Drunk Funnies Novels & Stories

What to do when you're in love with your best friend's girl? For Jordan Baker, the answer is obvious - steer clear. But sometimes, life has other plans... Evan and Karli Anders have been married for five years. She’s making plans for them when he gets home from his business trip. An unexpected knock at the door turns out to be Jordan Baker – confirmed bachelor, Evan’s best friend, and the man she’s convinced can’t stand her – standing there, still in his EMT uniform, to give her the most horrible news of her life… Evan’s been killed in a drunk driving accident. Karli must now navigate burying her husband, then prepare to face an additional challenge alone - have and raise the child she just found out she's carrying. Or so she thinks. What she doesn’t realize is that Jordan would happily step up and be the loving partner she wants and needs for the rest of her life - if she’ll only let him in. But an unforeseen twist could dash all Jordan’s hopes for good.

The yacht that my parents and my younger sister, Amanda Portman, were on exploded in the middle of the sea. None of them survived. Despair and heartbreak fill my senses when I'm faced with an empty home and an astronomical debt. Just as I'm about to jump off a rooftop, I see comments appearing before my eyes all of a sudden. "The truth is, your parents have won a jackpot of 300 million dollars. They've taken Amanda on an overseas trip for some fun!" "Heheh! Amanda doesn't even know that the so-called poor and blind boyfriend, whom she's just broken up with, is the heir of the Wright family. He's just pretending to be poor around her." "Once Amanda comes home after spending all of her money, she will get imprisoned by the enraged Mr. Wright as a form of punishment." "Hey, cannon fodder! Hurry up and die already! I can't wait for Amanda to make her glorious return!" It's at that moment I decide not to die. That night, I barge into Xavier Wright's rented apartment while completely drunk and drenched.

His precious childhood sweetheart got drunk one night and ended up in a stranger’s bed. When she showed up again, she was pregnant—just like me. On the day I gave birth, Harold handed me the divorce papers. "Rachel’s about to return to acting," he said coldly. "She and the baby need a proper title. If a scandal breaks out, it’ll destroy her." Dragging my frail body, I calmly signed the papers. In my previous life, I refused to step aside. I went live, holding my daughter, and exposed the award-winning actress Rachel Underwood for knowingly becoming the other woman. The internet turned on her. She lost every endorsement and was driven to the edge by massive fines—eventually jumping off a building. Harold quietly took care of her funeral... and then stood by as her fans harassed me in the streets, even tried to burn my child and me alive. It was not until I saw him lock the door behind us that I realized—he had wanted us dead all along. Then I woke up. And it was the day he gave me the divorce agreement... again.

"You're not Isabella. But you will be. Starting tonight." Elara has nothing. No family. No money. She grew up in foster care. She cleans toilets for a living. Until the night she scrubs the penthouse bathroom of Alexander Blackwood, a billionaire CEO. He walks in drunk, sees her face, sees the star-shaped birthmark behind her ear, and calls her Isabella. Isabella is his wife. She disappeared six months ago. She was declared dead. And she looks exactly like Elara. Now Elara is forced to wear a dead woman's clothes, sleep in her bed, and pretend to be someone she never met. The mansion is full of secrets. The housekeeper watches her every move. The charming brother offers help that feels too calculated. And Alexander knows more about Isabella's disappearance than he admits. But Elara survived foster care by staying quiet and watching. Now she's watching them. And she's going to find out what happened to her sister—even if it means tearing the Blackwood family apart from the inside. She came to clean their toilets. She's staying to bury their secrets.

I am Alpha Alexander's fated mate, and I am meant to be his luna. However, no one ever discovers this secret for six whole years. Why? That was because I am a lowly Omega. Alexander Smith believes that I deliberately got him drunk and is using our child to ascend the ranks. He doesn't even let our son call him "Dad." For his sake, I shed blood and sweat for six long years. I am an Omega, yet I am working harder than any other higher-ranked werewolf. I take on every dirty, exhausting job for the sake of his pack. I take the lead and charge ahead in every dangerous mission. Until that negotiation… I fall into a trap set by an enemy pack and almost lose my life. I wait and hope desperately as I writhe in my hospital bed. My wounds heal slowly, but Alexander never comes to see me. Instead, he goes to his first love, Vivian Anderson. The day I recover, I walk into the Elders' Council and submit my request to leave the pack without hesitation.

