Facefarting Stories Novels & Stories

“You’re just in time!” A sneering snort jabbed the air from behind me. The wedding planner froze in her smile. She turned to fire another scowl at her surprised assistant until I chuckled lightly. “Oh my,” I cried, covering my smirk to fake an apology on behalf of nun warrior, as though I was her master. “I am terribly sorry for that… ugly sound.” I thrust a thumb behind me and leaned forward, pretending to whisper into the wedding planner’s ear, and said bluntly in a normal tone, “She’s got a poor stomach. So the farts won’t stop coming.”

They were at a loss on how to handle themselves. "I pretended to be sick, coughing and sneezing all over the place," a much older pack member laughed and shook his head. “They had to leave my house as soon as possible. The stories came one after the other, crazier than the one before. Beneath the jokes and laughing, though, there was a feeling of victory.

I smiled, intrigued by her enthusiasm, and leaned back in my chair, silently encouraging her to continue. Sophia launched into a series of stories, each one more silly and entertaining than the last. She told me about the time she had accidentally spilled coffee all over her shirt and had to walk out of the shop with a giant stain on her chest. She told me about the time she had tried to order a complicated coffee drink and had ended up with a concoction that was completely undrinkable. And she told me about the time she had met a friend at the coffee shop and had ended up getting into a heated argument with him over something ridiculous. As she talked, I found myself becoming more and more

"Giulia, I think the cow is trying to make some abstract art on her face. Are you okay?" I wiped the milk from my face and smiled. "I'm fine, Bernardo. I think I still need to improve my milking skills, but at least the cow gave me an improvised facial." We laughed together, enjoying the moment of relaxation in the midst of hard work. It was a reminder that not everything needs to be serious and perfect, and that funny moments are like small gifts that remind us to enjoy life. As the days went by, the funny stories accumulated. From unexpected chicken escapades to stumbling on hay bales, each fun situation provided us with renewing laughs and an even deeper connection.

He seemed to deflate. "What movie and why did you jump out the window?" I laughed. "Oh. I watched a very interesting movie. It was live. The name was 'My-mate-is-kissing-my-sister-in-front-of-my-face.'" I said sarcastically. "I'm sorry. I just -" I cut him off before he could finish. "Oh, I know you're sorry for having sex with my sister. Totally sorry, I understand." I smiled at him.

"I once wrote a love letter on my mother’s laundry list. I signed it ‘From the mysterious shadow of your dream,’ and hid it in his pocket. He never found it. He never knew. My mother still hasn’t forgiven me." Marta clutched her apron. "I… I baked cookies for my crush, but forgot the sugar. He ate them anyway. He said they were 'authentically bitter like life.' I almost died of embarrassment." Amara laughed until she nearly slid off the chair. "I once told someone I loved—don’t laugh—I had perfected the most poetic, tragic confession ever. I rehearsed it in front of my mirror for a week. When I said it, he sneezed."

She said softly yet harshly . An hour flew by as everyone talked about random stuff, including life stories and their childhood. They were all joking and laughing now, having a good time but I had to force myself to keep a straight face. The guys are fun but acting nice around Rihana was annoying and just suffocating. "So tell us an embarrassing childhood accident that happened to you, Katy." Rihana nudged my shoulders and everyone waited for me to speak. I cleared my throat and went deep into my thoughts, trying to remember one.

“No, no, Garfield, I wasn’t asking about any of those things. Trust me, the last thing I would question you about is the multiplying rituals-” Before he can finish the sentence, I see my chance and you bet your ass - I take it. I cut him off and spoke over him with the widest shit-eating grin across my lips. “You see, the story about stork is true propaganda and lies. The truth is that a boy meets a girl, they fall in love, and they fuck like rabbits on crack.” Just to make it worse, I raise one finger and fake an ‘o’ shape with my fingers on my other hand to give him a demonstration. “So this stick, we call it a dick, goes into this hole and then, you pray your hips won’t give out and you j

I start with a small giggle on my face. “I spent my day work all day, mmm at my family company” I laugh. “W-what! That was so boring” Z laughs. “Huh, and I got drunk in the middle of the night, in my bedroom floor, and woke up on couch all the time” I end. Both of us laughing because of the story, our faces are getting red because of the laugh. “Oh, my goodness! That’s insane!” Z tried to stop her laughs and leave a little giggle on her face. “Yeah, my life was insane!” I laugh softly.

“And how exactly do you plan to make me laugh?” He grinned, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Oh, I have my ways.” I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help the smile that tugged at my lips. “Alright, Caspian. Show me what you’ve got.” He launched into a ridiculous story about Dev’s failed attempt to flirt with a waitress during a family vacation. His delivery was so animated and exaggerated that I couldn’t help but burst into laughter. By the time he finished, tears were streaming down my face, and my sides ached from laughing so hard.