Dirty Jokes For Him Novels & Stories

I'm the only daughter of the Blackstone pack's pure-blooded Alpha. On the day of my coming-of-age ceremony, my life gets plunged into danger. Xavier Callahan is the one who blocks the deadly blow for me. Since then, I've fallen head over heels for him uncontrollably. What's more fortunate for me is that I've picked up on the unique scent of my fated mate from Xavier. That's how we successfully become mates. Everyone claims that I'm the happiest Luna. But everything changes when I get severely injured just to protect Xavier. It results in the disappearance of my wolf. For the sake of my safety, Xavier has issued half of the Moonlight pack's security detail to protect me. When I suffer from mental breakdowns, he skips his work just to keep me company. When I'm starting to recover, he even transfers me the authority equivalent to the power an Alpha holds. Xavier tells me that giving me the authority is the best way to prove how much he loves. But now, he's currently mating with another she-wolf in my bedroom. "She's just a loser who can't even usurp my throne as the Alpha. She's nothing like you."

On the morning of the day my fiance, Anton Solomon, and I are scheduled to start our destination wedding trip, he finally rushes to the airport straight from the office. Just seconds before boarding, he receives an urgent message from his female secretary, Callie Lawrence. "I'm sorry, honey. A major project just came in, and I need to be there to approve it. "Could you go ahead and start the trip on your own? I'll join you as soon as I wrap things up in a few days." Despite feeling a twinge of regret, I understand that work comes first, so I offer him my full support. After he leaves, I tear up my boarding pass and turn around. I decide to return to the office and see for myself. I want to see which blind, brainless company is negotiating a major project with a company I acquired hours earlier at dawn, and how it has the nerve to bypass me, the current CEO. They have chosen to approach a man who is nothing but a CEO in name only.

On my son Theo’s birthday, my husband Dashiell brought home his first love, Sabrina. My son was forgotten, I was ignored, and my mother-in-law treated me like a servant. Dashiell, instead of comforting me, declared that because Sabrina was dying of cancer, he would fake a divorce and marry her to fulfill her dying wish. I could no longer endure it—I decided to turn the “fake divorce” into a real one. Dashiell thought he had everything under control, but he underestimated me…

My groom was attacked a few hours before our wedding, and I was forced to marry his elder brother instead. They said that it was for everyone's good, but what about me? We took vows like robots reciting a statement: no emotion, no expression, just some unwilling words coming out of our mouths. Just like this, I was thrown in an abyss of marriage with no hope for the future. Above all, I became the stepmother of a three-year-old child who became excited when told that he now has a mother. I couldn't even muster the courage not to let that child enter my world. What do I do now? My marriage was a big deal for me. Even if it was an arranged business marriage, I tried to make it work with my first groom, but what about now? My husband - cold, indifferent, still grieving his first wife, and unapproachable to me in every way. What I wished for and what I got. What should I do now? What does destiny hold for me??

The night I planned to tell him who I really was—under the full moon—my boyfriend of three years, Logan, walked up to me with another woman on his arm. He looked down at me and said: "Seraphina. I've been formally appointed the new Alpha of the Greywolf Pack. Only an elder's daughter is fit to be my Luna. A pack-doctor with blood as thin as yours can crawl back to the slums and patch up Omegas where you belong." But I was the highest-born princess of the Werewolf Royal Pack. So tell me—shouldn't I just have my brother, the Werewolf King, strip the Alpha title off this man and exile him to the Frostlands to keep company with the rogues?

I always had a unique kind of mind-reading ability—I could hear the thoughts of people who didn't truly love me. On the night before my wedding, I suddenly heard my fiance's thoughts. 'If she shows up unexpectedly to disrupt the wedding tomorrow, will wearing leather shoes make it harder to escape?' I didn't say a word. The next day, without a second thought, I boarded a plane and left Chilia. In the end, that wedding, regarding a runaway bride and groom who never showed up, became the city's most infamous joke.

