Dirty Orphan Jokes Novels & Stories

Eliana, an orphan at Safe Haven Orphanage, escaped for a good reason: to relieve Headmistress Rosie of her burden. However, her life began to change when she entered the dark, frightening mansion with a living beast, Caleb, an Alpha who chose to lock himself due to the death of his Luna. Would their lives be altered once they discovered that reincarnation had occurred?

Mia Nova is sold to the devil to clear her fathers debt. Luca Barone, known in whispered fear as Diavolo, doesn’t just collect money, he also collects souls. Luca expects to meet a broken Mia who will plead for her life with tears and vivid fear. Instead he meets a petty thief who fears nothing. She smiles when he threatens to sell her to men, and makes jokes about her breast size not being enough for these men. In Luca’s world, the biggest currency is fear, but it seems Mia is bankrupt. When she steps into Pandemonium, his secret lair where powerful men are undone, she becomes the queen of the night, raking in five hundred million dollars in her first night. They make a second deal. The freedom of her soul costs six billion dollars in the six months of her gracing the golden chair every night. A kiss seals the deal. That same kiss changes everything between them. He becomes possessive, and she wants to surrender to him, but the ghost of the woman who graced the chair before her, returns with a fire that is set to burn everything down. Mia must decide between running from the Devil who owns her, or staying with the man who no longer wants to.

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

At dinner, Tiffany White grabs my fiance's phone and spends 100 thousand dollars on a designer bag. She even sticks her tongue at me. "Come on, Meredith. You're loaded. You won't mind such a small amount, right? Shawn and I share everything. His money is my money," she says. Everyone at the table waits for me to lose my temper or smile and let it slide like a saint. Instead, I calmly take out a voice recorder and my laptop from my bag and adjust my gold-rimmed glasses. "100 thousand meets the threshold for criminal filing. Since you said you two share everything, I have to ask—is this embezzlement or an illegal transfer tied to an improper personal relationship? "Oh, and what you just said about 'his money is my money'? I recorded that. According to the supplemental clauses in our prenup and the company bylaws, I'm officially initiating an asset-freezing order against Shawn Harrison." I turn to Tiffany. "Enjoy your free meals in prison, Ms. White." Shawn is livid. "It was just a joke, Meredith. Is it really necessary to ruin me over this?" I hit the "enter" key. "Sorry. In my book, there are no jokes—only bad debt."

Cordelia Johnson‘s life seemed like a bed of roses until fate decided to snatch that from her by killing her parents on their way from the Netherlands in a tragic Boeing 737 plane crash. That was the beginning of Cordelia’s misery. Life began to treat her harshly. Objecting to making the best out of life, she used dirty means to gain money, mingling with a Famous streetwalker. Eventually entwining with the Gang Leader of the twelve eyed dragon clan, Jared Lambert, who she never thought could fall in love with her.

Somebody has a dirty little secret. Determined to prove herself as a private investigator and catch a cheater, Cassie Woods discovers more than she bargained for, when the unveiling of a devastating secret initiates the emergence of an unwanted gift.Nothing is ever simple.Her personal life is chaos.Her professional life is a mine field.Her hormones are raging out of control.It's going to be an awe-inspiring lesson in self-restraint. This story contains sexually explicit language, profanity, and violence and is not suitable for readers under 18.Third Eye P.I. is created by RavennaYoung, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

Everybody is different. May it be with the way you look, your sexual orientation or your beliefs and culture. Tori Kingstein has always thought of herself as someone who’s different. She never liked boys. Yes, she's gay. Tori then was sent to her mum’s old school, an all-girls boarding school in hopes of her not getting herself a boyfriend at a young age. But jokes on her parents, cause she actually swings the other way around. And little did she know that entering Whistler High School for Girls would put her on a mission with other girls, like her who aren’t white, to end the discrimination, inequality, too much use of white privileges and the use of wealth and power to stay on top by some students, especially by the school's student council officers. After knowing this, Tori is set on finishing her mum's past role in this group—and that is to destroy the unfair treatment of the school and the student council to students who what they call “aren’t white and as rich as them”, but Tori has a secret. It’s just that... She might have a tiny bit of crush on the student council's president who's no other than Amelia Harriet Williams. What could go wrong, right?

They say society looks down on divorced women, especially those who are no longer “beautiful” in its eyes but Amara doesn’t care. After ten years of being the perfect wife, enduring whispers about her looks, the cruel jokes about her weight, and the constant reminders from her husband that she’s “not beautiful enough,” she’s done. Her husband not only cheats on her… he moves his pregnant mistress into their marital home and flaunts her like a prize. When Amara asks for a divorce, he vows to destroy her. Promising to make her life so miserable she’ll come crawling back. But he’s wrong because Amara would rather die than return to him. In her search for a way out, she crosses paths with Lucian Rostova. He's dangerous. Ruthless and filthy rich. Lucian offers her a deal: he’ll help her ruin her ex-husband and his mistress if she agrees to marry him for one year. With her back against the wall, Amara says yes. But deals with the devil always come with a price. Will Lucian truly protect her like he promises… or will he crush her and leave her bleeding out in the cold?

Elena thought she would never mate with anyone in her life because she didn't trust men: her pack's Alpha possessed her twin sister at a very young age of her, and her father ran a business selling other girls including her best friend. All the men in the world were dirty, cunning, selfish, violent bastards to her, until she met Alpha Archer. But just when she was finally able to trust, he cut off their mate bond.

This is the story of how Kyliena struggles to get over her messy breakup with ex-player Blake, which left her heart shattered and fearful of love. Or maybe it's the story of how Kyliena and a strange wolf-like dog come together through a midnight bike accident, forgotten truths, dirty small-town secrets, pumpkin pie, and when mythical beings turn out to not be all so mythical after all. And did I mention pie? Go grab a slice and sink your eyes into this story, it's going to be a long ride.