Deer Blind Dad Jokes

“I don’t know how,” I whispered. “Can you show me? Please, daddy.” He should have said no. Instead, he said, “Lie back and open those pretty legs. Let daddy take care of that for you.” When I shattered all over his fingers he looked at me like I was the most devastating thing he’d ever seen and said, “That’s my sweet girl.” Three days later he put me on a plane to London and didn’t look back. ----- She has spent three years across an ocean trying to unlearn her Stepfather; his voice, his hands, the way he said her name like it cost him something. She almost managed it. Then he called to say he was getting married again and he needed her home. Now she’s back in Boston, sleeping under his roof, watching him plan a future with someone else, and pretending she doesn’t still want him the way she did at nineteen. He is doing the same, pretending. Controlling. Building walls and calling it protection. But three years haven’t changed what’s between them. If anything, the distance made it worse. He sent her away once to save her from him. This time, she isn’t leaving. Some things are wrong in every way that matters, and still impossible to stop.

. "Shhh, Daddy won't know," Lucas whispered, his hands tracing my thighs as the silk of my robe slid away. My husband bought the robe, but it was his son's touch that made me tremble. "Stop... Stop, Lucas," I said, but my body betrayed me, already dripping with a need I'd buried for years. I was about to make out with a 23-year-old boy, in the home his father paid for. The air was thick with secrets, my guilt a sharp perfume beneath his clean, dangerous scent. This wasn't fixing him anymore. This was him breaking me open, and God help me, I was begging for the crash.

"Little mouse thought she could run from us, but look at her now—spread open, begging, taking every inch like she was made for it." My toes curled as Caspian's deep octave sent shockwaves through my body, pussy dripping with every brutal thrust he made deeper into my cunt. My back arched off the bed, and my lips parted… body trembling as every stroke pushed me closer to shattering completely. Zavian's hand wrapped around my throat, squeezing just enough to steal my breath. "Tell him how good it feels, pet. Tell him who owns this body now." *** I didn't mean to surrender to them, but I did. And one night of reckless abandon,born from heartbreak and humiliation, suddenly became my new addiction. It should have been nothing but a drunken mistake… but what happens when your biggest mistake refuses to let you go? When the men who once made you cry now make you scream their names in every hidden corner of the city… right under your ex-fiancé's nose? I should not crave them. I should not melt when Zavian's fingers dig into my hips while Caspian's mouth does sinful things between my thighs. I should not ache for the way they unravel me completely, turning me into a desperate, trembling mess who can't remember why she ever tried to resist… but I do. And they've made damn sure I understand that my body doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to them.

Dear best friend, I had sex with our daughter after you died. 🦪 Dora lost her father on her eighteenth birthday, and she swore to find his killer and end his life herself. Because of this, she signs a ‘fight till death’ deal with Umbra, a deadly secret organization her father worked with. A fight where only one of the two fighters would walk out of the ring alive. Dale Lazarus, a man secretly in love with his best friend’s daughter, killed his best friend in a fight. One of them had to die for the other one to live, and it was Dora’s father who didn’t walk out of the ring. Dora doesn’t know this: that Dale Lazarus, her father’s best friend, and also the man she’s shamelessly obsessed with, is the killer she’s after. She swore to his face that she was going to wipe her father’s killer off the planet, not knowing she was talking about him, and He trains her to kill her father’s killer, knowing he was training her to kill him. What happens when Dora realizes she signed a deal to kill the man she is obsessed with? ~ Content warning: This book contains several sensitive topics that may be disturbing to some readers. Reader's discretion is advised. Specific warnings include: Graphic violence and gore, Explicit sexual content, Description of grief and loss, and strong language.

Mavi believed that she was the unluckiest woman in the world after experiencing unfortunate events in just one night. First, she was rejected by her destined mate during the sacred moonlight ceremony. Second, she witnessed her chosen mate making out with her best friend. And lastly, she got drunk and had a one-night stand with a notorious Alpha and became pregnant with his child. Fearing that Alpha Magnus might take her child away from her for revenge, Mavi decided to conceal her son's existence from him. However, her son was abducted by an Alpha who had an obsession with her. Mavi has no choice but to seek Alpha Magnus' help in saving her son, even if it means revealing that she was the woman who shared a lustful night with him. That he was the father of her son, and she was his destined mate whom he rejected before because he hated her parents. Will Alpha Magnus reject her again once he knows all of her secrets?

