F Up Jokes

My husband, Theodore, was about to take his childhood sweetheart, Rosalie, around the world in a hot-air balloon when I was kidnapped by his enemy. They were about to throw me into a snake pit. I gave up asking Theodore for help and called my father-in-law instead. In my previous life, I begged Theodore to save me, even kneeling in front of the phone camera. Hence, he abandoned the hot-air balloon ride with Rosalie and rushed to negotiate with the kidnapper. Rosalie was all alone and angry. She took another hot-air balloon, but it exploded mid-way, causing her to die on the spot without even leaving behind an intact corpse. Hearing the bad news, Theodore showed a rare calm expression. He seemed to forget about Rosalie's existence and took me on a trip around the world. As we were sailing in Norwol, he suddenly pushed me into the sea. "I should never have saved you. Snake pit? Kidnapper? How could they have had the courage to push you into it? I should've never saved you if I knew it'd kill Rosalie. You should go to hell sooner!" When I opened my eyes again, I had come back to the day I was kidnapped. This time, I chose not to call for help. Humble love would only leave you bruised and battered.

One night of forbidden magic changed the fate of a wallflower to that of a seductress. Insanely intelligent Sophia Morales works at New York’s most elite law firm, where she is constantly overworked and treated like a maid even though she’s the most intelligent woman in that law firm. She had one wish—to stop being a wallflower and be powerful even for just a day. One night of magic changes everything when she’s dragged into a downtown occult salon by her best friend, she is thrown into a world of glamour magic. With this newfound beauty, she proceeds to have her first drunk one-night stand ever with a stranger in the dark; she feels great until he works in the office some days later as her new boss. Sophia’s presence and aura begin to shift. She becomes glowing and irresistible. Men want her; women want her. Women envy her too. She’s happy with the fact that her power was no longer in her brain alone but in every strut she takes. Her boss becomes too obsessed with her. Her mentors become jealous; secret betrayal begins. Envy is dangerous; will she be able to cope with the repercussions of this magic? And is it reversible?

"Whose illegitimate child are you pregnant with?" My parents demand to know, looking crazed. They want to know whose child I'm carrying. I look at them and laugh. "One of the kidnappers, of course." My parents and brother are stunned, and they turn ashen. I continue softly, "Don't you guys remember? The kidnappers asked for a ransom, but you guys were only willing to save your other daughter. You wanted to teach me a lesson." Mom collapses on the couch. "That can't be. We wanted to teach you a lesson so you would stop bullying Eden. I didn't… We didn't…" I crouch before her. "You guys never expected the kidnappers to violate me, right?" I don't wait for an answer. "Do you think a few kidnappers would have morals and ethics?" She parts her lips to speak, but I don't give her the chance. "I was covered in injuries when I got home. Why didn't any of you ask me about them? "You guys took Eden away without bothering to save me. You didn't return for a day, for two days, for a month… Did you think the kidnappers would think that they could still receive the ransom?" They should be happy now—I'm about to die.

In a world where the gods of legend have become actual fact, a few misnomers from another planet seek to simply live their lives in peace. If you could choose one word from the dictionary, one that simply defines you to the core of your soul, what would you say your definition is?

"Everything was fine, until it wasn't. And that was because I was carrying a billionaire's baby from a one-night stand. A cold-hearted billionaire with an enormous ego. The question is, will that baby be my escape from my narcissistic parents, or will it bring even more complications, as I strike a deal with a billionaire? "I am your typical billionaire, the kind who walks around with a proud aura. A one-night with a woman brings me a solution to all of my troubles. But the problem was, I couldn't understand if this woman was bringing me another chance at happiness, or she was just karma, here for a payback."

WARNING: This Book Contains Explicit scenes And Adult Languages Do you like reading steamy, naughty, dirty, and filthy romances?? If your answer is yes, get ready for the ultimate erotic excitement that will get your blood pumping and your ovaries twitching. This novel is a collection of short erotic stories. It contains all manner of sexual explicit including StepSister And Brother sex,, Office sex, Lesbian sex, Teacher and student sex, Doctor and patient, Bondage And domination, Gang sex. Etc.

"You are not pulling any punches." Vicky said as she wore the shirt before asking truth or dare."Dare." Randy answered."I dare you to kiss me." She said. "And I don't mean a brotherly kiss. I mean a passionate, fuck me right now type of Kiss, right here and now."....Vicky fell on love with her step brother, Randy and decided to do anything it would take to have him for herself. She dosen't care the damage it may cause. She was determined to have him to the extent she got pregnant for him so he wouldn't have any choice.

Anabel found out she was pregnant and dialed her husband's number to share the good news to him. They have been married for two years without a child. Desmond's mother had been accusing her of being barren and unproductive. When the call was picked, she was flabbergasted and broken. She was hearing a loud moan of feminine voice. "Ohh! Yeah! Don't stop fucking me! I love your fucking dick! Fuck me harder baby!" accompanied with sound of skins slapping against the other. She went home to confront her husband and end up receiving a divorce paper. Desmond divorced him for a lady his mother was rooting. Few months later when he found out that his ex-wife is a billionaire heiress and she is pregnant with twins, he went crazy!

"Jennifer will flame up and the audience won't like it either. With this dress, all eyes will be on you." "Yeah, exactly. Just like the groom. They will be staring at my just like how you are staring at them right now." Susan said and this brought Steve back to reality as he shook his head. Susan seduced her best friend's fiancee on their wedding day and had with him before the wedding kicked off. She only wanted a quickie, but after the session, she changed her mind and decided to have him all for herself. This is a compilation of short steamy stories. Book 2 of WILD EPIC DESIRES.

Little did Jeanne know the best friend and lover that she adored will turn her life upside down in one night. Heart filled with mingled feelings, she decided to walk away to move on and find a new life. Then, Aaron appeared in her life, bringing new hope. At that same time, Andy the lover came back, trying to fight for her love again. Jeanne started to feel confuse over finding her right man. However, things turned unsorted whren Jeanne was suddenly pregnant. Who's the father? What is the ending for her unsteady friendship and love life?