Dad Joke Pick Up Lines

My name is Ivy Lawson. At 3:00 am, I get a call from Christina McSpire, a parent of one of my students. "Hello, Ms. Lawson, I noticed Zoe only spent five dollars on her meal yesterday. Did she not eat any meat?" she asks. Pushing through my exhaustion, I reply, "Don't worry, Mrs. Street. I'll check on it tomorrow." Another half hour goes by, and she calls again. "It's supposed to rain tomorrow. Can you remind Zoe to bring an umbrella?" I can hardly keep my eyes open. "Got it," I reply absentmindedly. A few minutes later, my phone rings once more. "Please make sure Zoe brushes her teeth for three minutes. It's also important that she scrubs each side of her face at least three times." Suppressing my frustration, I calmly respond, "Zoe is in her senior year of high school. I'm sure she's capable of taking care of herself." I expect that to be the end of it, but when I wake up, my silenced phone shows over a hundred missed calls.

The day my husband left the country on a business trip with his assistant, I learned—by sheer accident—that his archenemy was plotting revenge overseas. Without a second thought, I raced to the airport and stopped him from boarding the plane. But his assistant went ahead, alone. And over there, she was killed brutally. Not a trace of her remains was ever found. When my husband received the news, he fell apart. Wracked with guilt, eaten alive by remorse, he spiraled into a relentless, violent mania. In the past three years, I'd been in and out of hospitals more times than I could count because of him. And this time, he pushed me so far—I lost our child. Then I overheard a conversation between him and his secretary. "Sir, Casey is still alive. Why keep pretending you're sick? Aren't you afraid your wife will find out and leave you?" "Leave me? What right does she have to be angry?" He laughed coldly. "If she hadn't stopped me from going abroad, Casey would've never been lured away by that bastard. Everything Linda's suffering now—she brought it on herself."

After she was sold to the traditional medical center at age 12, Renae Hart survived the life threatening training and became an healer. On the night of her 18th birthday and first shift, she encountered a wounded wolf and saved his life. The next morning, Jennifer Tower, the Beta's daughter discovered the wounded wolf and impersonated Ranae as the healer who treated him.Using the lives of her friends, she threatened Renea to keep quiet as she took her place. A few months later Renae found out that she is pregnant. Out of shame, she fled the pack. But future has something different for her.

After a one night stand with a mysterious stranger. Evelyn Rosé, twenty five years old and mother of one, came back to her City to live a new life but under the fear of her son getting snatched away from her. She had a bad history with her family and her fiance but came back strong with the love of her son occupying her heart. But then she met her new cold Billionaire Boss who looked so much like her son and whom her son kept calling 'Daddy.' "Shush, don't call him that." "But he is my Daddy." Her son pouted. Raphael Theophilus the cold-hearted unbend Billionaire smiled at her son. He remembered Evelyn Rosé but she doesn't remember him.

Captured by Alpha Raven, Knight the rogue seemed to be enjoying the time spent in the cell more than anyone, and on that same night, Alpha Raven was poisoned with a strong drug? Beaten up, Knight was the one on the mission of taming the Alpha. (Dark romance warning)

When my stepsister, Kate Lawrence, is poisoned at the full moon ceremony, my father, Jack Blackwood, condemns me at once, convinced that I am the one behind it. He clamps silver chains around me and drags me into the manor's dark underground cell. His eyes burn hatefully as he snarls, "You wretch! How could I have a daughter like you? Rot in here!" I drop to my knees on the cold floor and try to explain, but the sentence he throws over his shoulder as he turns away snuffs out the last of my hope. "Even if she dies in there, no one shall go in! Whoever lets her out will die with her!" The cell severs the mind-link completely, so no one hears me screaming. Seven days later, he finally remembers me, not knowing that I'd already died on the fourth day when the silver burned through to the bone.

Waking up hungover next to my arch-nemesis – the city's most notorious fuckboy? Worst. Morning. Ever. I handled the walk of shame with icy dignity, but fate had a bigger curveball: one month later, two pink lines. My baby. My rules. His involvement? Zero. My flawless plan hit a snag when morning sickness ambushed me in the office restroom. He walked in. His eyes locked onto my still-flat stomach, darkening with something dangerous. Before I could blink, he had me pinned against the cold tile wall. "Who's the father?" he growled. I met his glare with a frosty smirk. "Wouldn't you like to know? Definitely not you." Then it happened: a hot tear hit my neck. His voice cracked, raw and desperate. "Don't... don't leave me. Please." Me: ...Dude. Seriously? THIS IS YOURS!

I woke up staring at divorce papers—from the guy I'd crushed on all through college. My name. His. Right there on the page. He said I cheated. Last thing I remembered? Getting ready to finally tell him how I felt at our graduation party. Now suddenly, we've got a four-year-old. And him? He looked at me like I was some rando off the street. No trace of the sweet, soft guy I used to know. Just ice. What did I miss? What the hell happened in the last five years?

Morgan Drake is a 2nd year resident at Sangela City Regional Hospital grappling with depression and addiction, following some recent stressful life events. Disillusioned with his work and current life situation, he is forced to take a trip where he encounters a mysterious s woman: the strong-willed, beautiful and intimidating Maddison Silva whom he is immediately drawn to. An introspective look reveals that he is inadequate for her, which leaves him with two choices: give up on her or put the broken pieces of his life back together. Which option does he choose? If its the latter, who is he changing for? More importantly, if he can get his life together, will she accept him?

Michael Roy was an ordinary student, & was very poor. Because of his poverty, his so called girlfriend left him & insulted him. his classmates also humiliated & looked down on him. But who knows, after reaching home one day, he received a letter from Russia stating that it was from his dad after so many missing years would change his whole life? "my son. Your dad is the most powerful person of this country. I know you will have a lot of questions. you have suffered a lot. But now i will make sure that you won't find a single problem in your whole life. I am transferring 10 million dollars for a start as your daily livings. Just make me a call if you need more." Then the story of Michael started suddenly from an extremely poor guy to the richest kid of not only his city but of a whole country. He bought houses, few extreme high model cars, visited most reputed places & top most services. The most important thing, not only his girlfriend & classmates, he stunned many most reputed people of his city Arizona & other cities too. This story describes the journey of a young man's poor lifestyle & his lavish lifestyle. It also describes how he handled billions of money & became the greatest of all.