Blurb Isabella Dante lost her perfect life the night she slept with a stranger and got pregnant. Her Father disowns her, and she leaves La Nostra Terra. Five years later, she returns for a business contract, and she's with the most beautiful five-year-old daughter, Sofia. Rich and a successful single mother, Isabella is living a life of luxury again. They run into a stranger, and Sofia strongly believes he's her father, leaving Isabella shocked and confused. "He's not your father, baby." Isabella tries to convince her. "But he is, Mummy. Look, we both have the same eyes." Sofia turns to the stranger and asks. "What's your name, handsome mister?" "Enzo. Enzo Ferrari." Isabella freezes. It can't be. She tries to pull her daughter away from the clutches of the most dangerous man on the planet—the capo dei capi of the Italian 'Fratelli' Mafia family. "Stay away from him." Isabella cautions. "But I can't. He's my Daddy!" "No, baby. He's not. He's a dangerous man. And he's going to hurt us if we don't stay away from him…."

When an agreement that only a blood relative of the LeTale family can negotiate the end of their ongoing war is endangered by an ambush on their warehouse causing many family fatalities, and landing the Don in intensive care, Maria LeTale is flown home to take the reins she has never asked for. Tasked with keeping her safe, the Don's favourite Capo, Tony Calcolo, vows to protect Maria at all costs. But what would the cost be if he got too invested in his latest project?

“We are mates, Blaze. Why were you kissing another woman when I’m right here? We belong to each other.” “Belong to each other? You and I?” A cruel chuckle escaped Blaze’s mouth. He stood so close that he was only a breath away. His thumb brushed over my bottom lip, making me shiver. “What kind of fantasy world do you live in, Natalia? I should talk to your father and advise him to stop buying you some useless fairytale books.” “But it’s true,” I insisted even if my confidence was shattering. “The mark on your wrist-“ “Doesn’t mean anything. I will never belong to a girl. Much more, to someone like you.” “I’m no longer a little girl, Blaze. I’m a woman now.” To prove my point, I tiptoed and grabbed his nape. I pulled him to me and crashed my lips on his, fulfilling another dream of mine. To kiss him. But it was like kissing a statue. The fire that he had shown as he kissed another woman was gone. Instead, the man in front of me was… ice cold. In the end, I was the one who had to pull away. His voice was mocking when he asked, “Have you had your fun, little princess?” Blaze rejected our bond and left me broken that night. I swore to never meet him again, but destiny had another plan. Three years later, here we are, forced into an arranged marriage for the benefit of our kingdom. I’ve moved on. I learned my lesson. But Blaze, my father’s best friend, and his soldier, has changed. Whatever Blaze wants, he makes sure to get using any means necessary. And this time, what he wants is me.

[TRIGGER WARNING: Reader's Discretion Is Advised. This book contains mature themes, explicit sexual content, dark romantic elements, and strong language. It is intended for adult audiences(18+). Proceed with caution.] He placed a hand on my leg, and my breath caught. His hand slowly began stroking my thigh, sending a strange wave of sensation through my body. My fingers tightened against my dress as my pulse quickened. His hand moved slowly higher, sliding deeper into my thigh. My body stiffened as his fingers brushed against my panties. My heart pounded loudly in my chest. Is Master doing what I think he’s going to do? I thought, panic slowly rising inside me. He leaned slightly closer to me, his shoulder brushing mine. “Try not to moan,” he whispered, my breath hitched. I tried my best to stay still, forcing myself to keep my expression calm as the men around the table continued their conversation. But under the table, his fingers kept teasing the fabric of my panties. My breathing grew uneven, then his fingers suddenly slipped inside. A small cough escaped my lips as my body jerked slightly from the sudden sensation. Several heads turned toward me. “Are you okay, Mrs. Enzo?” one of them asked with concern. My face burned with embarrassment. “Is something wrong? Did you choke on the food?” another man asked. “I think she choked on the food,” Enzo said calmly as he looked at me, his eyes held a warning.

When her family business goes bankrupt, Aurora Geordie, an illegitimate daughter, is sold off for 80,000 Dollar to an old bachelor as his wife, with the belief that it will change her fortune. On the day they register their marriage, Aurora Geordie meets her 'husband'—a man with fair skin, striking looks, and a perfect figure. This is supposed to be the...old bachelor in his thirties?