Ed Sheeran Funny

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

Children beware, and please give care of things that go bump in the night. It all seems like fun when you provoke mayhem and run through the graveyard to give one a fright. Please heed our warning from dusk until morning giving caution to the naive. Goblins and Ghouls wait on the foolishly brave to pull beyond the hallow grave.

•••[Excerpt]••• "Stop... Stop!" Rosana's voice quivered as tears of fright brimmed her vision. She had been crying for hours, but not because she was leaving the beautiful life she had planned with her fiance behind. She was crying because her newly wedded husband had tortured and murdered a man mercilessly on their wedding night. "Stop, please..." He ignored her. "No... Stop touching me. Take your bloody hands off me!" Indeed, his hands were covered with the blood of the man he had killed earlier. But he didn't care. "S... Stop touching me!" He grabbed her neck and she gasped, her eyes widening in shock. "You shouldn't make me do this on our wedding night, Bambolina. You are mine and I will take whatever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want, and however I want, till death do us part, Mi Amor" ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ Rosana Marcello was already living the life she had dreamt about. With her boyfriend-turned-fiance by her side, nothing could be more perfect. Some weeks before the wedding, she was called back home by her parents and welcomed with devastating news. She had been betrothed since when she was a little girl but never knew. Now, he has come to claim what is rightfully his. With or without her approval. He is deadly, He is evil, He is the ruthless Sergio De Niro, known by everyone. Rosana can't escape this. She can't run away from him because he will comb the world and kill everyone in it, just to find her. She is now his possession, his property. It's either she tames him and melts his cold heart or he breaks her into a thousand pieces. Will she succeed or get consumed by his burning hell?

"I've... I've never touched a girl. I've never gotten this close to them. Please... Please stay away from me" "Don't worry," She whispers into his ears, sending sizzles down his spine. "I'm going to teach you everything. I'm going to fucking ruin you and I will spoil you In so many dirty ways." Her hand reaches upwards towards his inner thigh and he stiffens once it touches his crotch through his fabric. With clenched teeth, he shuts his eyes and tries so hard to hold back the groan that threatens to escape from his throat. •~•~• Shane Dalton is the second son of the powerful billionaire. He's got good looks and charms that make everyone fall for him. Renee, the new girl in town isn't an exception but what she can't believe is how extremely good he is. The rich and handsome guys she knew were either bad boys or rude jerks but Shane is nothing like that. He is a well trained good boy who is not ready to break all his rules and fall for a bad girl overnight but his life is turned upside down when he decides to stay away from home to avoid his brother who bullies him nonstop. He moves in to stay with his best friend's family only to realize that this new, beautiful but crazy girl now lives there too. As long as they stay under the same roof, Renee swears to spoil him completely till he's fully damaged beyond repair. Will she succeed? He must either resist her charms and attraction or completely fall into her trap.

Tolong bijak dalam membaca! Di dalam cerita ini mengandung unsur 21+ dan juga Comedy yang akan membuat Anda terhibur, Shassy adalah kekasih Raka, yang merupakan sepupu dari Keenan sang CEO tampan yang terkenal dengan sifatnya yang dingin dan kejam.Tapi di sisi lain, Shassy bekerja sebagai sekertaris pribadi dari Keenan. Shassy pun mendapat julukan 'Sekertaris Terkuat' karena sanggup bekerja dengan Keenan lebih dari satu bulan.Tekanan dari Keenan sempat membuat Shassy frustasi. Tapi dukungan yang tidak di harapkan oleh Shassy, muncul dari orang terdekat Keenan. Dukungan itu memaksa Shassy untuk terus bersama dengan Keenan.Hingga akhirnya … "Keen, besok aku akan bertunangan dengan Shassy," ujar Raka"Apa kamu buta, hingga mau bertunangan dengan wanita itu," dengus Keenan, yang tak bisa mengungkapkan alasan di balik kalimatnya itu,Akankah Shassy dan Raka bersatu seperti janji mereka? Ataukah ia akan beralih menjadi menantu dari Mutiara Andara-ibu dari Keenan yang sangat menyayanginya?HAPPY READING …,

Lelaki itu berharap mendapatkan perawan sebagai pacar dan istrinya nanti, tapi apalah daya, bukannya perawan yang mendekat, melainkan para janda. Yang manakah yang akan dipilih olehnya?

Pernikahan tersembunyi antara Salsa dan Dewa. Lika-liku perjalanan kisah cinta yang rumit, dari mulai jati diri Salsa yang ternyata putri kandung Bram, ayah tiri Dewa. Lalu Dewa yang kelahirannya tidak pernah diinginkan oleh kakeknya. Bagaimana nasib pernikahan Dewa dan Salsa? Mampukah mereka menghadapi pahit manisnya bahtera rumah tangga???

Content Warning 21++ Kedua lutut Grace terasa lemas, dia pun jatuh berlutut. Tak pernah disangka, dia akan dipermalukan seperti saat ini, tak ada lagi kata-kata konyol, makian, atau ketololan yang biasa Grace lakukan terhadap Edward. Edward berlutut di belakang Grace, kedua tangannya memegang bahu Grace, “Berbaliklah, lihat aku,” ujar Edward, nada suaranya melemah. Grace berbalik, kedua matanya benar-benar sudah merah. Entah mengapa kondisi saat itu berbeda dengan pertama kali dia bertemu Edward, tak ada perasaan malu atau terhina seperti yang dirasakannya sekarang. "Kau sudah puas?” Edward tak banyak bicara, menarik tubuh Grace ke dalam dekapannya, "Maafkan aku, maaf ... kumohon.” "Kenapa?” "Sssht ... diamlah, biarkan aku memelukmu, bukan seperti ini yang kuinginkan, kenapa kau selalu membuatku kesal dengan semua tingkah lakumu?!” "Kau tak menginginkannya, Ed?” "Apa maksudmu?” Edward memejamkan kedua matanya, menarik kepala dan mencium kening Grace. "Tidak, bukan ini yang aku mau, aku terbawa emosi. Grace, entah kenapa setiap aku melihat Kevin menyentuhmu, dadaku terasa sesak, dan kau membuatnya semakin parah. Aku tak mengerti perasaan apa ini.”

"Say, lo mau jadi pacar gue nggak? Kalau nggak mau ya udah, gue aja yang jadi pacar lo."Bagi Danish tawuran adalah hiburan. Tidak perlu balok kayu, pedang panjang atau senjata ramah lingkungan untuk menaklukan lawan, sebotol sunblock bisa diandalkan untuk menghadapi sekolah musuh. Sebab panas matahari bisa membakar kulit dan pukulan balok di tubuh tidak lebih menyeramkan dibanding ancaman kanker. Lagipula glowing butuh usaha dan wajah gantengnya harus dijaga.Danish akan menghadapi mereka dengan tangan kosong, kecuali kepepet boleh ambil balok. Namun dia jatuh hati pada seorang gadis anak perwira TNI. Tentu saja itu sebuah tantangan bagi siswa badung yang gemar tawuran. Apakah gadis itu akan berhasil Danish dapatkan?