Drunk Funnies Novels & Stories

Eight years ago, my cousin Wendy Cooper was involved in a drunk driving hit-and-run. Yet, my parents made sure all the evidence pointed toward me. The victim's family waited outside my school every day with gasoline, threatening to die with me. Because of that, the school took away my guaranteed admission to university. That day, my parents and brother all tried to persuade me. "Wendy's terrified. Just give her your spot to make her feel better." I refused, fought back, and even tried to talk them out of it. But the next day, they handed me over to the police themselves. Lance Stewart, my fiance and a powerful business tycoon, had orchestrated it all. As he was afraid I'd run or cause trouble, he personally pinned several charges on me and sent me to an isolated island prison. He left me with no way out. When my sentence began, he made me a promise. "Esme, just endure it for a few years. I'll get you out once Wendy graduates, and then we'll get married."

After the college entrance exams ended, I got drunk, pinned the school genius against the wall, and confessed to him. When I opened my eyes again, I had somehow jumped ten years into the future. Not only was I married to the guy I once had a crush on, we even had a son together. A seven-year anniversary cake sat on the table, and my heart nearly burst with happiness. Then my son tricked me into a dark storage room. "Today is Mandy's birthday! I won't let you bother Dad!" "I'm protecting Dad and Mandy's happiness!" Separated by a single wall, I suddenly realized something. My husband did not love me. And neither did my son. By the time the servants finally let me out, I beat my son so hard he burst into tears. "You evil woman! How dare you hit me! I'm telling Dad to divorce you!" I locked him back inside the room and let out a cold laugh. "Fine. Divorce it is. "Who says I care about either of you?"

Lain Navier Edevane, an assassin haunted by his past, is on a dangerous mission to avenge the brutal murder of his family. Assigned by the dark tide, an organization that controls assassins worldwide, he has no choice but to carry out their evil commands. Galen, Lain's superior, hands him a picture of a girl, instructing him to eliminate target 0351. Lain, with a smug expression, asks when she should be killed. His superior warns him not to underestimate her, as she is no ordinary girl. Lain has one hour to complete the mission, knowing that failure is not an option, as it would cost him his life. Galen handed Lain a picture of a girl. Lain frowned, disliking dirting hands. His superior ordered him to eliminate target 0351, warning that she was not an ordinary girl. Lain asked when she should be killed, and was given an hour. Failure meant death. Lain recognized the supernatural nature of his target, but his tracking abilities made finding her easy. In the club, he spotted the only redhead. In the dim light, Lain drew his dagger and approached the drunk girl with precision. As he was about to stab her, their eyes met and something awakened within him. “MATE!”

Alice found out that her boyfriend has a relationship with her cousin. But instead of asking for her forgiveness, the two of them insulted and mocked her. Her heart broke into pieces. She decided to get drunk to forget the pain even just for a moment but she ended up having a one-night stand with a stranger and all she knows about him is that he is an Alpha of a werewolf pack. Alice got pregnant with two cute little boys with that alpha stranger. After seven years, Alice's twins begged her to find their daddy because they wanted to know who their father was. That's when Alice started to look for the man she had a one-night stand with and found three possible alpha daddies of her twins. Is it Alpha Anton, an easy-go-lucky alpha and always willing to help her anytime? Or is it Alpha Jem, a kind alpha who confessed his feelings to her and already loves her twins? Or maybe it's Alpha Jacob, a ruthless and grumpy alpha who was feared by many alphas? Will Alice successfully find the Alpha Daddy of her twins and complete their family? But what if the Alpha Daddy already has his chosen mate?

For eight years, I was Vincent Capelli's wife, his right hand, and the only person who ever saw the man beneath the Don's cold mask. Then he got drunk at a negotiation, and slept with his secretary. He called me first, voice shaking with guilt. "Bella, I made a mistake. I paid her off. She'll never come back." I believed him. Six months later, he was ambushed in Miami. His secretary drove through a hail of bullets to save him. And she was three months pregnant. When she gave birth to twin boys, the whole Capelli family celebrated. Framed for stealing the family heirloom, I asked for a divorce. Vincent, desperate to keep me, dared me to drink a bottle of 150-proof spirit. He thought I'd never do it. I reached for the bottle. He stopped me, and gave me all the freedom I wanted. "Come back when you're done running," he said. I left and never looked back. Until the night three killers cornered me in an alley.

