Dad Joke Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

My parents were award-winning teachers, having nurtured countless outstanding students. However, I had always been the last in line, failing every single class. After yet another gentle warning from my homeroom teacher, my dad finally snapped. "How did I end up with a kid this dumb? You're deliberately trying to torture me, aren't you?" He disappeared for three days. When he returned, he had a boy with him. "From today on, Josh is the only true child of this family. You are no longer allowed to call us Mom and Dad. "Get out! You'll only earn the right to be my son once you can actually pass your exams." The next time I saw them was at the hospital during a check-up organized by their school for all the staff. The head of guidance recognized me immediately. "Yale? Isn't this Shane from your family? "He works here now. And Josh's condition, there's hope for him! You should have him contact the new Dr. Cunningham right away." Seeing me in my white coat, my dad's expression shifted again and again. "This kid… switched jobs and didn't even tell me." I subtly used my coat to cover the badge hanging on my chest. It read: Department Director: Asher Cunningham

Leona thought she knew betrayal when her greedy mother, Betty, tried to sell her to the cruel Dante. But her world truly shattered when she was "claimed" by Malakai, her lethal step-brother and a possessive Mafia enforcer. Their obsession was a furious, forbidden sin—until a brutal ambush in the Alps left Malakai for dead and Leona a ghost. ​One year later, Leona finds him. But the man she loved is gone, his memory erased by the High Council. Now known only as the "Asset," Malakai is trapped in a gilded cage on the French Riviera, gaslit into a twisted, three-fold bond with the manipulative Sienna and her dominant brother, Silas. ​To reclaim her King, Leona must transform from a victim into a vengeful Queen. She infiltrates the villa, triggering a bloodbath as she exposes the Council's corruption and Betty’s ultimate betrayal. In a fiery climax, Malakai’s "Beast" finally awakens to protect the only truth he has left. ​The story concludes with a heart-stopping revelation: Leona is pregnant with the heir to their broken empire. Fleeing the authorities to a private island, the couple begins to rule their own secret world, bound by a "sinful" love and a "no joke" commitment to the life they’ve fought to reclaim.

Bonnie thought she had her life figured out until desire rewrote the rules. When Professor Marcellus enters her world, Bonnie discovers a temptation she can’t resist. His gaze alone makes her pulse race, his touch ignites a fire she can’t control, and every encounter leaves her craving more. But just as the heat between them reaches a breaking point, life takes an unexpected turn: her mother’s new fiancé is none other than the man who has claimed her body and stolen her thoughts. Torn between lust, loyalty, and forbidden love, Bonnie couldn't hurt her mum's feelings or stop her own feelings for this forbidden man. She tries to survive a world where desire is dangerous, passion is irresistible, and the line between right and wrong is blurred. Will Bonnie give into her obsession, or will the heart she wants to protect leave her utterly undone? In a world where power, love, and seduction collide, only surrender can bring the ultimate pleasure… and the ultimate risk.

My name is Ivy Lawson. At 3:00 am, I get a call from Christina McSpire, a parent of one of my students. "Hello, Ms. Lawson, I noticed Zoe only spent five dollars on her meal yesterday. Did she not eat any meat?" she asks. Pushing through my exhaustion, I reply, "Don't worry, Mrs. Street. I'll check on it tomorrow." Another half hour goes by, and she calls again. "It's supposed to rain tomorrow. Can you remind Zoe to bring an umbrella?" I can hardly keep my eyes open. "Got it," I reply absentmindedly. A few minutes later, my phone rings once more. "Please make sure Zoe brushes her teeth for three minutes. It's also important that she scrubs each side of her face at least three times." Suppressing my frustration, I calmly respond, "Zoe is in her senior year of high school. I'm sure she's capable of taking care of herself." I expect that to be the end of it, but when I wake up, my silenced phone shows over a hundred missed calls.

