Dumb Funny Things Novels & Stories

Lily Collins is what you could consider as a girl with a purpose. By purpose, I mean to avoid trouble and to stay away from a certain blue eyed boy, with the means to torment her. A boy she can't help have undying feelings for...Asher Grey has everything, girls,money, people kissing at his feet so what more could he ask for? Other than the girl he finds pleasure in bullying, a girl he's in love with. At some point he won't be able to hold in his feelings any longer, it'll start to peek out.______________________________"You look like you just got banged!" He teased as he glanced at my state."What, no I don't?" I said, well more like asked uncertainly as I passed my hand through my unruly hair. I felt the disheveled strands as my finger tugged at some knots.Niall chuckled "Your hair is a mess and your shirt is inside out." He pointed out. My hand automatically went to my shirt as I tugged it and looked around at the prying eyes of the other students."Oh shit!" I muttered once I realized that indeed it was inside out. Gosh this is embarrassing. I pulled down my skirt suddenly feeling self conscious and pulled my shirt higher as I saw a little bit of my boobs peeking out."You also have a lot of love bites." He pointed out again louder than needed, making me give him a lethal look. If looks could kill he would have been dead right now. Maybe I can arrange that."Shut up don't point it out!" I hissed. I'm gonna kill Asher.

Despite being single, Molly May had become pregnant without her knowing how six years ago. As a result, she fell into disrepute and got abandoned by her family.Six years later, she returned with her triplets: Alex, Ben, and Claudia. The triplets with high IQ found that Sean Anderson was their biological father. Hence, they went to meet him without telling their mother.However, the CEO refused to recognize his offspring. “I have lived chastely and never had physical contact with a woman.”“DNA doesn’t lie, and that’s a fact,” said Alex, the eldest of the bunch.“People say men will forget what they've done after pulling on pants. It seems to be true,” said Ben, the middle child.“You should be happy and grateful to have three adorable kids and a beautiful wife,” said Claudia, the youngest of the bunch.While Sean played the role of a father and his relationship with the triplets grew rapidly, he was estranged from his wife.So the triplets taught him tips and tricks to pursue women: making bold moves, stealing kisses, proposing, etc.Nevertheless, Molly was distraught by his moves. “Such flirting skills befit an experienced male escort.”When Sean's identity was finally revealed, he retorted, “You are the 'escort.' Your entire family are 'escorts!'”

My husband, Jared Smith, let me take his spot for a highland vacation. After I departed, I found out that I won a random lottery that I had bought before for $50 million. In order to not delay the redemption of the lottery ticket, I took a red-eye flight back home and wanted to share the news with Jared. Before I went into the house, I heard his smug laugh. “That jacket belongs to Sammy, I’m sure! That dumb witch has been eaten by a bear! I’m so glad that Penny and I sent her on that trip.” It just so happened that the tour group chat sent a video of a member being eaten by a brown bear. My jacket was bloody. However, I was not the one who had been wearing that jacket. It had been his lover, Penny Lee.

How dumb enough does a nun get her nakedness out on camera for the whole world to see? When Lucy West listens to Dante Moritto’s confessions, she’s left wanting more and more , until she wants him. In the confessions booth, behind the wooden barricades, she realizes how lonely being a nun can be, she then decides to go out seeking for passion from him. Then the passion turns into love, and into betrayal when he leaks her sex tape. Only for her to be left excommunicated, alone and pregnant. She faces the harsh realities of life, alone, until he shows up one day, wanting her back. Does she take him back or let her spark of revenge come to life. Find out in this modern tale.

On her Husband's Birthday, Regina Campbell walked in on him with another woman. Worst of all, He felt no remorse and instead laughed at her for being dumb to think she deserved Love. After the divorce, Regina flee the city with the hope of starting over. However, Regina realized she was already pregnant for her now ex-husband. Right there --- Regina Campbell made a vow to herself. A vow to never let a man into her life , a vow to protect herself and her daughter. Four Years Later , her daughter was saved by a man who would stop at nothing to make her open her heart again. A presidential CEO being persistent to a single Mom? What could he possibly do to make her open her heart once more? How long until the feeling becomes undeniable?.