The person I don't wanna see again was really Infront of me. "Dave?" I asked. "Yes Amber it's me, so glad you didn't forget my name" He said. How could I forget the person who broke me. "You need to sleep a little longer" Dave said to me. And I saw him injected something on me and it makes me slept again. The moment I wake up I saw Dave staring at me. "Hey, are you watching me while I'm sleeping?" I asked. "Yeah, you love it when I watched you sleeping" he answered. The heck he didn't forget those little things that I loved him doing. "Why did you drink too much alcohol I told you before that your body reacts bad on this activity right, look at you now you are here at the hospital instead of enjoying your bridal shower" He still a good man I know, he still the one who's got so angry when I drunk too much alcohol.

My dad is a rich scion who has been kidnapped to a compound. He keeps telling me that he'll escape with me since I was a little kid. When I was six years old, Dad made all the preparations to escape. He planned on leaving the compound with me. But I didn't hesitate to expose Dad's plans to my grandma just for a piece of bread. While I munched on the bread happily, Dad got strung up on a tree and whipped mercilessly by others. He glared at me resentfully while screaming at me for being a bastard. Hearing his cursing made me sad. I couldn't understand why Dad wanted to leave this home. Three days later, Dad killed himself by smashing his head against a boulder. After Mom got drunk, she accidentally beat me to death. As I felt my life slipping away, I finally understood what Dad meant. When I open my eyes again, I've returned to the day Dad wants to escape. But I choose to expose his plans to Grandma once again.

A kidnapper's gun was pressed to Lena's temple and mine, the whole scene streaming live online. "Nolan," the kidnapper said, "your wife, Donna, or your first love. Only one of them walks away alive. Choose." On the other side of the screen, my husband, Don Nolan Winston, head of the Winston family, did not hesitate for even a second. "Let Lena go. As for that woman, do whatever you want with her." I looked into the camera and laughed until tears ran down my face. For seven years, I had stood by him as he rose from the Winston family's illegitimate son to the first Don of the Italvia mafia. I had taken knives for him, drunk with him, even lost a child along the way. So in the end, in his eyes, I had been nothing more than a pawn he could discard at any moment. "Did you hear that?" the kidnapper sneered at me. I turned and ran toward the cliff. Facing the camera, I spoke my final words. "Nolan, I'm giving this life back to you. We're even now."

Rose was so naive that she didn't know Jonah, her ex-fiancé, was cheating on her even before her wedding day. On the night before her wedding, she caught him cheating on her with the last person she would ever expect him to be with, Rebecca. Out of anger and spite, she cursed at them and left, then went and got herself drunk and made out with a mafia don, who, oblivious to her, was her fiancé's stepbrother and his boss. On the day of the wedding, she stormed in and canceled it, calling Jonah out. After the embarrassment, Jonah vowed to make her life miserable. She tried to get a job, but it was almost impossible because of the influence Jonah had. So she went to the greatest mafia don that her friend Lucy recommended to her. When she went to ask for his help, the don turned out to be the mysterious man who had been showing interest in her, but she had kept declining. Unbeknownst to her, he was her ex-fiancé's boss and stepbrother. She asked for his help, and he offered it, of course, but on one condition.that she would be his mistress !.

My husband of five years, Eric Vale, came home drunk again. As I laid him in our bed, he murmured, “Don’t worry, my love… I’ll take care of you and our baby.” My heart stopped. Baby? We’d been on birth control since the day we married. There was no baby. I shook him lightly. “What are you talking about, Eric?” He blinked at me, confused, then smiled like nothing had happened. “Hey, babe… did I say something?” The next morning, I checked our joint account. Every month, ten thousand dollars had been wired to a woman named Bella Evers. Yesterday, he sent two hundred thousand more—with a note: I can’t wait for our baby to be born. Bella was Eric’s mistress and was now six months pregnant. So I made one call. “Papa,” I told the most feared Don in the South, “I’m getting a divorce.” I glanced at my sleeping husband. “I want him gone. And I want him broke.”