Dirty Tagalog Jokes

Tinakbuhan ni Cassandra ang sariling kasal para makatakas sa arranged marriage na ginawa ng kaniyang ama. Sa kaniyang pagtakas, makikilala niya si Rico Varela na nakatira sa teritoryo ng mga low class. Dahil anak siya ng isang tycoon, kinailangan niyang magpanggap na isang ordinaryong babae. "Ako si Sandy at hindi isang diyamanteng kumikinang." Sinakyan naman ito ni Rico at naniwala sa kasinungalingan niya. "Mukha ngang mababa ang estado mo sa buhay. Wala kang matinong tsinelas." Bubuweltahan niya sana ang binata ngunit naalala niyang nagpapanggap nga pala siyang mahirap. Kahit inis na inis na siya ay kailangan niyang magtiis. Lalo na't kinamumuhian ng binata ang mga katulad niyang lumaki na may ginto sa higaan.

“Hold her mouth open, she’s too polite to ask for it.” A firm hand grips my jaw, keeping it wide, as another man groans above me, thick and pulsing, his cock sliding against my tongue with punishing rhythm. She was supposed to be a transaction. One night. A girl forced to sell herself for money, and three men who could offer more than she’d ever dreamed, for a price. But Harper isn’t like the others. When she steps into that hotel suite, fragile and brave all at once, she isn’t just agreeing to pleasure. She’s agreeing to surrender. And something about her, about the way she flinches, the way she obeys, the way she doesn’t ask for more, makes them all pause. They own a club built on power, discipline, and unshakable rules. But she doesn’t know any of that yet. All she knows is what it feels like to be touched like she matters, just once. When they ask if she wants more, she says the wrong thing. “I’d have to ask Mark.” What should’ve been a second arrangement turns into a revelation. Because they know what Mark is. And now they know what he’s been doing to her. Two days later, they offer her another night. Same price. Only this time… they don’t plan on letting her go back. “Good girls take it. All of it. Even when it hurts.” I scream into the pillow as one thrusts deeper, harder, while the other presses his weight against my back, whispering filth into my ear and slapping my thigh until I shake.

Walang ibang pinangarap si Paloma kung hindi ang maging isang kilalang modelo. Naabot na niya ang pangarap na 'yon dahil unti-unti na siyang nakikilala at nagkakapangalan sa industriya pero ang lahat ng kanyang pinaghirapan ay mawawala dahil sa isang gabing pagkakamali. Arken Fernandez is a perfectionist guy. Business minded person at priority ang kanyang trabaho. Paano kung isang gabi ay pareho silang magkamali? Papanindigan ba nila ang pagkakamaling 'yon? Mahuhulog ba sila sa isa't isa? O mananatiling lihim ang lahat ng naganap nang gabing 'yon pati na ang naging bunga nito?

Ava, is a woman with big ambitions who will do her best to get them. She is capable of sacrificing anything, including the one she loves. Because of her dream, Ava had to leave. Harris is a man who is unconcerned about his own life. Everyday he will get drunk, as well as play with the hearts of the women he'll meet. When he met Ava, everything changed. He transformed into a decent man for Ava. Misty, on the other hand, is an obsessed hopeless romantic. Envy-filled woman, she was consumed by rage, allowing her to accomplish anything she wanted. Regardless of what will happen, she will do anything to make Ava miserable. Will Harris love be strong enough to wait Ava's return? Will they return to each other's arms when the right time comes? After everything Ava had to sacrifice, can she still choose to be with Harris?

"You wanna try and be my medicine, Lilah?” He asked with a deep testing tone, keeping his voice quiet. "I can try.” I breathe out as I gulp when his grip tightens "Try me.” His hand slides up my throat, his long fingers wrapping tight around my jaw. “That's what you really want?" I nodded, sighing out a shallow yes, and I could see every muscle in his body tense, as he wets his lips; hoarsely murmuring his next sentence like its his last try at making me change my mind. "I'm dangerous, Lilah, this is your last chance." My stomach twists and knots, as I use every ounce of bravery I have. "Prove it then."

| PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER FILIPINO NOVEL | Selene, a 19-year-old Psychology student, was diagnosed with schizophrenia—a chronic brain disorder which causes delusions and hallucinations. She refused to accept this fact, believing she’s perfectly fine. It was too late when she figured out the truth: it was a misdiagnosis. It was not that disorder that led her to kill her schoolmates and her father.

Handa kang ipagbili ang sarili mo kapalit ng buhay ng taong pinakamamahal mo?
Para kay Laura, ang sagot ay oo. Pero ang kapalit—isang kontratang nakatali sa dugo at isang lalaking kinatatakutan ng lahat. Si Nikolas, ang tinaguriang Mafia King na walang puso.
Ngunit sa likod ng malamig niyang mga mata, may mga lihim na mas mapanganib pa sa bala.
At nang mabunyag ang totoo na ang halimaw ay isa lamang palabas, at ang tunay na kasalanan ay konektado sa sariling ama ni Laura magsisimula ang laban sa pagitan ng pag-ibig at paghihiganti.
Dahil minsan, ang puso ang pinakamabangis na kontrata sa lahat.

Gracie, daughter of Lucifer, was sent to Earth to find her brother who ditched his responsibilities in Hell. Her brother was disguised as a teacher in an elite high school so she went there as a 16-year-old high school student.The only plan was to forcibly dragged her brother back to Hell but things changed when her life turns upside-down. She was tangled in campings, field trips, school plays which she really hated to the hell and back. Between those happenings, she met David, a human with a cold personality but with a very biblical name.David was already engaged with another human but the blame was on her when the girl suddenly died. Because ever since she arrived at that school, killings never stopped but she swears in the name of her father and all her uncles, she did not do the deed.Can she successfully persuade her brother to go back home when all of the happenings in school are not according to her liking?What about David? She liked that damn human.

Ashley has never been in love, until Gem comes into her life. But the bad news is, ikakasal na ang lalaki. She'll remain his best friend for the rest of their lives. For the last time, sumagal si Ashley, she hope that Gem will see her as a woman. Things went out of control at nauwi ang lahat sa kasalan. But Ashley has a dark secret that she keeps from Gem. Alam niyang masisira ang lahat kapag nalaman ni Gem ang bagay na hindi naman niya sinasadyang gawin sa binata. Will Gem finds the forgiveness from his heart after he finds out Ashley's secret? Or will he ends up punishing Ashley for the rest of their whole marriage life?

HAYDEN HUNTER WILLIAMS. Talented, matipuno, matalino at ubod na gwapong taga-pagmana ng Williams' business empire. Eldest son of Atalia Suarez- Williams and Hunter Williams (from the book " Famous ft Nobody"). He is like a true emperor that capable of running his own kingdom well. Wala nang kulang pa sa pagkatao n'ya. That's what he thought. He manages their businesses and anchored it to triple their already extemely vast wealth. Kaya everytime na maibalitang papasukan ng mga Williams ang isang investment, halos magkakandarapa at mag-uunahan ang mga investors na magsisipag -invest dito. He is the youngest yet the richest CEO in the business world. And he is the very last kind of person you wanna trifled with. He has no plans on getting married, but he definitely wants a child. Who could it be this lucky girl he wants to offer his seed with? Is she really lucky enough or maybe the total opposite? Find it out on how this "almost perfect" man's story unfold and how he deal the obstacles along the way. Note: This story is a sequel of my first book "Famous ft Nobody". It is a love story of Hayden's parents.