“Don't play dumb with me, You're an omega? Aren't you?” He asked, stepping forward his eyes darken. He sniffed the air, “You know when I entered the club, I could perceive your scent in the mid of hundred of scent here” He stepped closer, “Sweet, soft and almost familiar” he continued, his voice dropping as his eyes roamed on my body freely making me feel small and open. “Then you bumped into me, making me question my sanity. Is Crowley an omega?” Winston Crowley spent years pretending to be an Alpha to protect a secret powerful enough to ruin his life. One night with his rival changes everything. Now exposed to the world and hunted because of a prophecy, Winston must choose between protecting himself…or trusting the one man he never thought he’d fall for.

[ NOW ONGOING. ] ‘I can’t wait to make you mine, Lorelei.’ I read the text with a naughty smile. That’s Leo. The man I fell in love with via chat. I thought it was dumb to love someone you’ve never met, but look at me now. ‘I can’t wait for you to rip off my underwear.’ I texted and sent. Shivers ran down my spine while waiting for his response. Sexting through casual texts has become a thing I enjoy with him now. I bit my lips as I stared at our chat, anticipating. Just then, someone barged into my room. I put my phone down like I was doing something wrong. It was my mother. She has a worried look on her face. My father and stepmother walked in holding an envelope. I stared at them confused. “Pack your things and leave. You will get married on Thursday.” My father said cruelly. My brows creased and I tried to object but he held out the papers. “You don’t have a say in this Lorelei. I already sold you out.” What is he talking about? How can he arrange my own wedding? I knew I wasn’t my father’s favourite child, but this is next level hate. “Go and live with your husband. He bought you. And darling, there’s no turning back.” My stepmom added with a smile and threw the document on my bed. I picked it up and read the first page. ‘This contract seals the marriage between Ace Salvatore and Lorelei Stanley.’ Ace Salvatore? The man rumoured to be the devil himself.... My phone made a gentle ding and I looked at it. It was Leo. Tears cascaded my eyelids. How can I marry someone when I’m in love withsomeoneelse?

The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool. It's funny because it's true. I was innocent. Someone naive enough to trust so blindly and for that I was taken advantage of by liars. And now I have lost everything. But I was given a new life. A second chance to right the wrongs done against me. Now vengeance is on my mind. Hatred is in my heart. And love is in the air. But I don't know where it's coming from. Because I don't trust anyone. Not even the air I breathe.

There were five things I was absolutely certain I wouldn't miss even if I became blind: -The first one was the fact that I was a slave and my life would never go back to the way it was. -The Second one was the Duke who bought me was a dragon hiding his identity for a reason I didn't know. Weren't dragons supposed to be powerful and all? Using his race might give him a huge advantage in politics. -The third one I was certain the Duke was hungry for me and I started to love him. Furthermore, he was cursed and the cursed ones didn't live for more than a year. Conquering him was a lost cause; a battle with less than 50% of success. However… Was it really necessary to label numbers on everything that was happening? -The Fourth one: Was it really necessary for Dotoria, the human land, to curse the other races existing within its borders? I wasn't confident about the statement. Nonetheless, everyone was looking for a wish granter gem. The nine kingdoms collided eying the gemstone like a prize for dominion. -The Fifth one had the magic of belief in it; Do you work on your dream or stay back hiding behind a smoke of mist fearing failure? I wanted to escape but I gradually lost interest in it. The world was a mystery in my eyes and I was taught to never engage in a battle with less than 50% of success. Do I even have a dream because the only thing I wished for was the reason I was a slave. People were driven by dreams and goals and I didn't have one yet.

On the day of our marriage registration, Henry Davis’s first love returned.For her sake, he left me at the city hall.He said it was dangerous at night, so he brought his first love back to our new house.I, who was forced to leave, however, encountered a violent criminal.After narrowly escaping death, I finally made up my mind to leave him.But he cried and begged me to stay.I found it ridiculously funny and said, "Do you think I can accept a jerk like you who has no principles?"