Dad Joke Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

Mom is diagnosed with a benign fibroid during her check-up, but somehow, she ends up getting her entire uterus removed, leading to her getting an infection and dying from it. With the surgical records in hand, I decide to sue the doctor for malpractice. But my wife, Anastasia Ziegler, who's also the director of the hospital, personally steps in to vouch for him. Enraged, I question her why. However, Anastasia just shoves me away coldly. "Your mom was already that old. What use did she have for her uterus? Louis' future is more important! Anyway, I'll waive the hospital bills. You'd better take down the court case, though. Don't embarrass me any further in the hospital." As I gaze at Mom's cold corpse, I can't help but chuckle. It turns out that Anastasia has no idea that her beloved side piece has killed off her actual mom, who had stayed widowed for many years.

When hockey superstar Jake Sullivan's career crashes, the last thing he expects is to find his ex-girlfriend Emma scrubbing floors in his new office building eight years after she crushed his heart and disappeared without a trace. But Emma's hiding more than just her identity; she's been raising his son in secret, a handsome boy with Jake's piercing blue eyes and natural talent on the ice. Now that the truth is out, Jake will stop at nothing to claim his family, even if it means facing the powerful enemies who tore them apart and proving that some love is worth fighting for, no matter how many years have passed.

My boss gives me 200 thousand dollars in cash so I can pay his workers their salaries. I leave the house to buy some envelopes to put the money in, but that's when my father lends the money to our neighbor so they can buy a house. I question him about it, but he says I know nothing about forging relationships. Even my mother and brother blame me for not keeping my things properly—they say I'm dumb for leaving money lying around when I know my father likes to lend money to others. Later, my boss fires me but doesn't call the cops. All he wants is for me to repay him. To do so, my father finds me a high-paying job. It's only when I get there that I realize I'm supposed to be an old man's housekeeper. On my first day there, he violates me. I want to call the cops, but my father tells me to be forgiving of him. After that, the old man's daughter thinks I seduced her father and has me beaten to death. When I open my eyes again, I'm back to the day my father lent money to our neighbor.

My father's adopted daughter was only locked in the cramped storage closet for around fifteen minutes, yet he punished me by tying me up and throwing me inside. He even sealed off the ventilation with towels. "As Wendy's older sister, if you can't take care of her, then you should also experience how scared she was," he declared coldly. He knew I was claustrophobic, but my desperate pleas for mercy, my terror, were met with nothing but heartless reprimands. "Let this be a lesson on how to be a good sister." As the last sliver of light disappeared, swallowed by the oppressive darkness, I struggled helplessly. A week passed before my father finally remembered my existence and decided it was time to end my punishment. "Let's hope this week served as a good lesson for you, Jennifer. If this happens again, you will no longer be allowed in this house." He would never know that I had already taken my last breath in that suffocating room. My body had begun to rot in the darkness.

My girlfriend, Camille Chaney, gets pregnant right before the college entrance exam starts. In my previous life, I gave up on my college entrance exam and married Camille. We had a son together. Life might be nitty-gritty, but it was still rather fulfilling for me. When I was on my deathbed, Camille and her first love, Howard Salter, dropped by to visit me. "Thank you for raising our son for more than 20 years. Now, you may die in peace." Camille pulled the plug on my life support at that moment. She watched as I slowly suffocated to death. When I open my eyes again, I find out that I've returned to the timeframe when the college entrance exam is about to take place. This time, I slam the door shut in Camille's face when I hear her asking me to take responsibility for her pregnancy. "Go find someone else to play house with you. I'm not interested in becoming a father at all."

I've spent the past seven years by Caleb Hale's side, but I don't have a proper identity. He doesn't seem interested in marrying me, either. Later, he has plans to marry the daughter of the White family in a political marriage. They only have one condition—he must throw away the sandalwood bead bracelet he always wears. Caleb doesn't even bat an eye as he says, "It's just a little trinket, and I've grown sick of it." After that, he throws the bracelet into the annex from his balcony. Coincidentally, the annex later catches fire. Everyone is stunned to see me dash inside to retrieve the bracelet without a care for my safety. Subsequently, someone in the online community reveals that I kneeled in the snow outside Highspire Hall to get that bracelet.

My father-in-law, George Lane, suffered from a brain aneurysm and fell onto the ground. The floor was covered in his blood. I calmly picked up a mop and wiped the floor clean. As his daughter-in-law, I gave up on saving him within the most critical time. In my last life, I was the first person who found out that George was injured. I immediately got an ambulance and sent him to the hospital. Before the surgery, the hospital required his immediate family member to sign off the consent form. However, when I asked my husband, Brian Lane to come to the hospital to sign that document, he thought that I was acting out of jealousy because he was spending time with his first-love. He thought I was making an excuse to get him home, so he refused to go to the hospital. In the end, George passed away as he did not receive the treatment on time. Brian did not manage to see George for the last time, and he blamed it all on me. He then hacked me to death. “It’s your fault! My dad was so old, and you didn’t take good care of him as a daughter-in-law! Since you’re not doing your part when he’s alive, then you should continue your duties as a daughter-in-law in hell!” When I opened my eyes, I found myself on the day when George died again.

The night I find out I'm pregnant, my family's villa suddenly goes up in flames. I endure the suffocating smoke and run the risk of being disfigured as I run to my son's bedroom. However, it's empty. Just then, I hear his excited exclamations outside the window. "Monica, you look so cool when putting out fires! I bet you'll get first place in this upcoming Firefighter Challenge!" I'm about to head downstairs to lecture him when a wall collapses and crushes me. As I drift in and out of consciousness, I hear my stern, stoic husband praise Monica Sloan for her courage. If I'm guessing correctly, my husband and son have started this fire to please her. I stare at the door, which is so close and yet so far. I send out one final text before dying of asphyxiation.

Calla Wynter is in for a ride and she doesn't even know it yet. 18 years old Calla Wynter thought rejecting her fated mate would free her. Instead, it trapped her in a dorm room with three wolves, each one tied to her past and her secrets. Three irresistible boys that are all attracted to her, three irresistible boys that she can't decide between. Especially when each of them makes her heart beat faster, and throws her wolf into a frenzy. When a professor’s murder exposes a curse linked to her rejection, she’s forced to fake-date the mate she swore off to save the academy… and maybe her own heart.

She thought divorce would set her free. Instead, it led her straight into hell and the devil himself, Sebastian Sterling. He offered her salvation. What she found was sin. --- An emotional, dark romance about temptation, control, and the price of survival. -- After ending her ten-year marriage to an unfaithful husband, Rosemary Seo wants nothing more than peace. No more manipulation. No more control. Just a chance to start over with her daughter — even if it means living in a cheap motel and scraping together every cent. But when every company in town suddenly rejects her job applications, Rosie realizes she’s trapped once again — not by love, but by power. Her ex-husband’s influence stretches further than she imagined… And her only hope lies in the hands of his estranged younger brother — Sebastian Edward Sterling, a man with a reputation as dangerous as his charm. Sebastian offers her a way out. A job. A chance to rebuild. But his terms come wrapped in silk and sin — and soon, Rosie finds herself drawn into his world of temptation, control, and forbidden pleasure. “You can be my personal assistant,” he said slowly. “Take care of my daily needs.” Then his voice softened further, dangerous and intimate. “Especially in bed.” He calls it a job. She calls it a deal with the devil. Caught between survival and surrender, Rosie must decide — Will she tame the devil who wants to own her, or become his next obsession?