Dad Joke Pick Up Lines

My younger sister, Angela Schrute, got married at 20. By 21, she already had a child. I'm Elizabeth Schrute, 27 years old, and still unmarried. Over the years, I've brought home a few boyfriends. But every time the subject of marriage comes up, my father, Michael Scrute, will take them into his study. I don't know what he said to them. But whenever they come out of that room, they will turn cold and frightening. It's like their hands are itching to wrap around my throat and squeeze the life out of me. My latest boyfriend thinks Dad is being unreasonable… until he follows him into the study. When he emerges, his eyes burn with rage. He breaks up with me on the spot and slaps me. Twice. I still can't figure it out. What is it that drives each of them away? And what secret is hiding in Dad's study?

“Doctor Millan, the patient's father has been kneeling in your office for the past six hours don't you think you should go see him?” “Are you telling me to go see the people that once ruined my life and paid me to abort my child Millan's life was once ruined by her ex-fiance whom she was crazily in love with, and just when they were about to get married, he left her. Millan who was still lamenting on her ruined relationship woke up on the hospital bed with Eight weeks pregnant for her ex fiancée. Refusing to accept reality she visited his home, only to meet him celebrating his newly married life with his new wife and the worst is her ex-fiance's father offered her a ten million dollar cheque to abort the baby. Feeling insulted, she left hoping never to cross path with him again, but fate took turns when eight years later she's now a famous surgeon, one day her ex-fiance was brought to the hospital where she works, and his father knelt down in front of her “My son is dying please save him, he need a kidney transplant and only your child can be a match and only you can operate on him as the most experience surgeon” “So you want me to give my son's kidney to your son after you called my child a disturbance and told me to abort it? get ready to bury your son, I promise to send flowers to his funeral” Unknown to them, she's not only the world renowned Surgeon but she's also the prominent anonymous popular Judge who has humbled top corrupt government officials What happens when they employ her to fight for the custody of their son without knowing she's the anonymous judge?

On the day I'm set to go into labor, I plead to my husband, Timothy Langford, to take me to the hospital when I'm two centimeters dilated. However, a pissed-looking Timothy orders his men to lock me up in a sauna room that's heated to 356 degrees Fahrenheit. This is all because my estimated labor date is one day earlier than my widowed sister-in-law, Natalie Thornton. Since Timothy is bent on making Natalie's baby the oldest grandson of the Langford family, he instructs his men to inject me with 100 labor-suppressant injections. No matter how much I beg Timothy to spare our baby, he remains unmoved. Having received 99 injections, I feel a world of pain crashing down on me, seeing as I'm already suffering from contractions to begin with. But Timothy is the one who injects the final labor-suppressant injection into my huge pregnancy bump. As he gazes at my agonized and writhing form, he says coldly, "It's already difficult for Natalie to survive in this world after losing my older brother. As her brother-in-law, I'm merely fulfilling her wish to become a mother. "Still, you refuse to spare her. It's not enough for you to force her to survive overseas on her own; you even plan on receiving labor-induction injections just to give birth to your baby on an earlier date! "It seems that I've spoiled you far too much for you to have the guts to pull this stunt off! The doctor already told me that once I've given you the labor-suppressant injections and leave you somewhere extremely hot, it can stop you from giving birth. You're only allowed to give birth once Natalie is out of labor." At that moment, I've completely given up on life. The moment Timothy witnesses Natalie's baby being born, his eyes are filled with tears of happiness. He sets off firework after firework to celebrate the grand birth. Later on, as Timothy gazes at Natalie's newborn, he finally remembers me and our unborn baby. When he's about to order his men to take me to the hospital, he receives a phone call from his assistant. "The hospital has called to inform you to take Mrs. Langford's body away."

Valentina Devereux’s life is shattered after a single night she cannot fully remember—a night that leaves her pregnant by a man whose identity remains a mystery. Raised as the cherished daughter of a powerful and disciplined family, Valentina is cast out without mercy when her condition is revealed. Branded a disgrace and abandoned by the only home she has ever known, she is forced to disappear—carrying a secret far heavier than anyone realizes. Because Valentina isn’t just pregnant with one child. She is carrying three. Alone, heartbroken, and determined to survive, she chooses to keep her babies and build a life far away from the past that destroyed her. Years pass, and she becomes stronger, independent, and untouchable—devoting everything to raising her triplets with love and dignity. But as her children grow, so do their questions. “Mommy… why don’t we have a dad?” What begins as innocent curiosity soon turns into something she can no longer ignore. With no choice left, Valentina returns to the city that once rejected her—knowing the truth can no longer stay buried. But everything changes when her children unknowingly cross paths with a man who should have remained in the past. Sebastian Roth. Cold. Powerful. Untouchable. A man who has no idea that the three children drawn to him… carry his blood. Now, Valentina is forced to confront the night that changed her life, uncover the truth behind a past filled with deception, and face the man who could either protect everything she’s built

~Mature content ~strong language and sex scenes ~girlxgirl book ~~~~~~~~~ Love. Love is a powerful magnetic pull that pulls to opposites together. Love can be forbidden and destructive. But for Ashley and her stepmother Angelina Love is a forbidden obstacle course.