Everyone knows that I've been pursuing Ciara Hudson for several years now. For her sake, I reject a marriage alliance with the Langstons and invest ten billion dollars into saving the Hudsons from the brink of collapse. But on the night before our wedding, while attempting to appease her adopted brother, Carl Hudson, Ciara allows him to take her to bed, right in our marital home. After their steamy, sordid night together, Carl emerges from the bedroom dressed in my bathrobe, showing off the bite marks on his chest. Ciara simply brushes it off with a smile, saying that Carl was merely throwing a tantrum and that I shouldn't take it to heart. She even uses the marriage to threaten me, demanding that I give Carl a house and some of my company's shares to ensure he never wants for anything in life. She even says she'll make sure my family's lineage ends with me, all for Carl's sake. The disgruntled Carl runs off with my car and even crashes into me on purpose. Even as I slump on the ground, covered in injuries, Ciara runs straight to Carl, who has nothing more than a few scratches, without sparing me so much as a glance. As I lie on the hospital bed, my head finally clears. It occurs to me that my sacrifices have moved no one but myself, and how pointless it'll be to persist in them. I call up Serena Langston, my business rival, and tell her I'll go through with the proposed marriage alliance between our families. Since Ciara has betrayed me, I don't want her anymore.

As the plane was going down, we discovered one of the parachutes was defective. In that life-or-death moment, Eugene Shaw handed me the last working parachute. I made it to the ground, but my illegitimate sister, Sharon Cook, was lost in the crash, her remains never recovered. After our rescue, Eugene kept his word and married me, fulfilling our engagement. The wedding was extravagant, but our marriage was a complete disaster. For six years, he lived with a searing hatred, convinced I was responsible for Sharon’s death. To him, I was a villain, and my life became a living hell. When we finally reached the end of our toxic marriage, Eugene dragged me back to the site of the crash, choosing to end both our lives in a twisted act of vengeance. When I opened my eyes again, I was back on that fateful day, just before the crash. This time, I decided to give the chance of survival to the person he loved most.

I had been married to Derek for six years, and we had a three-year-old son. He was poor, earning only $2,000 a month, but I had no complaints; I took care of everything at home for him. After getting dinner on the table for the whole family, I finally had a minute to check my phone. A video popped up on my feed: a twenty-two-year-old girl from a rural area whose hands, roughened by years of hard labor, looked like they belonged to a sixty-two-year-old woman. I looked down at my own hands, just as worn and scarred, and stared at them blankly before tapping into the comments. I expected people to feel bad for her. However, to my surprise, the comments section was flooded with a single sentiment: "Why would anyone marry a penniless loser?" One of the top-liked comments came from a couple; in their photo, they were pictured holding hands—fingers tightly intertwined—with the girl sporting a massive diamond ring. The accompanying caption read: "A man who truly loves you would never bear to let you suffer." I felt a pang of envy. Given the choice, who wouldn't want a glamorous life? As I was about to close the app, I accidentally tapped on the couple's photo, enlarging it. In the background, previously too blurry to make out, was a face I recognized. It looked exactly like my husband, Derek Sterling. I froze, and almost against my will, I tapped into the account's profile. Post after post of lavish photos of them together flooded my screen. And then I saw him clearly. The scar above his brow, the one he got when a shelf fell on him while protecting me, was still plainly visible. It was my husband. It was Derek.

I thought losing my cheating husband was the worst day of my life. I was wrong. My name is Maya Winters, and I spent six years trying to make Damien Cross love me. Six years being the perfect wife to a billionaire who looked at me like I was invisible. Then he brought home his secret daughter and her mother, handed me divorce papers, and destroyed what was left of my stupid heart. Two weeks later, I lost our baby—the one he never knew about until it was too late. I thought my life was over. Turns out, it actually was. Now I'm trapped in something called THE SURVIVAL GAME with twelve other dead people, including my ex-husband. We have to survive forty days of deadly children's games. Red Light Green Light. Hide and Seek. Simple games with one terrible rule: lose and you die for real. But that's not even the worst part. One of us is a spy working for the Game Master. One of us is making sure people die. And I have no idea who to trust—especially not Damien, who keeps looking at me like he actually cares now that we're both fighting for our lives. The prize for winning? One wish for anything I want. Money. Power. Revenge. Or even a second chance at the love that destroyed me. Forty days. Thirteen players. Only one winner. Game on. Warning: This story contains mature themes, violence, and intense situations. Recommended for readers 18+.