Fifty Shades Of Ugly
"Okay, Ruby, get me your strongest coffee. I don't want you putting any of that shit you call sweeteners, alright?"
Ruby's eyes scanned the table, his expression a perfect blend of boredom and politeness. "Hmm, anything else from you folks?"
Doris, her voice sweet as honey, spoke up. "I'd like a latte with lots of that shit you call sweetener. Okay?"
Ethel's face contorted in disgust. "You'd die from diabetes."
Doris shot back, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "And you from herpes."
Agnes, her voice gentle as a summer breeze, turned to Ruby. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?"