My bride went missing on the night of our big day but woke up in my brother's room the next day. My parents persuaded me to ignore it for the sake of fame but scolded my wife as an easy girl. Angrily, I moved out of the villa with my wife. Soon after, my wife had a miscarriage and suffered from depression due to gossip. She jumped off from the top floor in front of me. Desperately, I followed her. Opening my eyes again, I found myself back to the time when the wedding ended.

Sneak peek: "W-what are you doing?" I asked, my breathing getting heavier as his warm fingers inched towards my bikini bottom. "You called me a coward earlier, remember?" He asked, his other hand wrapped around my throat and lips torturingly brushing over mine "So let's see how much you can handle if I break the boundaries." "I haven't said anything wrong," I breathed out, the collision of the heat of our bodies made the wetness between my thighs build more "Oh really?" He hooked my legs around his waist leaving me surprised I opened my mouth to say something but before any sentence could leave my mouth, sliding past my bikini bottom his fingers were there on my bare clit and the next second they thrust inside the very tight hole of mine leaving me to scream. But everything went silent as he pressed his hot lips upon mine just as I had been wanting since the first day I had ever seen him. **** I always knew the things I felt for Jacob Adriano were wrong in so many ways. He was my dad's best friend, totally out of bounds but I couldn't stop wanting him. And once in the event of my dad's destination wedding, I came across him after years...I lost every one of the boundaries I had and surely I planned to make him lose his ones too. After all Jacob Adriano, the sinfully attractive Italian was not unaware of my obsession with him. But little did know that forbidden relationships always bring havoc and demolition.....

Lily: I'm a nanny for the sexiest man alive. For years I've kept my crush a secret, even through our surrogate pregnancy, but now it’s reached a fever. I've seen how Wyatt looks at me. Undeniable tension. Spent restless nights in bed, dreaming about that hard body of his. Wondering if he ever wonders what I’d do to him. For him. Every day I see a strong, loving father to a young girl who needs a mother. I see a gorgeous, damaged man who needs me. And I'm so ready. Ready to be his wife. Ready to be a stepmom. Most of all, ready for a baby of my own. ***** Wyatt: All I ever wanted was to be a father. But raising a baby alone wasn't part of the plan. So when the woman who carried my little girl into this world comes back into my life, of course I take the help. But the longer I'm around her, the more I notice how much she has changed. She's all woman now. A body begging for my touch. Those curves are driving me wild, and I find that I need her as much as my daughter does. Falling in love with my nanny means risking losing everything all over again, but I'm willing to do it if she can give me what I've always desired. A family.

At 22, as the Santoro heiress, I'm choosing a husband out of the three Guerra brothers to honor the marriage pact between our families. I pass on Aurelio Guerra and choose the eldest brother, Cesare Guerra, the one with the burn scar on his face, leaving everyone in the Mafia reeling. Everyone knows I put aside my pride as a perfumer for Aurelio and shrank myself until I barely exist. For him, I even leaned on the Santoros' muscle to build his power base. In my last life, I married him, just like I'd always wanted. With the Santoros behind him, he became the youngest Don in the Mafia. After he was established, he hooked up with my stepsister, Maeve Santoro. Together, they stole the new perfume I created, "Reverie", locked me in the lab, and set the place ablaze, reducing me to ash. Now that I've been reborn, I decide to drag those two cheaters to hell myself. But then Aurelio comes back too, carrying the memories of our last life.

Been Alpha Archer’s mate for seven years now, and he still can’t remember my birthday. Even though he’s ice-cold to me, I still love him so much. I keep telling myself our mate bond’s gonna make him and his wolf fall for me one day. On my birthday, I left work early hoping to hang with Archer and our daughter Trista. But what really broke me? Finding out Archer took Trista to see his real love.They left me all alone for the whole day. That’s when I finally called it quits with him. And when Trista said she wanted that woman to be her mom instead of me?I didn’t even hurt anymore. I drafted the divorce papers, gave up custody of Trista, and walked out. Now I’m just waiting for the final divorce order. After leaving my family and going back to work, I showed everyone who used to look down on me I’m way better than they ever thought. But Archer still won’t reject me—and neither will I. On top of that, he’s been coming back to the pack a lot more lately. When he found out I wanted a divorce, his usual coldness was gone in a second. He pinned me against the wall, growling, “Divorce?Ain’t gonna happen.”