Dark Humor Jokes Tagalog

((( Julius POV’s )))Napabangon ako dahil sa bungangang yun. Tinignan ko yung babae.“Huwag kang lalapit sa akin!” Bigla akong ngumit at natawa sa sarili ko. Kung gano'n ang babaeng 'to ay walang iba kundi si Janine.“Seems I have a “good” Morning. Good morning Janine.”Bigla akong pinaghahampas ng unan ni Janine. Ewan parang ang saya eh. Nakalapit ako sa kanya. Pinigilan ko ang kamay niya saka hinila ko siya palapit sa akin.“Bitiwan mo ako Julius!” Hinalikan ko siya sa noo. Natigilan siya sa kakapalag.“Now, your mine.” Saka ko siya hinalikan sa labi.Bakas sa mukha niya ang pagkagulat. Kaya bigla niya akong sinampal. Ngumiti lang ako bilang tugon...“I know. I deserve it.” At muli ko siyang hinalikan.“Julius! Gumising ka nga!” At pinagsasampal ako ni Janine, magkabilaang pisngi. Pinigilan ko ang kamay niya.“Gising na gising ako. Gusto mo pa?” Pak!Aww...yun ang masakit.“Di ako nakikipaglokohan sa'yo!” Ngumiti ako.“Sa tingin mo niloloko kita?”“Ahhhh....hmmm..” Hinalikan ko eh.At bago ako bumangon, hinalikan ko siya sa pisngi. Natulala siya.Bumangon na ako. Tinali ko ang robe ko at kinindatan siya bago ako pumunta ng banyo.Nang makapasok ako, narinig ko ang pagsisigaw ni Janine.Nakita ko naman ang refleksyon ko sa salamin. Ngiting-ngiti na napapailing. Naghilamos ako. Iniisip ko kung sino sa dalawang ama-amahan ko ang gumawa nito.

Shen, a daughter of a vampire hunter, strong and independent. She used to live an isolated life to hide from their enemies, the vampires. But during her birthday, an unexpected event happened in her life. They were attacked by their enemies, she died and resurrected as a mate of a vampire prince. How can she survive her life as his mate when she discovers that her father murdered her mate's mother? How long she will endure the pain of being his unwanted mate? *** Language: Tagalog-English Genre: Vampire-Fantasy-Romance Mature| Not suitable for young audiences.

Everyone knows that love is blind, but these three have taken the blindness to a new level. Ella had a rough life, she was abused, neglected and just went through the typical hell you would imagine, but she wasn't about to forget all the abuse, or let it go, instead, Ella had called an assassin to have her revenge. Devil is a paid assassin, bitch, drug dealer, gun dealer, anything you could imagine, as her name suggests, she's the devil, and she's not shy to say it, or show it. When the innocent girl asked her to commit murder for her, she was happy to take the job, even if the girl couldn't pay her, she'll take the girl as payment. Nicholas is a mafia boss, he's the leader of the local mafia, he deals in everything, and does everything you might imagine a mafia boss doing, that until he met two girls at the same time, a pyscho, and a little princess, and it was his lucky day when he knew they were in a relationship and agreed to allow him in with them. A princess, a psycho, and a Mafia king, what do they all have in common but love. Enjoy! Apologies for any misspellings and grammar mistakes.

Matapos magdesisyon ang mga magulang ni Claire na ipakasal siya sa kasosyo ng mga ito ay walang paga-alinlangan siyang umalis sa kanilang tahanan.Akala niya ay tuluyan na siyang nakatakas. But she was wrong.Sapagka't nakatakas man siya mula sa kanyang mga magulang, hindi naman siya nakatakas kay Alastair. Ang kasosyo ng kanyang mga magulang at lalaki na dapat ay papakasalan niya.

It's started with a bet. A bet to make this woman fall into his bait. At first, everything's doing fine, it was supposed to hurt her, it was supposed to fooled her, it was supposed to crumpled her heart... but he was wrong, instead he is the one who gradually falling into his own bait. He thought he would win because it was his game. He should be the one who is attracted but why does he seem to be the one who is attracted? Who are you kidding, Leon? He fought the feeling because it wasn’t right. That's not serious, he just finds her attractive and that's all but the more he gets to know her the more he falls. He is losing day by day... Until the truth revealed and she hated him wholeheartedly... he shouldn't have hurt her... he shouldn't have crumpled her heart... he wish he had said that before, but if he admit his purpose will she still accept him?

Setelah mengetahui suami yang ia cintai mencintai wanita lain yang tak lain adalah sahabatnya, Kinan pun mulai menyusun rencana untuk membalaskan rasa sakit hatinya, hingga sebuah pepatah membuat tekadnya untuk menghancurkan Hanzel dan Mega membara, jika rasa sakit tak mau meninggalkanmu, maka pergilah tinggalkan rasa sakit itu.

Venus has a lousy dad and an annoying stepmom. However, that's enough to end there; because her dad (who turned out to be not her real dad) threw her into darkness, which led her to another dimension called Second Earth, a world where the volts, humans with Talent, live. Like someone who feels lucky, she feels like she was given a second, more decent life. It, as it turned out, wasn't quite what she had thought. She had only been there a few days and was sentenced to death. Not to mention the fact about who her real biological parents are. As if that wasn't enough, it was as if her mind was infiltrated by a demon who claimed to be her great-grandfather. Happiness seemed to be eroded little by little from her and she felt that life as a homeless person on First Earth, her original world, would feel better than here. Her heart became more and more shrouded in gloom and she transformed into the image of someone that the people of Second Earth wanted. Being a bad person wasn't her choice in the first place, but hell could handle it, Venus thought. She was tired of being a good person. Then will her ending be as easy as she imagined? Will she be able to turn back into what one would call a good girl? Or is her path to being a sadistic and cruel person the best for her? The destiny of a dark descendant. Will her story be different?

Siyam na estudyante ang naimbitahan sa Mansiyon ng sikat na Artist na su Gregorio Santillan. Ngunit ang hindi alam ng mga estudyante, may nagbabadyang panganib na naghihintay sa kanila. At ano ang ibig ipahiwatig ng mga panaginip ni Alyssa? Ito ba ay isang babala o sadyang panaginip lamang? Paano pa maililigtas ni Alyssa ang walong estudyante sa sumpa ng painting na kanilang nilalagdaan, kung maging siya ay bilanggo na rin ng Larawan?

Eloisa lost her memory after the doctor couple found her and saved her. She wants to find the missing parts of her memory. Find the man in her dream who says that he is her husband. Can Eloisa find this man?

~“Hello, Daniel.” The man growled as his lips contorted into a twisted grin. Daniel’s eyes widened as he backed up a bit. There was something eerie about this man which gave him the creeps. “ Who are you and how do you know me?” He said fearfully. T he man chuckled darkly and Daniel noticed a sudden change in the atmosphere. For some reason the air around him began to feel chilly. “How do I know you?” The man smiled. “Lets just say I’ve known you since you were born. And as for who I am?....” The man walked slowly and stealthily towards Daniel. He removed his hood to reveal an angular face with a permed hairstyle. His nose was pointed and his eyes were sharp with red glowing irises. “Let’s just say I’m your debt collector. You have something I want, Boy. And I have come to take it!” ~ Daniel Johnson is a university student hunted by an ancient powerful vampire,Luke, who isn't after his blood, but after something something Daniel was born with. Along the way, Daniel meets a mysterious female,Annabelle who is around his age but also affliated with the vampire after him. What is that thing within Daniel that Luke wants? Who is Annabelle? Is she a friend...or a foe?