When I woke up with a hangover, I found a handsome and naked stranger sleeping beside me. --- I’m Tanya, a surrogate’s daughter, an omega with no wolf and no scent. On my 18th birthday, when I planned to give my virginity to my boyfriend, I found him sleeping with my sister. I went to the bar to get drunk, and accidentally had a one-night stand with the handsome stranger. I thought he was just an ordinary werewolf, but they said he was Marco, the alpha prince and the most powerful Lycan in our kingdom. ‘You slut, you’re pregnant! Fortunately, Rick is kind enough to let you be his mistress and save you from shame.’ my stepmother said, tossing a pregnancy strip on the table. Rick was an old pervert. No she-wolf could keep up with his sexual demand. No she-wolf could survive with him more than 1 year. When I was in despair, Marco came to my rescue. He got down on one knee, took out a ring and said he would marry me. --- I thought Marco married me because he loved me, but later I found that was not the truth…

Sarah has been dating her boyfriend for a year now and is waiting for him to propose to her. They were invited to a Christmas Eve party from his job. Sarah believes this will be the perfect setting for John to propose. However, during the party, she discovered John having sex with another woman. She confronted them both, but John became aggressive. Out of nowhere, a handsome stranger came to her rescue. The rest of the night, Sarah was drinking to erase the pain while the handsome stranger kept an eye on her to make sure she was safe. Sarah was so drunk that she wound up kissing the handsome stranger under the mistletoe, not knowing he was claiming her as his mate. The handsome stranger was determined not to leave Sarah and her drunken state at the party alone. He didn't know where she lived, so he took her to his penthousein the city. Sarah was the type of person who didn't believe in the supernatural. However, she finds out that this handsome stranger is not only her mate but also a werewolf. Will Sarah accept him as her mate, or will she run away scared? Only time will tell.

My husband, Kieran, is the heir to the Thompson family. In the three years of our arranged marriage, he has never once touched me. I told myself he was just cold and guarded, that I could find a way into his heart, little by little. Then one day he came home drunk, pinned me to the bed for the first time, and called out his first love's name. "Camilla, all these years... I've thought of you every second of every day..." That was when I knew. All the passion and love he possessed was already spent on another woman. I pushed him away, burned every photo of us, and went to a high-end club in New York full of handsome male models. Nine months later, I walked into the airport with my newborn baby in my arms. Later, Kieran searched the world for me, his eyes bloodshot. He asked in a trembling voice why I never told him I was pregnant, why I wouldn't let him see our baby. I glanced at him and gave a light, breezy smile. "Who said the baby was yours?"

She called him at two in the morning, wine-drunk and heartbroken, and told him everything. That her boyfriend of five years had been lying to her face. That she had built his business with her bare hands and he had been quietly cutting her out of it. That she was done being practical about love and intended to date every beautiful man she could find and she meant it. She did not mean to tell him he was on the list. Enoch Wade has been in love with his cousin since he saw her at her 19th birthday party. He has spent six years sending birthday gifts and keeping his distance and being exactly what she needed him to be, safe, reliable and family. The drunk call ends that strategy entirely. By morning she has an employment letter, a plane ticket, and three days to start over in London. What neither of them knows is that the tag that held them apart was never true. Some lines were meant to be crossed. some lines were never lines at all. My Dearest Beautiful Cousin — a forbidden romance

When my husband accompanies his childhood sweetheart to the vet to treat her pet fish, my son accidentally spills his drink on her. My husband watches as his childhood sweetheart's eyes redden. Then, he slaps my son hard and throws a stack of cash at him. "This is your chance to make up for your mistakes. Buy Wendy a dress—make sure it's white!" My son dries his tears while holding onto the money. He roams the streets, searching for a white dress in the middle of the night. When he finally finds one, he ends up getting beaten to death by some drunk hooligans. Even in death, he clutches the bloodied skirt tightly. I burst into tears of despair as I hold onto his body and call my husband over a dozen times. However, he's too busy with his childhood sweetheart's fish. He blocks my number. When he finally calls me back, he sounds icy and angry. "Wendy is still waiting for that dress! Where has the little brat gone to? Can't he even handle such a simple task?"