Damon Salvatore Quotes Funny Novels & Stories

"If I had to smile at one more corrupt politician tonight, I was going to throw my champagne at the chandelier." I couldn't help it, a small, breathless laugh escaped my lips before I could stop it. Damon unbuttoned his suit jacket, tossing it haphazardly over the back of an armchair. He unbuttoned the top three buttons of his crisp white shirt, exposing the dark tattoos creeping up his neck, and turned to look at me with a raised eyebrow. "What's so funny, little bird?" "Nothing," I murmured, reaching behind my neck to struggle with the heavy clasp of the diamond necklace. "It's just... you all look like terrifying mobsters five minutes ago, and now Theo looks like a golden retriever that g

Logan could be an asshole sometimes and over-exaggerated a lot but at the same time, he didn't condone insults, especially to his workers. "Okay? What did she say?" "She said I'm a stuck-up asshole..." "Well that's surprisingly accurate," Damon thought "And she said my moustache looks like that of a pornstar from the 80's." Damon almost choked on his coffee. He wanted to laugh so hard but his coffee had come in the way, thankfully. He tried to keep his face straight and treat this as a serious matter.

"Who says I'm not happy? Who says I don't like my life just the way it is? Why does everyone keep hounding me about fated mate this, fated mate that? Who says I can't live my life without Damien? Who days I need that arrogant motherfucker to be happy?" By the end of Dominic's tirade, I was smiling so hard. Then I burst out laughing because he was so incredibly talented at bluffing and putting up a front, I would have believed him if I hadn't known better. I would have bought it hook, line and sinker if it wasn't for my own personal experience. "Francesca, what are you laughing for? Did I say something funny?"

Damian As we’re sitting here in church everyone is silent. Not a single person wants to get on Skulls bad side and I don’t fucking blame them. He’s ruthless and doesn’t give a shit if we’re 1% or not. His word is law and that’s that. “Your club looks good D.” He looks over my members who are all giving their best scowls. “None look like their gonna shit themselves.. yet” He lets out a scoff and then sets his eyes on me.

Grant parroted, baffled. Damon’s frown deepened. He spoke up and cut Xavier off. “Stop it. You’re always making these stupid jokes at the least opportune time! Have some respect for Mr. Gunn and be serious!” He turned to Grant and started apologizing, “Pardon him. That’s my brother to you: a bit of a manchild at times, I’m afraid. He loves flexing his ‘humor’, and I put that lightly, at the least suitable time. Please don’t take those jokes seriously.”

"Why did you do that, Lena?" "You just heard what she said, didn't you?" I replied without even turning to look at them both. "I want to hear it from the horse's mouth." "There's no stable around here, Damon Salvatore." I quipped. He laughed. "That's the funniest joke you've ever made around me." "I haven't been around you enough to make jokes." "But soon, you would. I like to have you around, you know? You make things more exciting." Just the way you had to push me away so Leah could stand behind you.

Damien asked in a sarcastic tone. "You do not have to be mean" Sam said in a fake cry voice. "I was just saying"

Liam asked, his voice cutting through the revelry. Startled from his reverie, Salvatore blinked and forced a half-smile, though the light in his eyes dimmed slightly. “Nah, man. You guys go ahead. I just need to hit the restroom first.” Liam raised an eyebrow but shrugged, dismissing Salvatore's reluctance. “Your loss, buddy.”

“Long time no see, brother, do you not miss your little brother?” “If you have nothing to say, please hang up, I have important things to take care of, I'm in no mood for your jokes.” He chuckled, “You're still mean as always, tch. How do you plan on getting a wife?” “Damon! Watch your mouth.”

the man growled. I exhaled sharply. “I need a cleanup job.” A pause. Then a chuckle. “Getting sloppy, are we?” I gritted my teeth. “It’s not like that.” “It never is.” The amusement in his voice made my skin crawl. “Who is it?” I hesitated. “Luciano Greco” a wild laughter echoed from his end. then he stopped.. “You’re serious?” “I wouldn’t be calling you if I wasn’t.” A slow exhale. “That’s a big name, Damon. You sure you want to poke that bear?”