During a road trip with my girlfriend, we accidentally collided with a limousine. Just as we were joking about having to pay an outrageous sum in compensation, the owner stepped out of the car. He greeted us warmly, asked if we were hurt, and even insisted we didn't need to pay a dime. But that simple gesture sparked a huge misunderstanding in my girlfriend's mind. At the proposal ceremony, she flat-out rejected me, ran to the restroom, and called her best friend to vent. "They're both Vanders, but Josh is a penniless loser, and Alexander is the richest man in the city! "The fortune teller said my true love's surname is Vander. If that's the case, why can't it be the richest man instead of Josh? "I looked it up. That car owner is Alexander. And he didn't even want me to pay for rear-ending him. He must have fallen in love with me at first sight! "In love, there's no such thing as first come, first served. I won't accept Josh's proposal. I'm going to marry the richest man!" A shiver ran through me. My years of devotion to her had moved only me. What she didn't know was that the 'richest man' she was dreaming of marrying wasn't anyone else—he was my father.

When my stepsister, Kate Lawrence, is poisoned at the full moon ceremony, my father, Jack Blackwood, condemns me at once, convinced that I am the one behind it. He clamps silver chains around me and drags me into the manor's dark underground cell. His eyes burn hatefully as he snarls, "You wretch! How could I have a daughter like you? Rot in here!" I drop to my knees on the cold floor and try to explain, but the sentence he throws over his shoulder as he turns away snuffs out the last of my hope. "Even if she dies in there, no one shall go in! Whoever lets her out will die with her!" The cell severs the mind-link completely, so no one hears me screaming. Seven days later, he finally remembers me, not knowing that I'd already died on the fourth day when the silver burned through to the bone.

I woke up staring at divorce papers—from the guy I'd crushed on all through college. My name. His. Right there on the page. He said I cheated. Last thing I remembered? Getting ready to finally tell him how I felt at our graduation party. Now suddenly, we've got a four-year-old. And him? He looked at me like I was some rando off the street. No trace of the sweet, soft guy I used to know. Just ice. What did I miss? What the hell happened in the last five years?

Morgan Drake is a 2nd year resident at Sangela City Regional Hospital grappling with depression and addiction, following some recent stressful life events. Disillusioned with his work and current life situation, he is forced to take a trip where he encounters a mysterious s woman: the strong-willed, beautiful and intimidating Maddison Silva whom he is immediately drawn to. An introspective look reveals that he is inadequate for her, which leaves him with two choices: give up on her or put the broken pieces of his life back together. Which option does he choose? If its the latter, who is he changing for? More importantly, if he can get his life together, will she accept him?

Every April Fools’ Day, Wilson Hale and Chloe Mercer turned our anniversary into a joke. A fake proposal. A trick ring. A room full of laughter. And every year, Wilson was sure I loved him too much to leave. This year, cake cream slid down my face, my ring hit the marble floor, and he still smiled like I would forgive him by morning. He forgot one thing. I was not Vivian Gray, the lonely girl with nowhere to go. I was Vivian Vescari, daughter of the most feared mafia family on the East Coast. I had left that world because I wanted to be loved before anyone knew my name. For six years, I thought Wilson was that man. Then I learned even his first confession had been an April Fools’ bet. So I stopped being the joke. I went home.

The day my husband left the country on a business trip with his assistant, I learned—by sheer accident—that his archenemy was plotting revenge overseas. Without a second thought, I raced to the airport and stopped him from boarding the plane. But his assistant went ahead, alone. And over there, she was killed brutally. Not a trace of her remains was ever found. When my husband received the news, he fell apart. Wracked with guilt, eaten alive by remorse, he spiraled into a relentless, violent mania. In the past three years, I'd been in and out of hospitals more times than I could count because of him. And this time, he pushed me so far—I lost our child. Then I overheard a conversation between him and his secretary. "Sir, Casey is still alive. Why keep pretending you're sick? Aren't you afraid your wife will find out and leave you?" "Leave me? What right does she have to be angry?" He laughed coldly. "If she hadn't stopped me from going abroad, Casey would've never been lured away by that bastard. Everything Linda's suffering now—she brought it on herself."