Facefarting Stories Novels & Stories

What started off as a fairly subdued group quickly opened up as each of them told funny stories about themselves, knowing that Mark, Myra and Maddy didn't really know any of them. Mark told them of how he'd been so hungover in a lecture at college once that he'd fallen asleep and when he woke up it took him three hours to discover he had drawings on his face. Maddy told them of a photoshoot she'd done where she fainted in front of a client but still got the job, and of how she once did the infamous 'skirt-tucked-into-her-underwear' thing and no-one told her.

I brought down my head moving to smash my lips on hers but I ruined it by the most embarrassing of actions. It was a loud fart that convinced me that the universe hates me. I couldn't have my first kiss in peace. "Did you just fart?" She was having the laugh of her life. She slipped from my arms and onto the ground rolling on it with her palm clutching her belly as she laughed at my expense, "O-h he-a-vens, the count farts!"

Come closer, and I'll show you how it works! They played games, invented stories, make-believe, and many other things that the children of that city never had the opportunity to experience. With each new game that the rain boy taught them, the children became happier and consequently taller. By this time the rain had almost stopped and there was only a thin drizzle left. Until they started laughing so loudly that the old woman woke up from her sleep and ran with heavy steps to the children's room, all of them were having fun who didn't hear her coming. - I gave you shelter, clothes, food, and a place to spend the night and that's how you pays off! Destroying my children's minds! Making them

He said nuzzling his nose in my hair. "Yup" I yawned "I would tell you what I like, but you're sleepy so I'll tell you tomorrow" He smiled. I moved closer to him as I said "Should I tell you a joke?" He chuckled "Okay, tell me" "Seven billion faces in the world, but yours is the only one I wanna sit on" He bursted into laughter "Jeez Vanilla, sex jokes". His hand tightened on my waist, I smiled feeling content at the sound of his laughter.

He finally finished and the others laughed and cheered. “Awkward to admit, but that turned me on,” Elsa mused and the others laughed. “Who’s next?” The nasty stories went on and Saïda kept cringing over and over. Asahd laughed so hard at her. Saïda heard all sorts of things that she wasn’t even sure were possible. They amused and shocked her at the same time. Sometimes she would burst out laughing at the absurdity and oddness of the things she heard. ′Oh my! They are the sickest people ever! How is that even possible?? Eeeeeewwww.′

Rehana had already passed out while Rudra was talking. Rudra and Anu shared some of their high school stories, most of them were embarrassing. Ana turned all red when Rudra told us how she went strip poking in front her landlady when she was drunk. I had to bite my lips to the point they bled, to stifle my laughter. "That must be quite a show." I added while chuckling. "Oh, Shut up, not you too." My wife groaned beside me. "Actually it's fine you can do that again if you want, just make sure I am in the audience. The only audience to be more precise."

Translation: lie convincingly and make it cute. Some couples went all in—wild beach stories, candlelit dinners, ridiculous near-death adventures. A few were genuinely adorable. Others… were so detailed that Ivy was starting to wonder if they were actually fake couples at all. She sat beside me, fingers nervously tracing the rim of her empty champagne glass. “We didn’t plan a story,” she whispered, her voice tight. “That’s the fun of improv,” I said under my breath, fighting a grin. She turned and gave me that sideways glare—the one that said you’re enjoying this way too much. “You’ll be the death of me.”

I was unconsciously drooling. Host! the system sounded exhausted. "If you ever need a wife..." "..." "I am available." "..." He pauses. Just for one second. Only one. "Wait, that sounded way better when I said it in my head." "You are shameless," he mumbled, walking away. Host! Current Flirting Score: 2/100. Congratulations. You have successfully made the atmosphere colder. Why were all the handsome men in this world emotionally constipated? Was smiling illegal? Did beastmen lose facial muscles after adulthood?

"That's my dare. Tom, I dare you to tell us the most perverted, fucked up thing you've ever done. And you better tell the truth." "Hey," I said with a grin, "Truth is better than fiction. Alright, let me think. 'Most fucked up' is kind of subjective." I pondered a few different stories I could tell, and settled on the one I bragged about most to the boys on the football team. "OK, I know the story for you. So you guys remember Greg and Gina Fosters?" "The twins who moved away last year?" Matt asked. "Greg was kind of hot. Decent dick," Sarah said offhandedly, making Matt wince.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅• Katherine's laughter danced in the air, a delightful sound carried by the gentle breeze as Zayn shared the tale of his first horseback riding adventure. It was a story filled with youthful bravado and a runaway horse, depicting young Zayn being dragged upside down, his leg stuck in the stirrup, until a timely rescue saved him from what could've been an incredibly embarrassing (or even tragic) ending.