it seems in their eyes. Behind the perfect facade the twenty-year-old princess puts on is a troubled girl with secrets. Too many secrets that not only burden her, but threaten her very existence. When the dirtiest secret of hers she would do anything to keep falls into the hands of another, the price for his secrecy starts something sinful and messy between them. It’s meant to be nothing more than a means to keep his mouth shut, but Emilian Monroe is a man unlike anyone else she’s ever known. Too mysterious. Too good looking. Too flirty. With his crude mouth and even cruder gazes, he’s able to do what most have tried but failed—steal her heart. With him, Erendina thought she could let go of her burdens. Until she learns Emilian also has a secret of his own. One that not only ruins her but threatens everything she thought she knew.

"You have a thing for kissing, don't you?" "Try starving for 3 years with your craving staring right at you. You would have this crude desire too" Romance is that one topic that triggers anxiety in Sarah Patel–A sweet and sexy realtor who had just landed a milestone in her life, a new house. Who could be better to guide her in the topic if it wasn't for her childhood best friend, Michelle Ricci– A hot Italian version of a psychiatrist. They have shared all the sweets and sours their 26 years of life have to offer. Mike's attachment to her has blossomed into something a little bit more tangible during his 3 years of overseas stay. Confessing his feelings to himself is one thing but confessing to her and earning her love in return is a whole other thing, especially with her insecurities in life, rooted deep by childhood abuse. To make matters worse, Suman Mehtra, a rich businessman barges into the picture; also after her hand in marriage. Things take the worse turn possible when Mike's moments of anger get his best and pulls Sarah down a hell path. Will he ever own her love to be cherished as his sweetheart–forever and after?

Mia Hartley felt her heart pound with disbelief as she stood at the altar, staring at Nicholas Hernandez, her former tormentor from high school, now poised to be her husband.The memories flooded back,the cruel jokes, the relentless bullying. How could fate be so cruel as to bind her to him in marriage? Nicholas, now successful and charming, had meticulously planned this marriage to secure his inheritance. However, he became shocked when he saw Mia at the altar and also Mia’s best friend. . . Meanwhile, Mia's supposed friend, who harbored hidden animosity since high school, was equally stunned. As Mia's bridesmaid, she realized Nicholas, the groom, is the guy who she has been trying to force herself on for the past ten years. What happens when Mia realizes that her friend is her greatest enemy? How would Mia cope being married to her bully who she is scared of?

Tia has always been labelled a spoiled brat, but this perception is misleading; it’s a carefully crafted act. As the youngest in the Alpha pair of the Cherry Ridge Pack, she feels overlooked while her brother, Simon, is groomed for leadership, and her sister, Hilary, is pampered and praised as their perfect daughter. Her loyal companion, Meadow, is her hidden blessed wolf, a gift she received after surviving a trafficking attempt. One morning, Tia discovers her family and pack brutally slaughtered. Realizing her only refuge lies with her arranged mate, Delta Allan Price, the cousin of the Alpha at Ravens' Peak Pack, she sets out on a dangerous journey. Miles Roberts, Beta of the Fisher Brooks Pack and twin brother to Alpha Tyson, is haunted by the death of his true mate, Hilary. Yet, he refuses to accept that Tia, the sister who has always owned his heart, is lost to him and begins searching for her. However, dark forces are at play, as a villain plots to reclaim their territory. With allies and enemies everywhere, will Miles find Tia in time to protect her? Will they confess their feelings for each other? And will the Goddess unleash her Dark Sister to punish those who have defied her laws? RECOMMENDED: THE ALPHA BEAST'S REBEL WOLF (Book#1 of the Dark Sister of Vengeance Series) as characters reappear. *NO S/A* The book contains the following warnings: Violence, Betrayal, Murder, Crude language and Sex. COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL!! ©2025/ T. MURPHY. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!!!

After the company's entire plane crashed and everyone on board died, we all found ourselves transported into a novel, tasked with winning the favor of a queen. The system's icy voice issued its prompt: [The queen's male consort possesses a voice as melodious as a lark's.] Our handsome secretary smiled with quiet confidence. That very day, he stationed himself along the queen's usual route and began to sing a modern pop song. The queen was thoroughly pleased. She summoned him onto her carriage. Our colleagues looked on with unconcealed envy. "Looks like the bonus is his." "How lucky. The queen is wealthy and beautiful. Not only does he get to spend the night with her, he'll make a fortune too." But the next day, we saw the secretary hanging from a tree in the royal garden. His body was completely naked, riddled with arrows, his eyes still wide open in death. The voice he had once cherished was now a vessel crammed with thick, crude bamboo spikes. At the same time, the system's cold notification sounded once more. [All challengers' lives have entered the countdown. Please complete your conquest as soon as possible.]

Jackson Dalton, my roommate, was a deeply disturbed voyeur. His greatest hobby in life was spying on me. Back in school, he stole my underwear. After we started working, he set his sights on sleeping with the woman I loved, Caitlin Watson. Because we were close, he constantly crossed the line, making crude, sexual remarks about Caitlin, who was a flight attendant. "Those legs are insane. Wonder what it’d feel like to have them on my shoulders." Every time he ran his mouth, Caitlin would throw water in his face and curse him out. "Stay the hell away from me, you freak." For my sake, she never called the police on him, but every time he acted up, she made sure to humiliate him in public. The night I successfully proposed, I bought a new house. Jackson showed up with a full set of appliances as an apology gift. Wearing her diamond ring, Caitlin leaned into my arms, smiling like she was the happiest woman alive. All my friends said I was lucky to have such a beautiful and loyal fiancee, who even put my worst friend in his place. Until I got up in the middle of the night for a drink. I noticed the guest room door was slightly open. When I pushed it open, I saw Caitlin wearing a collar and being led on a leash while crawling on the ground.

In the VIP lounge of an underground casino, Maeve, the Falcone family's princess, had been plied with too much hard liquor. Fueled by alcohol, someone goaded her into revealing the most shameless thing she'd ever done to win over the Don. She swirled her glass, pointed at me dealing cards behind the table, and threw her head back with a laugh. "Seven years ago, when Declan was in a coma after a shootout, I took his private phone. And I deleted the distress message that bitch sent him. Every last trace of it. Then I replied in his name: You're a burden. Go die." "You'll never guess what happened next. That idiot stood outside the safe house all night in a downpour, like a stray dog. I almost died laughing…" The room erupted in crude laughter. Only the man enthroned at the head of the table remained silent. The crystal whiskey glass in his hand shattered with a sharp crack. Blood mixed with the amber liquor, trickling over the veins on the back of his hand before dripping onto the carpet. His murderous, bloodshot eyes were locked on me. I calmly dealt the last hole card in front of him and offered a clean, white silk handkerchief. "Don Declan, you should wipe your hand. Blood on the felt is bad luck." After all, some stains never wash out.

After writing 999 love letters to the cold and aloof campus belle, Maddie Harrison, I finally successfully snag her heart. But on the day before our wedding, I accidentally stumble upon Maddie's conversation with her childhood friend, where she jokes about the mistakes she's seen in the love letters. "An elementary school student must have written these letters, from the looks of it! He might as well use AI, to begin with!" So, I terminate our wedding and withdraw all the funding my family has given to her company. Maddie can only shriek hysterically in return. "It's just a joke between friends! Must you go so far as to cancel our wedding?" I show her a virtual fortune-telling prediction of our marriage that's drafted by an AI. "You like using AI that much, don't you? Then look at this prediction properly! Our marriage is a huge misfortune! There's no way I'm going to marry a walking jinx like you!"